Where does she learn it from??!!

that is one great post HAK.. your inputs are just too good! i am having my share of problems too but i think i should start a new thread and will wait for your reply! gosh, it's all flooding in today! Seriously, I'm not Supernanny... I've just had a bit of a rollercoaster ride with DD and spent a lot of time getting advice and reading up on issues. It would seem as if she actually touched base on almost every issue that anyone seems to have - apart from sleeping problems - so I've gone through it all! Wow, lucky me! lol

that is one great post HAK.. your inputs are just too good! i am having my share of problems too but i think i should start a new thread and will wait for your reply!

My 2.5 year old daughter has taken to shouting sh*t at all-too-appropriate times. Now where did she learn *that* from??? Oh, I am so waiting for that from my two. And it won't be daddy's fault... Mine gives me "It's not fair", which I respond "Life's not fair". I've turned into my mother.

My 2.5 year old daughter has taken to shouting sh*t at all-too-appropriate times. Now where did she learn *that* from??? Daddy... ;) Mine will huff at me with their arms crossed, occasionally coming out with "it's not the end of the world" and "for crying out loud!"... I guess there are worse things out there!

My 2.5 year old daughter has taken to shouting sh*t at all-too-appropriate times. Now where did she learn *that* from???

I have to say, Hello Again Kitty, you are very sensible and give great advice, that too without judging anyone and taking yourself too seriously! Kudos to you..wish more of the ladies on EW were like you! Keep it up.. awww! I'm just winging it like everyone else really and trying not to scar my children too much in the process... it's just I've learnt a bit along the way and been fortunate to hear enough good advice to be able to pass it on. DD went through a "physical communication" [rolls eyes'> stage when she was 2 and lo and behold, DS, turning 2, started too - and he's a far, far more easy-going chap than DD (unless you try to take his car or train, in which case you get 15kg of rather strong toddler in your face!)

I have to say, Hello Again Kitty, you are very sensible and give great advice, that too without judging anyone and taking yourself too seriously! Kudos to you..wish more of the ladies on EW were like you! Keep it up..

it's a developmental thing - think of it this way, what's currently in her toolkit for effective communication? Crying, shouting and getting physical, the next step is mastering a vocabulary that allows her to communicate appropriately, which is actually quite a large step, because it also involves a certain amount of empathy (if I hit X, it will hurt them, so it is unacceptable for me to do it), emotional maturity (actually realising what emotion they are feeling and then moving on to how they should express it) and objectivity (being able to step back and not just follow your instant reaction). Big things! Heck, some adults still have trouble with those things! The way to help her is to teach her how to respond appropriately and guide her through it by example. This will try your patience, but it does pay off! Try and understand what she's trying to express (DD used to hit if she was playing with something and another child got too close, for example) and then say "No, you don't need to hit. Just say "please can you move away"" and then get her to say sorry for hitting - always the appropriate alternative and the consequence for hitting. They won't say sorry to start off with, and certainly won't understand that they need to mean it, but it sets a good habit! Also, yes, the older generation (my parents in law do it) seem to like blaming (and then smacking) inanimate objects - so if DD falls off a chair, they'd smack the chair, saying "naughty chair!" - er, WTF?! "daft DD", maybe, but no, not "naughty chair" - what kind of idea of responsibility does that give the child?! "Oh, no I didn't hit Jimmy, he walked into my fist"... yeah. Man up! Try to therefore avoid any violence and always, in all your dealing, remember that a little pair of eyes is watching and learning from how you resolve conflict and how you interact with the people around you. Your manners will be their guide. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 12/09/2011</em>

Have they been exposed to any TV for grown-ups? If so, could they have picked it up from the violence in action movies?

DS is 15 months and has just spent the summer smacking his younger cousin over the head with whatever's to hand. He doesn't go to nursery, he isn't smacked and I haven't ever seen him see someone smacked. I have no clue!