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Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 19:45

Good to know , when I hear and have seen on TV the naughty step approach I do wonder at times ? as the odd smack can work. Thankfully I did not need to, only a few times but admit harness / hand straps made it easier to handle children especially in a large supermarket or walking on streets , crossing pavements etc etc. Yes I have had my children throw tatrums and yes i dealt with it and think the odd smack does help but modern parents are not allowed to do this. but modern parents are still allowed to give the occasional smack - at least in the UK. Ok, it's not the "sound thrashing" of yesteryear, but the police aren't going to swoop down instantly on a parent who give just enough of a shock so as to stop the unwanted behaviour. well, imo a smack as punishment not only doesn't work, but teaches the child a set of life-rules that to be honest is likely to confuse them more - the scenario where a parent smacks a child as punishment for hitting another child is a case in point. Er... step back and what is it actually teaching? That it's OK to hit if you're bigger than the one being hit and "have a good reason to do so"... for a child, a "good reason" could well be something like "he took my toy"! However, a physical signal to stop doing something quickly is effective, especially when they are in a dangerous situation and not quite in control of themselves. As someone who is prone to lashing out (if I let myself), I feel that getting physical with a child is a sign of the adult's own weakness... a sign that they, for whatever reason aren't able to control themselves or channel their anger/frustration in appropriate ways. Ironic then, that we're talking about tantrums, which are a toddler's version of the very same problem! We are role models to our children every waking moment (no pressure then!) and how we deal with difficult situations is the biggest lesson our children learn from us. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 21/03/2011</em>

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 18:59

Good to know , when I hear and have seen on TV the naughty step approach I do wonder at times ? as the odd smack can work. Thankfully I did not need to, only a few times but admit harness / hand straps made it easier to handle children especially in a large supermarket or walking on streets , crossing pavements etc etc. Yes I have had my children throw tatrums and yes i dealt with it and think the odd smack does help but modern parents are not allowed to do this. but modern parents are still allowed to give the occasional smack - at least in the UK. Ok, it's not the "sound thrashing" of yesteryear, but the police aren't going to swoop down instantly on a parent who give just enough of a shock so as to stop the unwanted behaviour.

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 18:52

Goodness me head or face is not appropiate at all. The smack situation is such a big thing. In Australia, the courts will tell you that you can smack your child so long as it is par to what has been done - so if they scream in the shop you can tap their bum but you can't smack them across the face. Here it's not too dissimilar - so long as it's not parent v parent in the argument. If a parent smacks their child on the bum or hand, using reasonable force, that will be fine. But not on the head/face and not using an item.

2322

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 18:38

the problem with the smacking law (in NZ any way) is that it's not been laid out clearly so everyone in the country understands it. An amendment was made to a law that allowed people who abused their children to use a loop hole that said they were entitled to use 'reasonable force'. That loop hole is now closed, (thank god) but every lobby group and it's dog has ordinary folk of the country believing that they may not use smacking as discipline any longer. And yet if you look up the law itself, it clearly states in laymens language that you may smack and under what circumstances. probably the most tricky to define is using some measure of force to correct a behaviour, however thats a digression.

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 16:56

Yes I have had my children throw tatrums and yes i dealt with it and think the odd smack does help but modern parents are not allowed to do this. but modern parents are still allowed to give the occasional smack - at least in the UK. Ok, it's not the "sound thrashing" of yesteryear, but the police aren't going to swoop down instantly on a parent who give just enough of a shock so as to stop the unwanted behaviour. Anyhow, seeing your other medical help related posts... it reminded me of another incident with Her Ladyship. She was having a tantrum outside a lift, flat on her back, kicking and screaming and I was crouched down over her trying to get to the bottom of the problem. Anyhow, a very lovely young woman, looking very concerned, asked me if I needed any help. When I smiled and replied "no thanks, we're used to it", she said "are you sure? Should I call a doctor or something?". It took me a few seconds to realise that she thought my daughter was having a proper fit so I reassured her that it was just what it was and we had a little laugh about it... ironically while DD was still doing her thing on the floor!

2322

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 16:24

Theres a big difference though in asking if you can help, to actually actively interfering when you have been told that the person is ok, and that what needs to be done is being done.

