I need some advise please!

Oops, u deleted your thread! So in answer to your question about should you have a baby now, at 28yrs, when you and your DH are ready, or should you wait, so as not to deprive your family.....here is my take on it....

Never an easy decision... My husband and I left for a '2' year assignment overseas, 15 years ago! So if we had put off having children until we returned 'home', our son would never have been born. In an age of skype, facebook, etc Grandparents can be involved, and it makes those face-to-face visits all the more special when they happen. Our son has a wonderful relationship with his grandparents, back at 'home' and we see them more than my siblings do that live in-country. Lets face it, you don't have 'grandchildren', you have your children, so I would suggest doing what is right for your husband and yourself, as you never know what the future holds.

While I have not been in the same situation, I can possibly help with the benefit of life experience/maturity. I have a a 5 & 3 yr old and am due to have #3 in a few weeks.... Both my kids were born here and I've been here quite a long time. I really do not feel you should ever put your life on hold for anyone. If you and your DH are ready for having children, then go for it! I'm sure your family will be thrilled for you and you will find a way around the whole visiting, communication etc thing. While its always wonderful to have a close relationship with extended family, you can nurture it in other ways to keep the child and grandparents connected - talking about them often, photos, phone calls, Skype, letters, special little parcels, long summer holidays etc. I really don't think children remember much before the age of 3, so for them, it's not really an issue. As for your parents, while they may feel a little sad or wistful at the thought of not having regular hands on contact, I'm sure they would be horrified that you would think of delaying having a baby for their benefit. They would never expect that and if they did, that is unhealthy. I usually go home over summer for about 2 months and stay with my parents (who I have a very close relationship with). While its lovely to be with them and to have special times, it is also quite stressful for them and for me. The whole change in routine, out of our normal environment, away from regular friends and just having to live in someone else's home and be considerate of them and their belongings... it's not easy, and when time is up, we are ready to come back and they are ready to wave goodbye with a sign of relief!! We all have rosy ideas as to how things will be when we have kids, but to be honest, it's not always like that. I have come to realise that my parents are quite set in their ways and seem a bit old and I don't think they could handle too much contact with the kids, although they love them to bits. I've had other friends say similar things. You never know what is destined for you - how easy it will be to have children, fertility issues, your own health, job security, life expectancy of yourself and loved ones etc. So life your life now is what I say! Hope this helps a little.