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44

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 October 2011 - 22:00

I undersand you totally. You don't feel good to spend the money someone else earned. But think this way, you have given up your career because of the family. You deserve to spend the money as if you have earned it. Although myself is still in the status thinking whether to give up my work/place totally because my husband wants to move elsewhere. It is not easy.

330

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 22 October 2011 - 16:46

Thanks for support Sue62 :-)

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 22 October 2011 - 14:46

morning ladies, just want to know how many of you (working mothers) are willing to leave the country you love and decent salary to move with husand with potential no short term financial independence just to keep your family together? Thanks, Ermm. No is the answer, we would have kept the family together by not moving at all. It wouldn't have made sense for us as a family to come to Dubai if I had to give up my job. We were used to being a double working parents family in the UK. If I had to give up my job to follow him here, DH's package would not have covered the loss of income for a start. Fortunately we were able to carry on as a double working parents family, with me continuing with a job (equivalent-ish but not the same) in the industry. ETA - but those were our circumstances. <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 22/10/2011</em>

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 22 October 2011 - 14:09

That's my story, too... and an ongoing one)) I was about to land a great job in Moscow after my first maternity leave but had to give it up as we moved to Germany. After my second maternity here I finally got another great offer locally and then BANG, DH gets this opportunity in Dubai... so we are moving again. Disappointing, yes... but totally worth it. That being said, I am still struggling to cope with the financial dependence. I've been making my own money ever since I was 17 (and I'm 31 now and it's been three years since I'm not working) and I just can't feel comfortable [b'>spending something I didn't earn[/b'>. Not talking about 'household' money ofcourse but money to spend on myself. And that is despite the fact that my DH is very considerate, always encouraging me to buy stuff for myself and I cannot remember a time when I had to ask him for money. It's just something that sits in me and I can't really help it. But you DO earn it.. you look after your children, you cook, you clean, you do laundry and on and on... all things that if you didn't do them you would be paying someone else to !! Not your fault that you can't go out to work - your "job" is in the home now...you decided to have a family together and that's now your role.. Tough making the adjustment, i know but what you do in the home is as valuable as what your husband does outside of it !!

330

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 17:27

That's my story, too... and an ongoing one)) I was about to land a great job in Moscow after my first maternity leave but had to give it up as we moved to Germany. After my second maternity here I finally got another great offer locally and then BANG, DH gets this opportunity in Dubai... so we are moving again. Disappointing, yes... but totally worth it. That being said, I am still struggling to cope with the financial dependence. I've been making my own money ever since I was 17 (and I'm 31 now and it's been three years since I'm not working) and I just can't feel comfortable spending something I didn't earn. Not talking about 'household' money ofcourse but money to spend on myself. And that is despite the fact that my DH is very considerate, always encouraging me to buy stuff for myself and I cannot remember a time when I had to ask him for money. It's just something that sits in me and I can't really help it.

44

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 14:10

Thank you very much for your comments ladies.

44

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 13:29

In short, that's why I'm here. I got lucky to the extent that after a few months I managed to land a job/salary, so the gamble wasn't too great a financial loss. That said, our experience moving to be with dh has turned out to be entirely another gamble. The relocation was presented as an opportunity for more time together as a family, since dh would be traveling regionally (no longer worldwide) and would have shorter periods of travel. This has thus far not turned out to be true. And so we are looking now at how to manage. We don't like Dubai (I can see that a lot of people love it here, but for us, it's not a "love match"), none of us, and with dh gone more than here, we found that we moved for something that turned out not to be. So we will likely repatriate after the school year and dh will finish out the term of his contract from his base in Dubai. We'll find ways to spend time together, but with dh always out of town, it's just not working out for us here. I suppose we're lucky that none of us like it; if dh had fallen in love with the place and the rest of us didn't like it, or if only I had the problem, it would be more complicated. And ultimately, we're aiming for a life together, just going to send the wife and kids back to "scout" for the life in the home country again. We really had hoped for 3-5 years together here, but it is just not going to happen.

270

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 12:11

I would not even consider any alternative!!! Family comes before money and work. If DH had to move to another country and we all could not go, with out a doubt I know he would not take it! And same here. Nothing is more important then that.

870

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 11:19

morning ladies, just want to know how many of you (working mothers) are willing to leave the country you love and decent salary to move with husand with potential no short term financial independence just to keep your family together? Thanks, without a doubt would always keep family together as best i could and if i could.

44

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 October 2011 - 10:10

morning ladies, just want to know how many of you (working mothers) are willing to leave the country you love and decent salary to move with husand with potential no short term financial independence just to keep your family together? Thanks,

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