596

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EW GURU

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 09:56

These two posts are interesting. People cannot win. Those who ask what is going on as it is not a normal everyday occurence for most people for one to see, in case someone may be harming a childing trying to do the right think by asking and then the parent gets upset. Worse still still is when people do need help no one may help. Tough as the situation was to deal with at the time rather than critize the people who were asking you maybe one could consider they were kind and caring enough to investigate . Yes I have had my children throw tatrums and yes i dealt with it and think the odd smack does help but modern parents are not allowed to do this. Everything too politically correct and raising brats and over competitive people who don't care about others unless forced to. DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly. Others always know best-my son needed suction every 5 minutes the first years of his life so I would lug his oxygen and suction equipment along when I went shopping-lost account of the number of times people physically tried to stop me when I was suctionning him and demanded to know what I was doing to my poor baby-when I asked if they'd prefer I let him die they generally backed off....... not quite as drastic as your baby wuffles but lil miss gets bleeding noses, and they can be quite spectacular. I have lost count of the times I've been told I'm treating it all wrong by passers by. I got so irritated one day with a particularly bad bleed and are particularly persistent woman I did snap and ask her is she'd like me to let daughter choke to death on it. Grrrrr, well meaning yes, but I had explained more than once to her, and quite politely that I knew what I was doing. Lady, I have my hands full here!

CanadianInDXB420

409

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 09:43

I turned and told her to shut up or she'd be next!Love this!

34

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 09:43

Didn't see the OP but it makes a nice change to read so many supportive posts instead of the usual perfect mothers that usually jump on these threads to criticise !! Personally though, if my children played up in public i would have hated anyone to interfere and yes, that includes offering to help...just me i guess but i'd have seen it as them saying i can't cope so i need someone who can do it better !! and btw - don't you just hate comments like "what's wrong with parents today" lol Yes, I agree, it is so nice to see supportive posts. I have been guilty of not offering to help. But not because I didn't want to, it was because of the exact reason you mention. I didn't want the mom to think I was trying to interfere, or for her to think I was trying to show I can do it better. But after reading some of the posts, it's obvious some moms would appreciate an offer of help. Maybe the way to do it is to say something empathetic, like "I know how hard it is" or "I've been there" I mean, after all, I was the best parent in the world. Then I had a child......and I wanted to go and apologise to all the women who I had silently judged in my head LOL

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 09:37

oh, and ps: I had a harness for lil miss too, she embarrassed me thoroughly the first few times she wore it by getting down on hands and knees and barking like as dog, the wee madam. Tears are actually rolling down my face! ROFL!

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EW GURU

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 07:34

oh, and ps: I had a harness for lil miss too, she embarrassed me thoroughly the first few times she wore it by getting down on hands and knees and barking like as dog, the wee madam. oh my....hehe...

238

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 07:29

oh, and ps: I had a harness for lil miss too, she embarrassed me thoroughly the first few times she wore it by getting down on hands and knees and barking like as dog, the wee madam. Love it!

2322

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 07:26

oh, and ps: I had a harness for lil miss too, she embarrassed me thoroughly the first few times she wore it by getting down on hands and knees and barking like as dog, the wee madam.

2322

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 07:19

DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly. Others always know best-my son needed suction every 5 minutes the first years of his life so I would lug his oxygen and suction equipment along when I went shopping-lost account of the number of times people physically tried to stop me when I was suctionning him and demanded to know what I was doing to my poor baby-when I asked if they'd prefer I let him die they generally backed off....... not quite as drastic as your baby wuffles but lil miss gets bleeding noses, and they can be quite spectacular. I have lost count of the times I've been told I'm treating it all wrong by passers by. I got so irritated one day with a particularly bad bleed and are particularly persistent woman I did snap and ask her is she'd like me to let daughter choke to death on it. Grrrrr, well meaning yes, but I had explained more than once to her, and quite politely that I knew what I was doing. Lady, I have my hands full here!

2340

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 06:48

Oh Amy, I didn't mean to make you feel bad! While I obviously didn't express myself clearly enough, I agree with aroha that you "posted in the spirit of sisterhood"... It's just that [u'>I[/u'> would be mortified to read it aired here and would never admit that it was me surrounded by the toddler meltdown/s, but at the same time I'd love the show of support from the lovely women in here.

