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Someone just crossed the line, and I'm not letting it go

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1170

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 17:27

I did talk with the deputy of junior school, as he says it's serious accusation!! Gone throw the situation and the teacher in question at start said she didn't say that, and once confronted with her, I told her the exact conversation between me and her, and then she said she is sorry for whatever offended me! for posters thinking it's not a problem to be mistaken for the help or nanny, it's clearly a statement from someone to tell" you are different and less than others" and want to tell these posters: count your blessings that you haven't reduced to be a second class human.... You may not think of it, but you aren't a woman of colour to know this micro aggression. Let's just say that this new teacher to this land, is now aware she can't say that to anyone, she is made aware that she won't get away with it, not a parent, driver, nanny, or a maid will endour this treatment... Like me or hate me, I might stand corrected, but I made that teacher aware these antics can't be and won't be ok... And yes, she did appologys, as I told her my children are witnesses on the whole incedent. Thanks ladies and thank you for supporting my rant.

ThirdCultureFamily

138

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 17:13

I complete disagree with Redrec Tangle and Cheeky Monkey. OP correct me if I'm wrong but the offense is not taken at being told off, it's at being told "as the nanny of these children..." There is a racial undertone when you say something like that, especially if you are assuming the person is the nanny or the maid. There's nothing wrong with being either one of those professions, it's the assumption that you are one based completely on how you look. It's a racial stereotype and it's offensive. Of course you can catch anyone on a bad day and teachers have an exceptionally hard job with long hours (and are definitely not meant to be babysitting after hours...we all know they have more work afterschool like grading papers). So if I was told off by a teacher for being late, I would take my lumps and move on (even if it was my first time). The fact that this teacher admonished OP with a racial stereotype is not OK...even if she didn't explicitly mean to do that, it's what happened. And just because you are frequently mistaken as something doesn't make it OK. I'm frequently mistaken as a different ethnicity (and even questioned when I state I am 100% Japanese), doesn't mean it's not offensive when said the wrong way.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 16:10

If you are not a chronic late offender then the teacher was definitely wrong to chastise; but I will let it go if the teacher is usually a good/nice smiley one - maybe you just caught her on a particularly bad day. However, why do you think an apology is in order if you are thought of as a nanny - is it that bad of a thing to think of someone? Especially if - as you say - you are frequently mistaken for one - then surely this teacher was just making the same mistake so many others have done and can't be singled out for it. Is that really being defined by you as bad treatment? Me thinks this thread divulged not only teachers hidden double standards but yours too.

858

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EW GURU

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 15:51

Not saying what the teacher did was right, but just to get a fuller picture, how late were you and did you ring the school to let them know you were going to be late? And just a personal opinion, but it is irrelevant if you are thought to be the nanny or the parent, it is still your "job" to pick up children at the correct time. I am sure the teacher barely registered what colour you were and is just fed up of "carers" rocking up late with a casual apology. I am sure your lateness and apology were genuine, but I am sure many are repeat offenders. Please remember teachers are human too, they educate our children for usually poor pay and they have grumpy, snappy days too where they have just had to deal with one too many late stays due to late carers. Please don't take it too personally, we have all snapped at someone at some time and felt we were right at the time.

2264

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 14:01

That's shocking and truly appalling behaviour. No one has the right to make judgement like that, let alone comment on it or say it to your face. You should 100% complain to the school.

ThirdCultureFamily

138

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 January 2016 - 14:00

You absolutely have a right to be ****** off. I would definitely write to her superior and unleash on them. She was talking down to you based on an assumption (like skin color, ethnicity, etc). She may have never said anything to you if she knew you as the parent...but her supposition that you were "the help" made it OK in her world to talk that way to you. It's not OK whether you were "the help" or a parent. Imagine...maids, drivers, and nannies get this kind of treatment all the time. It is one of the ugliest social traits we see rampant in the UAE.

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