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My mum is going to be a granny - and she is TOO excited

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3901

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 16:14

what a sad thread - so much negativity.. congrats to the OP - having a baby really is an exciting time, not just for the parents-to-be but the whole family.. sorry, but so many selfish, ungrateful and thoughtless comments here.. i envy the OP - neither my own mother nor MIL got involved in my pregnancies or resulting babies. Our eldest has stayed with grandparents 3 times (and one of those was while i was in hospital having his brother) and our youngest never. I'd have loved for them to have spent more time with us after the births, or any time.. Please OP (and anyone else in the same position), try putting yourself in your mother's shoes - she's just thrilled and letting her bond properly with your baby will be the best thing you can do for both of them (IMHO).

5452

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 15:43

Personally, I think it is great to have a mother around with a newborn, even if she is a meddler. My mother came here for the birth of my second and was a great help. Unfortunately, she cannot come for the birth of my third child because of the heat (due in June) so I envy those of you who have visiting mothers.

4062

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 14:58

Hi Nimonemo When I had my first we told our parents that we wanted a month after the birth to find our feet and after that they were welcome to come and stay. It didn't go down well at all but we insisted and for us, it was definitely the best decision. The first few weeks after a new baby are a magical but exhausting time and we really appreciated the space to get to know our daughter and discover our own way of doing things. For some people, having their parents there is of great help but for us, it just would have driven us nuts. It also meant that when my mother arrived when my daughter was a month old that I was happy to see her and grateful for an extra pair of hands and some advice rather than resentful and anxious about her being there. My MIL, well she still managed to drive me nuts within minutes of arriving with comments like 'what are you doing, why are you holding her like that, don't touch her...etc etc etc. Argh! I've now got 3 kids and for each of them I've really appreciated a bit of time and space to get to know our newest little treasure.

1575

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 13:08

My Mum was a great help to me for both my children, She was there before, during and after and she was such a great support. It's my MIL I wouldn't let near us!

270

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 13:00

Thanks ladies, I feel better now knowing that I am not the only one. I think I will stick to my ideas and let her know in the best possible way... The reality is that I need her, and I really want her to enjoy her new role. Thanks very much for your comments :)

9

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 10:53

First of all congratulations. My mum was exactly the same with our eldest Cadence and her first granddaughter, in fact she was even the same with our 2nd daughter teagan who was born in summer. We made a point of whilst i was pregnant that we appreciated her suggestions but they are our daughters and we wouldnt be underminded with how we raise them. She still tries now and again to do it but we always put her in her place and she has now started to respect that we are the parents and what we say goes with the kids.

911

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 10:44

Do it your way this time, you'll get over the excitement by number 2. I find this such an incredibly sad comment. I have 2 children - both were exciting in terms of anticipation, birth the lot. My husband is the youngest of 8 and his mum didn't even take baby pictures of him as she said ''by the 8th you don't bother'' I couldn't imagine becoming blase about having a child, let alone giving him/her to my mother to raise

139

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 10:36

Hi Nimonemo, I'm facing a similar dilema with my mum. I'm due in 5 weeks and mum and dad have been staying with us over Christmas. They leave on the 13th but my dad suggested mum stays until the birth and then a month afterwards...which i politely declined. I've tried not to hurt mum's feelings but have said i'd like at least a month to get into a routine. As much as she say's she'll let me do things the way i want, she also has strong opinions and constantly refers to what she did with us as babies....35years ago! She's only trying to be helpful but i know this would begin to really grind on me. Also, with names, we've not told anyone. EVERYONE has an opinion on names so when the baby is born we'll announce the name and everyone can like it or lump it. It's no one elses business. It's just easier not to tell people. anyway, Good luck with everything and hope you manage to get some time just you and baby before your mum arrives.

624

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 January 2012 - 10:20

Hi Nimonemo, congratulations on your pregnancy! I think you are wise to be cautious about your mum's intervention. At the rate she's going, she'll be considering your child hers, not yours, and that could lead to all sorts of problems. With regard to her coming to help out, my view is that it is essential that you and your husband get into your own routine and ways of doing things before she arrives. The situation I've seen work best is where after the baby is born, mum and dad work as a team to get into a routine, then when dad goes back to work, grandmother then comes to support, because its that time when mum will need the help more, when she's tired and on her own. Sell it to your mum as being the time when she can help you the most and how much you will need her etc etc. Good luck!

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