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 04:10

LOL at all the stories and I did have 1 incident with my DD in a bus where she refused to sit the right way round and I was worried about her banging her chin as the bus bounced along and sucking on the metal rail of the seat. She was 2 and a bit and I was 7 months gone with my DS. It was late July and hot (well hot for a Scottish summer about 24 degrees) and I was at my wits end. This was 1982 before all the anti smacking stuff and I tapped her bare leg to make her do as she was told. She did so and sat down wailing. a middle aged woman loudly condemned my action and I turned and told her to shut up or she'd be next!!!! Guess my hormones were all over the place!!! :D

1996

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 21 March 2011 - 00:13

DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly. Others always know best-my son needed suction every 5 minutes the first years of his life so I would lug his oxygen and suction equipment along when I went shopping-lost account of the number of times people physically tried to stop me when I was suctionning him and demanded to know what I was doing to my poor baby-when I asked if they'd prefer I let him die they generally backed off.......

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 23:25

DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly. It's ridiculous isn't it? There was a time when children and babies wore a harness all the time as the norm, now mothers who put them on are looked at as if they were members of the Gestapo. lol - if I could, I'd harness both my two, attach them to the buggy and get them to pull me along like a small dog-team! Nothing wrong with setting them to work, surely?! lol Gleeky - no-one has ever commented that Her Ladyship will get sick if I leave her prostrate on the floor. I'm not entirely sure what to conclude on that one! lol Still, we seem to be over the mad tantrums now. Guess what worked? Asking her to explain what was bugging her *in words* [smacks forehead'> SIMPLES!

104

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 12:03

Exactly. Hearing someone say, "Oh yeah, mine do that!" makes a huge difference. Or a knowing smile and an offer to help (I had 2 under 2 and a 4 year old - so definitely know how hard it is to manage when shopping).

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 10:52

DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly. It's ridiculous isn't it? There was a time when children and babies wore a harness all the time as the norm, now mothers who put them on are looked at as if they were members of the Gestapo.

vero possumus37927

876

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 10:46

DD never did anything wrong in public, she was terrified of strangers. DS was permanently connected to a 5 point harness until he was able to put it in writing that he would do as he was told. I was ticked off by women who questioned me attaching his harness to the seat at the front of the grocery cart....LIKE HELLLLLLLLLO......this boy can fly.

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 10:45

We had major issues with our almost 3 year old too (thankfully she's calmed down on the tantrums, but still is known to run off like a mad woman). I've never been offered any comfort from passersby, but I have had lots of comments while she sits in time out crying like: "Why do you let her sit on the cold floor, she's going to get sick" or "Don't let her cry, she will get sick." Yes, let me pull over the comfy leather chair from Costa so she can sit in timeout like a princess. That'll show her who's boss. If you aren't going to help, please just shut it and move on! Phewph, glad to get that off my chest. Most of us have been there and completely sympathize. I'd have given you the "look" and "tut tutted" LOL

784

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 10:41

ooh nnooo.... i'm ssoo looking forward to all this...NOT... it's bad enough I get the looks when DD who is only 6 months cry at the pool, apparently she was extremely tired from swimming and became super cranky for nap time..... nice... lol <em>edited by shjbelle on 20/03/2011</em>

gleekfamily24043

481

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 10:21

We had major issues with our almost 3 year old too (thankfully she's calmed down on the tantrums, but still is known to run off like a mad woman). I've never been offered any comfort from passersby, but I have had lots of comments while she sits in time out crying like: "Why do you let her sit on the cold floor, she's going to get sick" or "Don't let her cry, she will get sick." Yes, let me pull over the comfy leather chair from Costa so she can sit in timeout like a princess. That'll show her who's boss. If you aren't going to help, please just shut it and move on! Phewph, glad to get that off my chest. Most of us have been there and completely sympathize.

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:29

Never had these issues with mine. LOL

36

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:22

Just this weekend, I was at one of the shops buying shoes for my 2 DDs. And the LO (2 years) decided she did not want to try them on. And to manifest this, she decided to sit on the floor of this big, quite busy shop, and starting screaming, and crying very loudly, and hitting her feet on the floor. I did not even insist on the shoes. It was mortifying. You should have seen the oh-look-at-that-bad-mom looks, and the my-children-would-never-do-that ones. Well, maybe the OP was talking about me! At points, and I am not the supermom who excels at everything, I just don't know what to do. PS: This incident does not even come close to the last one that happened few months ago..... in the plane. I wantes to jump, but did not find the way out!

