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EWmums

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ewmoda

Why so judgemental?

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596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 21:03

probably very true. imo being judgemental is human nature - we all do it to a degree. The difference is whether we voice it or mind our own business !!

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 20:58

imo being judgemental is human nature - we all do it to a degree. The difference is whether we voice it or mind our own business !!

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 19:03

Here here . I actually like listening to all the views and opinions of other cultures. I have been to many countries in my life and would always have to make my routines fit in with that country. Now, sometimes I work the countries cultures around mine. Say for instance, i used to cook a dinner, served as one meal on a plate, my boyfriend is used to having a buffet style dinner. At first I was like, no way, what a waste of time and effort but not I have adapted. I never really used to like seeing kids out late. (to an extent I still dont now) however, I realise that having kids doesnt mean that your life has to stop at 7pm when they have to go to bed and you sit at home all night. Probably the biggest thing I have learnt about being here is that families really love eachother and spend a lt of time together, sisters and brothers would dod anything for eachother and the parents are the most respected thing. I never really saw family time in the UK as such, we all just sat in different rooms watching our own tv programmes and living out lives. This is something that I cant wait to do with my own family. Embrace rather than be judgemental

185

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 12:00

I actually like listening to all the views and opinions of other cultures. I have been to many countries in my life and would always have to make my routines fit in with that country. Now, sometimes I work the countries cultures around mine. Say for instance, i used to cook a dinner, served as one meal on a plate, my boyfriend is used to having a buffet style dinner. At first I was like, no way, what a waste of time and effort but not I have adapted. I never really used to like seeing kids out late. (to an extent I still dont now) however, I realise that having kids doesnt mean that your life has to stop at 7pm when they have to go to bed and you sit at home all night. Probably the biggest thing I have learnt about being here is that families really love eachother and spend a lt of time together, sisters and brothers would dod anything for eachother and the parents are the most respected thing. I never really saw family time in the UK as such, we all just sat in different rooms watching our own tv programmes and living out lives. This is something that I cant wait to do with my own family. Embrace rather than be judgemental

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 11:32

I think this comment below is very very valid and one does not need an expert to know but people do appear to need an expert to say it so it is valid. Paying children for successes is not the best way but life is so so competitive with everything, it is crazy. Life is not always positive and children and adults need to learn both . Personally I don't like the comment people should only mix with positive people as negative people pull one down. We are all positive and negative at various stages and points in our lives and we all need to be more understanding of others. Those who are negative all of the time may have an illness and this is different and need professional help. Some expert recently said that we should not praise our children for doing what is required of them, homework, cleaning up etc, as this is judging them. How can we apply this to other people?

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 10:22

It is very hard to accept that not everyone shares your own view, and it is even harder when you are so sure and especially if it is a safety issue etc. Some expert recently said that we should not praise our children for doing what is required of them, homework, cleaning up etc, as this is judging them. How can we apply this to other people?

123

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 10:10

It is nice to receive some good advice and to try it out and see if it works for you. But its another thing to look down on people who dont live exactly by the same letter as you do. I sometimes catch myself being judgmental when I see people out with their babies under one at the weirdest places at the weirdest hours. But than again, you never know why, maybe the baby was sick and they dont have a sitter and had to make a run to the pharmacy.... But the thread of woman who was complaining about a screaming kid in a coffee shop? That for me was a bit rude. I would never do that. I have seen a 3 year old throw himself on the floor rolling and screaming murder in the organic supermarket because he didnt get something (no idea what) and his mother ignored his behavior and pretended all was fine, continuing her shopping. I thought that was pretty cool how she remained calm and I am sure it will happen to the best of us.

70

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 08:52

There is a very fine line between being judgemental and trying to bully people into your line of thought though. It is a very fine skill to be able to accept others opinions and actions when you don't agree with them and sadly one I still have not mastered.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 08:49

I am very judgemental, but equally of my own culture (USA) and the culture here. At the same time, I can also see the positive in both cultures.

253

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 08:09

I have to say one thing I will be eternally judgmental about is the use of car seats or lack in so many cases. In my opinion it's just plain stupid and selfish to neglect our children.

2322

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 07:53

Judgemental? I see people talking about THEIR preferences/beliefs/ideas/experiences. Yes, we are all different, and yes we don't always agree...in fact we disagree alot. Who says thats wrong? It may get out of hand occasionally, so what? It's quite natural to talk about anything from our own frame of reference. You may get someone who sets out to deliberately provoke, there may be a language misunderstanding but for the most part the women on this board can be very respectful of each other. If we were to be quiet, not discuss anything for the risk of sounding judgemental (and my personal favourite, bullying) then how do we exchange ideas, learn about one another?

edna.welthorpe36638

516

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 07:44

Don't forget the judgementalism that always accompanies any discussion of news stories about people who have ended up in trouble here. There's always a rush of posters trying to pick holes in the story, usually starting with "Hmmmm, doesn't add up".

197

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 01:41

Maple, when I look at the news I realise that I know nothing about nothing

394

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 00:45

Thank you ladies; at least I got that off my chest. I hope it gives people something to think about before they go preaching whats right next time.

119

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 23:13

Just reading the various threads over the past few months I find that people are so judgemental about everything...taking kids to the movies, what time other nationality kids go to bed, screaming kids in malls etc etc etc. I know most of my references have been to topics dealing with kids but those were the first that came to mind since I have three of my own. Why are we so judgemental? Of course we all have opinions on matters but to strongly condemn/dislike is just beyond me. Shows a degree of self centredness that we cant look beyond ourselves, our own cultures and just judge others different from us in a negative manner. Sad!! :) agree

197

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 22:28

Maple...."everyone knows best" "hindsight is a wonderful thing" "don't want to say I told you so" ad finitum... Don't worry about it...Alhamdulillah (since I'm in the UAE at the moment) we are all different! YAY!!

14

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 22:22

I have lived in 4 different countries since I have had my kids - Austria, UK, Turkey, Dubai and about to move to the US and I would say that the cultural differences in raising kids and how they should eat/behave/bed time/schooling, etc is fascinating. I remember going to mum's groups in Vienna and many of the Austrian mums would still be breast feeding their kids at 2 or 3 and my local cafe would not serve me tomato on my sandwiches because they believe tomatoes are really bad for pregnant women. In the UK, it was all about serving kids dinner at 530 and parents eating separately whereas in Istanbul people wanted my kids on play dates until 10pm so they could play and eat dinner with them at 830 .... I love the differences but I think it is easy to get judgemental that your way is the best and that other parents should get with the picture.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 20:43

I suppose it's just a women thing.

394

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 20:36

Just reading the various threads over the past few months I find that people are so judgemental about everything...taking kids to the movies, what time other nationality kids go to bed, screaming kids in malls etc etc etc. I know most of my references have been to topics dealing with kids but those were the first that came to mind since I have three of my own. Why are we so judgemental? Of course we all have opinions on matters but to strongly condemn/dislike is just beyond me. Shows a degree of self centredness that we cant look beyond ourselves, our own cultures and just judge others different from us in a negative manner. Sad!!

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