DD unsettled every evening - any ideas?

sorry if that last post was a bit unsolicited. ;) as far as remembering which side you last fed on, you can put a hair tie on your wrist and switch it to the side you are feeding on, so you know which to start on next, but I wouldn't worry too much about that stuff, just don't limit her and always offer both breasts each feed, stating with the one that feels most "full" or if she still has latching issues, start with the one she prefers. :)

I mean I'm trying to wake the lazy little toad up three-hourly if she hasn't woken anyway ;). Sometimes she goes four to five hours without feeding, usually in the middle of the night (which I am most definitely grateful for). I checked this with her doctor and she says it's OK, although I wasn't sure. Last night was totally different again. She was fine all evening, fed and settled, but wouldn't settle after I fed her at midnight. So I just lay her on my chest and patted her and in the end - 3.30am - she was properly asleep, with two feeds in between times. I know I'm overreacting and probably panicking about nothing, but extended sleep disruption and deprivation was a huge part of my PND with DS and I'm totally terrified of it happening this time round. I already have PND again, unfortunately, but this time I've been to the doctor and am now on medication so hopefully I'll start to feel better soon and then I'll be able to relax more about sleep and routines :(. Sound like you are on track with the feeding then, yes its fine to let her go up to 5 hours once in a 24 hour period so long as she makes it up in the rest of the day. (and obviously I mean in the situation you describe, not as in ignoring hunger cues for 5 hours) I forgot you had mentioned PND before, makes sense now why you are feeling like this. What you are craving is a sense of certainty and control and of course thats the opposite of what you get when the little angels arrive ;). Very hard to deal with even without the PND. Not surprising you are worried about going back into a dark place but you are so much better equipped this time and so is/are your DH and other family and friends. Fantastic that you have seen the early signs and been proactive, and probably the BF safe meds will nip it in the bud. On the off chance they don't, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to find some that do help, even if it means giving up breastfeeding (and you know I'm a staunch supporter of BF) but for now try to focus and remember that all babies are different, there is no reason to believe that your daughter will be the same as your son and that right now there is nothing concerning about the way she is sleeping or eating. Hopefully you are also seeing a good therapist who can give you coping strategies to stop you obsessing over the routine and help you deal with worries due to past trauma. At a few weeks old she will not fit a schedule, no matter how hard you try, even top researcher like Dr Weissbluth assert that set patterns don't develop until closer to the 4 month mark. Don't put extra pressure on yourself, just let yourself give your baby what you feel she needs, when she needs it. Make sure you are resting enough, (that means very early nights) and try and get a little daylight each day especially if you re in an apartment, as the feeling of isolation can be strong in the beginning. You seem pragmatic, and able to detach yourself from your situation, people like that generally "cope" well with anxiety based disorders, but also mask it a little too well/try and do it alone, so its a blessing and a curse, don't be afraid to reach for help the moment you feel yourself slipping. xx

From what i can gather your baby came early? Would she still be in the womb if she went full term? The wee dote is still very small and you should enjoy the cuddles because they get so big so fast. My baby is 4 wks and feeds every 2.5 hours, sometimes more in the evening from 8pm. I downloaded an app on my iphone that keeps track of side and duration, then it also gives total duration for the day which is about 2.5 hrs of milk feed. I EBF no expressing yet. Enjoy the evening time with the other LO has gone to bed with baby, thats what i do as i have 2 other kids, i did the same previously. I am not caught up by the clock or routines by books but have our own , the baby has to fit in with us as we still have to do 3 school runs a day and clubs after school. Sleep when you can and dont stress yourself about things they fall into place and this is only for about 8 wks (that's what i tell myself) eta - my baby was 2 wks early and they need to feel secure xxxx Ask yourself what your expectations are? are they achievable? do they need to be relaxed? it's not the end of the world All wee babies are individuals and soooo gorgeous xxxx Give yourself a big hug as your doing a great job. xxxxxxxx <em>edited by blinkthink on 18/11/2011</em>

Two and a half weeks? She still thinks she's in the womb and is figuring things out...Both mine did exactly the same thing. I just found it easier to put them in a wrap/sling in the evening when they would fuss and cry if in their bed. They'd then doze and be quite happy until about 10 or 11 when they'd have a good sleep. And i think at that age and for a good few weeks the best thing in the long term was to make them feel secure. It also stressed me out so much more trying to settle them for hours on end than just accepting the fact that I needed to meet their needs. I think it was about at the six- eight week mark maybe that I was more consistent with sitting next to their bed/cot and soothing them to sleep with the shush/pat/ hand on belly routine when they woke up in evenings unsettled. It took about 2 weeks of going in and out, but then they'd be quite happy going back down if they woke up and our 'routine' was set (until the next glitch anyway....!)