298

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 09:20

well, I didn't see the original post, but you know what, if I'd been there, I would have offered some help... and maybe even ushered her off for a coffee afterwards. This is from someone whose DD's last major public tantrum drew spectators and when, through hyperventilating screams, she indicated that she was then going to wet herself in the middle of the passageway, saw me, with 13kg of DS unceremoniously rugby-balled under one arm, drag DD along to the toilets (she refused to walk), again screaming to the extent that a security guard loitered outside, presumably to make sure that I wasn't actually killing her. Out of all the staring bystanders, NOT ONE offered to help out, not even to hold DS's hand when he was trying to run away. I can tell you right now, that if any one of them had muttered that I was a bad mum at that point, I would have told them that they can deal with it and gladly walked off. If any of you out there have a tantrumming child in a public place and a brunette 30-something gives you a sympathetic smile... it's me. GREAT post :)

3901

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 20 March 2011 - 08:56

Didn't see the OP but it makes a nice change to read so many supportive posts instead of the usual perfect mothers that usually jump on these threads to criticise !! Personally though, if my children played up in public i would have hated anyone to interfere and yes, that includes offering to help...just me i guess but i'd have seen it as them saying i can't cope so i need someone who can do it better !! and btw - don't you just hate comments like "what's wrong with parents today" lol

596

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EW GURU

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 22:35

Reading this has made me smile , gosh i know how you must have been , have been there in similar situations. Unfortunately people won't intervene as most of the time it would be frowned upon . Its a shame as a village raises children ( or used to ) not just a parent and if we all helped one another more the world would be such a better place. well, I didn't see the original post, but you know what, if I'd been there, I would have offered some help... and maybe even ushered her off for a coffee afterwards. This is from someone whose DD's last major public tantrum drew spectators and when, through hyperventilating screams, she indicated that she was then going to wet herself in the middle of the passageway, saw me, with 13kg of DS unceremoniously rugby-balled under one arm, drag DD along to the toilets (she refused to walk), again screaming to the extent that a security guard loitered outside, presumably to make sure that I wasn't actually killing her. Out of all the staring bystanders, NOT ONE offered to help out, not even to hold DS's hand when he was trying to run away. I can tell you right now, that if any one of them had muttered that I was a bad mum at that point, I would have told them that they can deal with it and gladly walked off. If any of you out there have a tantrumming child in a public place and a brunette 30-something gives you a sympathetic smile... it's me.

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 19 March 2011 - 22:29

well, I didn't see the original post, but you know what, if I'd been there, I would have offered some help... and maybe even ushered her off for a coffee afterwards. This is from someone whose DD's last major public tantrum drew spectators and when, through hyperventilating screams, she indicated that she was then going to wet herself in the middle of the passageway, saw me, with 13kg of DS unceremoniously rugby-balled under one arm, drag DD along to the toilets (she refused to walk), again screaming to the extent that a security guard loitered outside, presumably to make sure that I wasn't actually killing her. Out of all the staring bystanders, NOT ONE offered to help out, not even to hold DS's hand when he was trying to run away. I can tell you right now, that if any one of them had muttered that I was a bad mum at that point, I would have told them that they can deal with it and gladly walked off. If any of you out there have a tantrumming child in a public place and a brunette 30-something gives you a sympathetic smile... it's me.

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His Highness Sheikh Mohammed announces 3 best UAE government departments

Pictured: His Highness Sheikh Mohammed at a UAE Cabinet meeting.

H.H Sheikh Mohammed Ranks 3 Best & Worst UAE Government Departments

New 10-Year UAE Residency Visa for Dubai Content Creators and Influencers

There's a 10-Year UAE Residency Visa for Dubai Content Creators and Influencers

Breakfast with penguins at Ski Dubai Mall of the Emirates

You Can Now Enjoy Breakfast With Penguins in Dubai

How to convert another country's drivers license in Dubai

How to Convert a Non-UAE Driving License in Dubai: A Complete Guide

Registrations open for EYFS curriculum Willow Children's Nursery in Dubai

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Outdoor cinemas in Dubai for the winter season 2024

The Best Outdoor Cinemas in Dubai to See Open-Air Movies This Winter

Executive Hospitality Programme at South View School in Dubai

Introducing the Executive Hospitality Programme at South View School Dubai

Expat legal consultants in the UAE | Dr. Hassan Elhais

Meet Dr. Hassan Elhais: A Pillar of Legal Expertise for Expats in the UAE

Saray Spa promotions at JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai

This Luxury Dubai Spa Has Some of the Very Best Breaks To Escape To

A Complete Guide How to Get an Influencer License in Dubai and UAE

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