Terrible maids with kids in the Marina | ExpatWoman.com
 

Terrible maids with kids in the Marina

36
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 15:46

I quite often go down to the fountains in the Marina area and the play area in the Emaar 6 buildings with my daughter and have seen some pretty terrible maids looking after kids. There's the big, sri-lankan lady with the crazy eyes who a few people have seen beating the baby she looks after and forcefeeding him food while he cries and vomits. There's the african maid who pushes around the baby she looks after underneath my balcony, round and round while the baby screams and she pays him no attention - all the while she talks on the phone. In fact both those maids are always on the phone and never take the babies out of the pram. Then there's a little girl called India who I always see tied up in her pram even though she's a toddler. The other day I was standing outside spinneys and saw her maid shout at her so violently and then scream "shut up! shut up!" while India cried - just so she could continue talking to her friend. Then at one point she raised her hand in the air as if to beat her and only then did her friend point out that I was looking at them. She just brought down her hand looked away and kept talking to her friend. The next day I saw India again, and once again she was tied up in her pram, once again with tears in her eyes while her maid spoke to another maid. India turned and looked at me with such sad eyes like something inside of her had broken. It really affected me. I thought, she cant speak for herself but someone should. I always think no matter how uncomfortable it may be if I ever saw the parents of these kids out with their children I would tell them about the behaviour of their maids. But I never see the parents. I just see the kids day in day out with the people hired to look after them. I do think though that if you leave your children in charge with a maid all day then you should pop-in from time to time unannounced, or go spy on them when they are out and about, just to make sure they are giving your kids the best care that they deserve. It's the least you can do when you've hired someone to look after the most precious being to you. I also think, if the maids are acting like this in public, what are they doing in private?

47
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 23:04
I quite often go down to the fountains in the Marina area and the play area in the Emaar 6 buildings with my daughter and have seen some pretty terrible maids looking after kids. There's the big, sri-lankan lady with the crazy eyes who a few people have seen beating the baby she looks after and forcefeeding him food while he cries and vomits. There's the african maid who pushes around the baby she looks after underneath my balcony, round and round while the baby screams and she pays him no attention - all the while she talks on the phone. In fact both those maids are always on the phone and never take the babies out of the pram. Then there's a little girl called India who I always see tied up in her pram even though she's a toddler. The other day I was standing outside spinneys and saw her maid shout at her so violently and then scream "shut up! shut up!" while India cried - just so she could continue talking to her friend. Then at one point she raised her hand in the air as if to beat her and only then did her friend point out that I was looking at them. She just brought down her hand looked away and kept talking to her friend. The next day I saw India again, and once again she was tied up in her pram, once again with tears in her eyes while her maid spoke to another maid. India turned and looked at me with such sad eyes like something inside of her had broken. It really affected me. I thought, she cant speak for herself but someone should. I always think no matter how uncomfortable it may be if I ever saw the parents of these kids out with their children I would tell them about the behavior of their maids. But I never see the parents. I just see the kids day in day out with the people hired to look after them. I do think though that if you leave your children in charge with a maid all day then you should pop-in from time to time unannounced, or go spy on them when they are out and about, just to make sure they are giving your kids the best care that they deserve. It's the least you can do when you've hired someone to look after the most precious being to you. I also think, if the maids are acting like this in public, what are they doing in private? You must tell the parent, even if she doesn't care at least you can sleep at night knowing that you done what you can. I have intervened a few times in the ME without even thinking about the consequences ie what if she thinks i'm being nosey, interfering blah, blah, blah! i don't care. feet first, that's me! Just last week i sat and watched a maid treat a toddler like @£$% in DLC whilst the mother was in the doctors room, so rather than intervene ii waited until she come out and approached her straight away. She was very grateful and told me that now she will sack her as she was told by another "observer" last week that she had seen the same thing happen. Did i feel guilty that the maid will lose her job? No! I felt good that maybe i saved a child's confidence levels from sinking even deeper. If this maid was bold enough to be this rude to her in public lord only knows what goes on behind closed doors.