LOL, you are absolutely jumping the gun, just soothe her in the evening until she learns her days from nights, she def doesn't need formula. Why don't you try going to bed next to her for the next week and patting or feeding her back to sleep the second she stirs. You need the extra sleep too! Dubaimamans post is full of good advice too. You might be better not trying to stretch to 3 hourly feeding if she wants it sooner, since you do want to get as many calories in by day as possible and build a good supply, with BM many babies need to feed more often than that.

I'm sorry ladies I haven't read the other replies (at work!) but here's what I learned from my experience with DD1 who was like that...till 5am daily! I had learned my lesson by the time I had DD2 and nipped it in the bud at 4 days old! First off, babies need x amount of calories per day. If they are asleep most of the day and not drinking enough, they will need to feed very often (every hour/1.5 in my case) during the night. This means more upset stomachs because they don't finish digesting the milk before they want to feed again, and it creates havoc in their tiny tummies (digested milk, partially digested milk, with another dose of fresh milk on top of it will make them colicky). So make sure you feed your little darling as much as possible during the day, even if it means waking her from her sleep. I did this every 2 hours 15 minutes if I remember correctly. It helped that I expressed (cracked nipples) so I knew exactly how much she was getting, and she didn't drift into dreamland as quickly as she would have on the breast. Secondly, if your DD is used to being asleep all day and awake all night, then even if you get her settled, her eyes will open wide the second your put her down in her bed/cot/.. I read somewhere that you need to teach babies to sleep at night (they are used to kicking and dancing while you were asleep). So if it means carrying them for 2 hours to make sure they actually get some shut-eye, then do so. That will get them used to sleeping in the night time and be more wakeful in the day-time, and adjust their clock. Now I know people say that babies shouldn't get used to being carried etc etc..but apparently babies don't start those dependencies so early on. It worked with me. I'm sorry I can't remember when they start getting "used to" rocking/carrying etc, probably after 6 weeks. So get a bed-time routine going, give her a warm bath and she will soon be sleeping at night and more wakeful in the day-time. Third problem may be over-excitement from her bath, or from her day. Make sure you don't let her get too tired, or have too many people handling her. Also I noticed that long trips (anything more than an hour or 2 outside the house) would get her exhausted. And babies won't settle if they are over-tired. If her bath gets her excited, then move it a little earlier or even to the morning. My MIL - God bless her soul she helped me a lot - would insist on carrying DD1 from her bed whenever she opened 1 eye at 9pm. She would start playing with her and getting all excited. That was a disaster. DD1 got used to playing at 9pm daily so she woke up to play. When MIL left, I would keep DD1 in bed and keep lights low, and within a few days she learned to sleep through until her "dream feed", which was also low-key, low lights, etc. With DD2, MIL again thought that if she was unsettled, it meant she needed rocking etc. I took matters into my own hands. I took DD2 into the room, put her next to me on the bed, held her hand and turned off the lights. She was falling asleep within 15 minutes tops. And I kept her in the room with the monitor while we were in the living room. MIL wondered why I didn't bring her moses basket out - too much light and noise. I wanted to get DD used to sleeping in the quiet and the dark! Thanks goodness I had some sense to push back. And thank God MIL still loves and respects me:p Hope this helps!

Ah DC...I SO hear you. Could it be as simple as needing an earlier bedtime? My middle girl was exactly the same, and as soon as I tried an earlier bedtime (6pm for her), problem solved. If they are overtired, they sometimes just cannot get into a deep, relaxed sleep. I have my fingers firmly crossed it's sorted easily for you. xxx

Dubaicat - I was having the exact same thing. My 7 week old DD follows the EASY routine from morning all through until when I put her down for her sleep at 8pm .... All day she eats, plays and sleeps with no problem but come 9pm she wakes up from her sleep and will not go back down. We tried everything! Last night I had a slight break through - usually she feeds, plays, has bath time and then I walk her to sleep and then put her down and when she wakes up at 9pm I assume she needs help trying to go back to sleep so I rock her, walk her, and i thought maybe she wants to be awake so i played with her and so on but even though she dozes she won't sleep in her crib. Anyway last night I picked her straight up and fed her again and she was half feeding and half using me as a dummy for comfort and after about 30 mins she fell asleep on me and I didn't move her and she slept through until 4am. I tried to give her a dream feed at 11.30 pm just before I put her down and I went to bed but she wasnt very interested. Maybe your LO wants some comfort and tk be close to you during those hours? Im not sure how old your LO is but mine is 7 weeks and I think it's OK to give them whatever comfort they need to help them be calm and feel secure but I'm not very experienced so I might be totally wrong and creating a bad habit! Anyway let's see what happens tongigh .... :\:

