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Why You Need To Stop Praising Your Child’s Abilities

Praising your child's talents isn't actually that useful...

Posted on

30 August 2017

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Why You Need To Stop Praising Your Child’s Abilities

Praising children’s talents and gifts impacts them on the long run, yet many parents do it the wrong way, unintentionally.

Most parents assume that praising their child’s abilities boosts his self-esteem and confidence, but a new body of research suggests that it could actually be destroying their desire to learn more, and their ability to encounter wind of failure.

According to Carol Dweck; a social psychologist from Stanford University, people perceive the world using two mindsets; a fixed mindset, and a growth one. The difference between the two is people with fixed mindsets believe they’re abilities are perfected in a way that can’t be changed; which leaves them unable to develop or acquire new skills.

While on the other hand, a growth mindset is believing that your abilities can be developed and cultivated through hard work, effort, and the right guidance.

A certain mindset can also alter how one can view failure and success, meaning that a person with a fixed mindset believes that his abilities are the reason behind a success or a failure; which basically refer to people who shy away from new challenges to avoid looking bad. While a growth mindset interpret failure as a lack of experience or skills – elements that can be improved through practice and guidance – which leaves people with such mindsets learning from their mistakes and not repeating them ever again.

Praise has a powerful and deep impact on shaping a mindset, hence, it has a strong effect on success in life.

How To Shape Up A Growth Mindset:

Praising your child’s effort, rather than his ability sets him on the right track. For instance, praising his efforts and process that led to scoring A's at exams, instead of complimenting his intelligence.

You see, when people develop a fixed mindset, they rely heavily on their natural gifts, without actually trying to cultivate or acquire new abilities; which deprives them from indulging in new challenges that may benefit them on the long run.