1861
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 22:34
It just seems pointless for the entire village to get involved when in some cases (not pointing at this case in particular) it is obvious that the maid/nanny isnt giving the best of care and yet the mother chooses for whatever reason, to ignore it. I have seen such examples for myself in various situations. What use then, of perfect strangers worrying about child abuse to a particular child? If you saw someone committing a crime, but that didn't involve you in any way, or if you saw something suspicious, would you not still notify the appropriate people? It's part of being part of society, to look out for the more vulnerable and help uphold our social values. You know I'd buy that theory except this isnt like a robbery or a crime where the bad guy gets taken away and locked up....who is to say the mother would just bring in another sub-standard stand in for herself. Dont mean to come across as callous as I sound, but sometimes I have noticed mothers who have witnessed half-hearted care and dont want to do anything about it as long as they dont have to get involved. The mother in this case could very well be horrified and grateful for the intervention but just reading how bold the maid has become in her behaviour, makes me suspect she knows she's the only one in charge. In other parts of the world, that could come under many actual crimes - like neglect - and the parents could face prosecution. I'd like to think that the mum isn't aware and not through apathy. It's just as probable that she doesn't know or realise and so hopefully, bringing it to her attention would make her think again about the current childcare set-up. Maybe, if she did have an inkling, she would be ashamed that it was so obvious and would then try to make amends... or maybe yes, maybe she won't care enough to do anything, in which case, she should thank her lucky stars she's here and not in Europe, where she would have her children taken from her.
36
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 20:48
It just seems pointless for the entire village to get involved when in some cases (not pointing at this case in particular) it is obvious that the maid/nanny isnt giving the best of care and yet the mother chooses for whatever reason, to ignore it. I have seen such examples for myself in various situations. What use then, of perfect strangers worrying about child abuse to a particular child? If you saw someone committing a crime, but that didn't involve you in any way, or if you saw something suspicious, would you not still notify the appropriate people? It's part of being part of society, to look out for the more vulnerable and help uphold our social values. Agree. It's our civil responsibility.
876
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EW GURU
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 20:46
overfed, overpaid, unintelligent maids just give them the punch they deserve after posting the video on youtube
1861
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 20:39
It just seems pointless for the entire village to get involved when in some cases (not pointing at this case in particular) it is obvious that the maid/nanny isnt giving the best of care and yet the mother chooses for whatever reason, to ignore it. I have seen such examples for myself in various situations. What use then, of perfect strangers worrying about child abuse to a particular child? If you saw someone committing a crime, but that didn't involve you in any way, or if you saw something suspicious, would you not still notify the appropriate people? It's part of being part of society, to look out for the more vulnerable and help uphold our social values.
2725
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 20:25
It just seems pointless for the entire village to get involved when in some cases (not pointing at this case in particular) it is obvious that the maid/nanny isnt giving the best of care and yet the mother chooses for whatever reason, to ignore it. I have seen such examples for myself in various situations. What use then, of perfect strangers worrying about child abuse to a particular child? A lot of child abuse cases back in the UK go undetected, or when its too late to help. If I was to witness any kind of cruelty to a child, regardless me being a stranger, surely its for the whole benefit to that child. Its the same difference when children are sent to nursery, and all the staff are kind and polite, and show great effection to the children whilst parents are there behind closed doors, some children are being treated very cruelly, sometimes people do walk round in sheeps clothing.
36
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 20:18
I haven't read all the replies, but you absolutely owe it to that little girl to speak up .... to perhaps follow the maid home or something to find out where she lives. You may just make a huge difference in her little life.
