8 Struggles Only Parents on the School Run Can Relate

It’s called a run for a reason.

Posted on

6 October 2019

8 Struggles Only Parents on the School Run Can Relate

All Credits: PA

Ah, the school run. Those blissful few hours where you and the kids can harmoniously prepare for the day ahead over a peaceful breakfast, a calm car ride and leisurely stroll to the classroom.

Just kidding. Every parent knows the school run is basically an endurance challenge. It is the portion of the day designed to test your physical, mental and emotional stamina, and more often than not, push you to breaking point over an unbrushed set of teeth.

If you’re new to the school run, you’ll already be wising up to a few universal truths: the toast always lands butter side down, the traffic lights are always red and kids don’t give a monkeys about time.

And if you’ve already found yourself bellowing at the teacher to hold the door at the school gates with two mismatching shoes on your feet, you might just relate to these school-run problems…

1. You’ve given up on looking chic at the school gates

Typically, you started the school run as you meant to go on – looking like Victoria Beckham rolling up to the first day of London Fashion Week. Your nails were manicured, your hair was perfectly tousled, your outfits were on point. This school run thing? You’ve got it down, sis.

Like all good things though, that period of your life swiftly came to an end. Now you trip through the school gates in pyjama bottoms, a messy topknot and an oversized hoodie. You’ve also perfected the ultimate mum accessory: a frothy globule of toothpaste flung down your front.

2. No matter how hard you try, the kids always look dishevelled

All summer long, you dutifully practised doing French plaits from a Zoella YouTube tutorial, so the kids wouldn’t turn up to class looking like Edward Scissorhands.

When the time comes to execute the damn thing though, you manage to supremely mess it up. There are now lumps and bumps in your child’s hair that even the most elaborate clips from Claire’s accessories can’t hide. Walking through a hedge backwards couldn’t produce this effect.

3. There’s never enough coffee

During the school holidays, your relationship with coffee was healthy. Now, it is basically your life source. There’s a rule in your household that nobody can nag you until the first stream of Nespresso goodness has ricocheted from the machine into your cup. Silence must be adhered to until then.

4. The kids have reached a new level of grumpy

Despite giving them several polite warnings that they need to get out the door by 8am, the kids are always shocked and astounded to learn that that they need to leave the house. Cue screaming.

5. There’s always one thing that’s missing

Lunchbag, backpack, their left shoe… getting out of the front door usually involves staging a search party operation in your own house in pursuit of one lost item. Much like the warm weather, the car keys seem to be waging a war against you too.

6. You feel like you’ve aged about 40 years

As we mentioned earlier, you started the school run looking like Victoria Beckham. Now you look more like Keith Richards.

7. The kids know how to slow you down

Whether its insisting on tying their own shoelaces (in an excruciatingly slow manner) or making you go back into the house to grab their favourite nonsensical object, the kids are yet to grasp your sense of urgency.

Make no mistake; the little people in your household wear the trousers, and boy do they know it.

8. There’s always that one other family that never seems stressed

There they are, at it again. Breezing out of the school gates. Laughing. Joking. Looking like a scene from a parenting catalogue.

You admire and loathe them in equal measure. You could be them. If only you didn’t snooze your alarm. If only the kids didn’t scream and shout. If only… oh darn it, you can always dream.