Right on cue, after a feed at 7.30, no more sleeping baby :(. We pick her up, snuggle her, try a dummy... she nods off then something wakes her up! She wouldn't settle till gone 11 last night. With another good feed in the middle of all this. And if I try and feed her more often, she sucks but isn't feeding so I'm the dummy :(. She sleeps like a log during the day, pretty much all the time she isn't feeding. And we don't bath her regularly yet as she seems to hate it. Should we start? DC, if she's not in pain, but just awake it could just be because she has had enough sleep during the day. I know its hard, but the best solution for that is to sleep when she's sleeping so you are awake when she is and don't turn into a zombie in the near future. It is good to bath her at night, not full on, until her cord has dried out and fallen off, but a splash of warm water will help settle her for the night and babies love a good rub. Try the night ones with the lavender in. I know they bath the babies in the mornings while they are in hospitals, beats me, and that is why they sleep so much after that for almost all day. Definitely try to switch to evening bath times. If she is in pain however, it could be colic. My DS had colic and would cry for sometimes 3 hours on end around the same time every night. Colic aid or disflatyl usually solved that problem. Initially anyway. Good luck xx

no I wouldn't bath her if she doesn't like it, a top and tail is fine. I used to bath DS outdoors in the morning as a newborn although it might be getting too cold for that now. A wee sunbathe and sponge-down might help with shifting her body clock so she wants more evening sleep.

Is she getting enough day sleep, maybe slightly overtired by that point, or is she eating enough, needing to cluster feed.....? There are a million theories on the cause of "colic" and I mean colic as in a very unsettled period each day as you describe, not as in gas/wind. They range from gastric distress to brain immaturity, sleep disorder etc etc. The only consensus is that it peaks at 6 weeks and resolves by around 4 months. Maybe buy a baby-bjorm or a sling and just wear her for a few hours in the evening???

Anything that could help over here? I wrote a similar post when DD was about the same age! http://www.expatwoman.com/abudhabi/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=131679&Page=1 Something else to maybe check as well - What is the temperature like when you bath her? Is the window open? Is the A/C on? With the temps much lower at bath time, the change in temperature can affect them and make them extra fussy if the room is not warm enough. At this age, they are not able to regulate their body temperature so it can make them very unsettled! Could this maybe be a factor? We had not thought of thus, until Cecile mentioned it! I was bathing Y with the window open (in Dec/Jan) and could not for he life of me figure out why she went into a frenzy the minute i took her out of the bath water!? As soon as we heated the room up - no more screaming! Something this small, but i was in such a spin, my fuzzy little brain did not think of it ;) HTH

I can't offer any advice unfortunately but I have a similar problem ..... My DD goes down at 8pm after bath and feed and then like clockwork wakes up at 9pm and then will not settle for the night until 12-1am. She spends those hours fussing, playing, smiling, feeding, crying, yelling .... And she will doze off a couple of times if I'm holding her or taking her for a walk but as soon as I try to put her in her crib she wakes up within 5 minutes. From 1am she sleeps until around 9am - she was waking only once in-between that period at about 5am but over the past few days she has been wakes twice usually around 4am and 7am .... And it seems she has trapped gas as she is struggling and kicking and then finally let's out a few farts. Then I'll feed her and she goes back to sleep! I understand the wakings in the night whether its hunger or gas or whatever but why on earth does she wake at 9pm and refuse to sleep until 1am?! Any thoughts?

Colic? DS had this and from 5pm to midnight he would scream unless on b@@b. Is she upset or just awake?

Mine at that age had a witching hour at 6pm every night without fail, when she just cried and cried for no reason, no amount of cuddling or bouncing/walking whilst holding her worked - she eventually grew out of it - I can't remember when exactly. I have a theory that in the evening, when the lights are switched on, the way the infant is held horizontally in the arms means that they are staring straight into the glare of the naked light bulbs which might be what's bothering them....but I have no idea whether this is true, just a thought I had at the time when DD wouldn't stop crying. <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 15/11/2011</em>