1238
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 19:42
Not wishing to upset the apple cart here, but honestly apart from the 'village raising a child' theory, doesnt the first line of duty rest with the parent who hired this unreliable person to be the primary caregiver of their child? When faced with no choice but to get a job, wouldnt the next step be to make sure of the very best care, by getting someone qualified, and then double and triple checking, and placing nanny cams? Maybe I'm wrong but wouldnt a mother's gut instinct kick in when something is amiss? A maid that is this 'uncivilized' would ring alarm bells even if she were doing pirouettes around my child to put on an act in front of me. If the nanny is an Oscar winning actress, surely the child itself would give off telltale signs of distress, depression, withdrawal, unhappiness. Being ignored at the level that these children are exposed to would show up to a perceptive mother looking for the signs, even if the nanny did a good cover up job. Absolutely right. But I have so many friends whose helpis obviously terrible and they just make excuses. Mine are both amazing, and everyone says so, but I still triple check regularly. <em>edited by guinness on 08/03/2011</em>
3804
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 19:40
Not wishing to upset the apple cart here, but honestly apart from the 'village raising a child' theory, doesnt the first line of duty rest with the parent who hired this unreliable person to be the primary caregiver of their child? When faced with no choice but to get a job, wouldnt the next step be to make sure of the very best care, by getting someone qualified, and then double and triple checking, and placing nanny cams? Maybe I'm wrong but wouldnt a mother's gut instinct kick in when something is amiss? A maid that is this 'uncivilized' would ring alarm bells even if she were doing pirouettes around my child to put on an act in front of me. If the nanny is an Oscar winning actress, surely the child itself would give off telltale signs of distress, depression, withdrawal, unhappiness. Being ignored at the level that these children are exposed to would show up to a perceptive mother looking for the signs, even if the nanny did a good cover up job. In an ideal world, yes this absolutely is true. But sad to say, many parents act like they shouldn't even have children and leave them to be brought up by the home help. They have so little interest in their children, that they just wouldn't notice. And yes you're right in saying it's ridiculous to employ anyone other than a qualified nanny to look after children. A maid, is not a nanny. But even so, it doesn't excuse the way some treat children.
106
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 18:13
As a "tourist " who likes to video everything on holiday, who just happens to catch this going on in the same clip as my holiday movie, come on people... did spines become optional there are ways to explain a capture on a video. just video a before and after section. pan around... its not difficult. and much worse finds it way to the public domain. the problem with approaching the parents first is, they will be on the defensive and in denial. evidence is a different story.. I might even consider putting it on a disc with a note under the door if necessary.. but just do something.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 18:01
And give her the Face while you're doing it?
253
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:51
Sals-count me in! I am down for a rumble at the Marina Fountains! ;) I am 6 months pregnant though, so may have to just do all the yelling-which apparently I am very good at! Will look out for you!!! see you down there on Thursday if your about. SalsB i'm in, do we know if these maids are around morning or afternoons normally?
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:48
If any maid can mistreat a child in public, I would hate to know what they are doing behind closed doors. Call me the Maid Police, Im always sitting around watching the world go by, and If I had to jump in I would do it with both feet. Child abuse is the most awful crime, Ive seen fly on the wall documentaries back home, enough to make you cry!!!!!!!
3804
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:46
great post gleekfamily, and I agree that action taken has to be very well thought out. I don't see the harm in filming someone, heck they film bad drivers all the time and whack it up on youtube. My first port of call would be to try and speak to the parents. As you point out, having a go at the maid, could make her take it out on the child.
481
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:43
Aren't these kinds of situations much more complicated than just telling the woman off or going to tell the mother (if you can find her!). I'm not too sure about what the laws are re: filming people in public w/out their knowledge either (which would have been my first suggestion). I think it would be best to call the police and inquire about what they suggest you do in these situations. If they say, yes, film it w/ your videophone so you have evidence or else we cannot intervene, then there you go. You can bring that to the mother and the police. If you just tell the woman off, it's only going to stop her that 1 time. Also, imagine what anger or frustration she could take out on the child after your intervention, when no one is around to see. I think we must try to keep our own emotions in check and ultimately do the right thing for the child's future, not just the moment. <em>edited by gleekfamily on 08/03/2011</em>
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:25
I think this is utterly appalling, it's child abuse plain and simple and the parents should be informed of it and the abusers taken to task over it. AGREED!!! The "it's none of my business" attitude is the reason so much abuse continues-because people look the other way.
3804
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:24
I think this is utterly appalling, it's child abuse plain and simple and the parents should be informed of it and the abusers taken to task over it.
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:21
Sals-count me in! I am down for a rumble at the Marina Fountains! ;) I am 6 months pregnant though, so may have to just do all the yelling-which apparently I am very good at! Will look out for you!!! see you down there on Thursday if your about. You can't miss me! I don't exactly look preggers just yet...more like on a steady diet of beer and cheese and a victim of serious bloat! I wish I had a t-shirt that says "I am not fat, just pregnant"!
106
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:19
SalsB, I commend your Attitude ! AriVW, The maid may appear trustworthy when the parents are around.. its not that easy... The point is that when abuse is seen to be occurring it should under NO CIRCUMSTANCES be ignored
129
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:17
Well done girls will make an appearance as well....I will be thinking of those poor kids all the time now.....EW army on the way
2725
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:17
Sals-count me in! I am down for a rumble at the Marina Fountains! ;) I am 6 months pregnant though, so may have to just do all the yelling-which apparently I am very good at! Will look out for you!!! see you down there on Thursday if your about.
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:13
Sals-count me in! I am down for a rumble at the Marina Fountains! ;) I am 6 months pregnant though, so may have to just do all the yelling-which apparently I am very good at!
131
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:13
I do understand that not all can afford to stay at home with kids. But I meant if you had no choice but left your child with stranger - employ qualified person or at least be selective and find the maid who is fully trustful. And not just leave your child with anyone who offers the help.
2725
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:11
I visit the Marina walk often and If I ever saw a maid mis treating a child I would have to step in, even thou people would say its none of my business. Maybe we should sit and wait down at the marina with a coffee, I will have a look out for the maids in question!!!!!!!!!! Need to get ribbons so we can identify each other!!!
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:10
sage and KC, very well said both posts. This is about the child, not the parents. We don't know the situation, but we do know that when you see a child being abused if you walk by and do nothing or assume the parents don't care-I hate to say it, but you are enabling this abuse to continue. You could be a chance to help this child.
106
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:06
it is a bit of a stretch to say the parents don't care, the mum may be the bread winner, it happens. she may think she has the best maid in the world.. 99% of people have a smart phone... these take video... video the "abuse" and either show the mum first hand , or show the police.. I draw the line at child abuse, and whether it be by maid or parent, verbal, or physical, abuse is abuse... and NO-ONE should walk by. the comment about wether you should care because the parents don't, was very bad. THE CHILD CARES and thats the only thing that should matter. I see people very vocal on this board in the defence of animals, why should children get less of a voice because a maid is involved.. it should not be about the maid it should be about the child and only the child.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:04
@AriVW: Both DH and I worked and we really needed the maid to help with DD. We were super lucky because for the 1st six months my MIL (obsessed with DD now unfortunately) was able to help out. We spent ages looking for our maid (older lady, single, loves kids, etc), but after NOV its been just us and the maid. I had to leave DD alone with her when I went in to work for five days a week. Now, the maid is completely in love with DD around me, but I would not know if she did something behind my back. We call randomly, do spot checks. All looks good. Maybe parents dont know this is going on. If they do and they condone it or turn a blind eye, then they dont deserve their children. Btw, I do think my maid is quite civilized and it would shock me to know she was mistreating my child. That being said.... after reading this stuff I am so glad I am going to be a SAHM now. @terf: Please do something. Someone has to speak up for these kids. Dont be afraid of the maid Mafia. They cant do anything to you. <em>edited by kcinthecity on 08/03/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:04
I dont think she meant barely civilized with any reference to the race/nationality but rather to the behaviour towards the child, which I think we can all agree WAS barely civilized. Thank you, and you are right it wasn’t about any particular nationality. But Americans are very tender about all racist issues…;)
199
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 17:02
I had a neighbor in my development who had a maid that was terrible. She was great acting super sweet around the parents, but some of the stay at home moms and other maids noticed that she was actually terrible. A neighbor, one that loved closer to the family, spoke up and the maid got fired and banned. She was in charge of caring for a special needs child, and she just ignored him all day, talked on the phone, took him out without parents permission etc...I know, it was like how can the parents leave their special needs child with an unqualified maid. Well, this B*tchbag came with excellent references and experience with special needs children. The parents are good people, they were just fooled. Lets not judge and focus more on-its takes a village right? Imagine if someone witnessed your child being abused and didn't tell you?
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 08 March 2011 - 16:55
I don't normally get into the maid threads, but this one has really upset me. OP, you need to do something about this. I don't believe asking the maid for madam's number is thr right thing to do as the maid will probably give you a dodgy number. I would follow them home then knock on the door. Something HAS to be done for these poor kids. :(
 
 

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