Sick of negativity! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Sick of negativity!

179
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 March 2013 - 20:38

I'm probably the last of my friends/in laws/whatever to have a baby. I'm 28 and so excited and feel really ready for a baby, did my travelling already, crossed everything off my 'to do list' and now its time. But every time a friend/relative/etc asks about my pregnancy and i say its great, bla bla, cant wait, all i get in return is the following:

"you have no idea how hard it is! You'll see! You think it's so easy! She'll only be out a few weeks and you'll wish you could put her back in your stomach. Hope you're enjoying your sleep now coz you won't be seeing it for many months! Hope you enjoyed your last holiday coz there's no travelling with small kids. My one was a nightmare this week, it's all ahead of you!" and so much more!

Does anyone brag about the joys of motherhood anymore? I feel so depressed talking to these people! ugh!

Rant over :)

179
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 22:29
I really loved all your replies and am smiling broadly and feel great now. i thought it was just me and i was starting to wonder if people close to me thought i couldnt do it! Didnt know everyone gets these stupid comments! Im so looking forward to my baby girl, im expecting it to be so hard but so wonderful, being pregnant has been wonderful also and im the happiest ive ever been. Thank you all for your really wonderful comments, your babies/children are lucky to have you xxxx
2782
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 20:40
When you get the negative comments, simply ask " so do you regret having kids then?" And those same people will immediately wax lyrical about how much they love being a parent. The truth is parenting is hard work, physically and mentally challenging in a way that you don't fully understand before having kids. I guess your friends are trying to help prepare you for that.
1575
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 10:45
I fell pregnant when I was 28. Had my first at 29. It's the best time to have children IMHO because you are mature enough but also young enough to remain very active with them.
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 10:02
Don't worry MrsAbdalla, it really is fantastic and you really will be so happy. Yes it can be hard and yes you will be tired but that doesn't mean your happiness will be diminished one bit. I'm sitting here with my beautiful newborn baby sleeping in my arms, I'm exhausted but so what? I couldn't be happier. React to the negativity with positivity and keep smiling :)
54
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 09:24
Hi MrsAbdalla Don't listen to anyone, I was married at the same age as you and like you got pregnant straightaway even though my family told me to wait atleast a year but both me and my husband wanted kids and alhumdulliah my son is the best thing in my life. I'm in dubai on my own with just my husband, we don't have a maid or nanny and I wouldn't have it any other way. Everytime my son smiles at me i stop and thank god for his little blessing. Yes there will be sleepless nights and your baby might throw up on you and ruin 5 abayas in the space of an hour but you don't care because its your child and all you want to do is make your child feel better. My advice to you is to not listen to any of these people you need to enjoy the last month of your pregnancy so just sourround yourself with postive people and to all those that say your life is over, how silly. Yes you make some adjustments but we take our son everywhere and i suppose we are lucky in the sense we have a baby that likes meeting new people, falls asleep in the car and sleeps in resturants even with live music playing but when he is having a off day you simply change your plans and put him first. Sorry for the long reply but it just made me feel bad for you and i agree no one says how great motherhood is now when you tell them your pregnant, although i must have sold it well as both my sister in law and sister have also had babies and they have been married a lot longer tha me :) . Anyway take care and all the best for you and your little one.
94
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 09:08
I got a few negative remarks too and initially it made me doubt my decision but then I turned it around and when someone said something, I turned it on them 'are you saying you regret having your children? You don't like your children? Are you saying you got pregnant without being ready?! It soon usually shuts them up. If I was pregnant and 16yrs old I would understand but we are grown women:)
65
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 07:41
I'm soon to be married and I know Im not leaving the honeymoon suit till Im pregnant, we are so excited to start a family. But when friends/ inlaws with kids hear about our plans all I get is negative remarks. "noooo..... kids are such a headache" "you should never have them, they are such a pain" "sleepless nights blah blah"... my response is " I know what lies ahead and I'm excited, some people are meant to have kids and some are not !!! " I hate it when I get negative comments about wanting to start a family or how my body will get deformed and streached after i deliver or whatever else they like to throw my way!! all I can say is I'm soooooo happy for you and your new adventure and I'm sure you will love every moment of life with your new family! I'm jelous ;) but I'll be joing the adventure of motherhood very soon and cant wait !!
299
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 07:39
Ditto with everyone else here! I had my son 2 yrs ago, when I was 27. And I got the same comments as you: life over- no more travelling- no more sleep ect... ect... It was in one ear and out the other. My mom gave me fantastic advice right before I gave birth: don't become a part of the babies life- make your child become a part of your life. Some may or may not agree with this statement but it worked for me and my husband. We have a baby so what? We still travel, and we travel frequently, we still go out (i have never once left my child at home), I have no maid. Yes I did the sleepless nights, but it goes by so fast and before you know it, your baby isn't a baby anymore. Parenthood is a frame of mind, if you set yourself up to dread it- you will. If you choose to enjoy it then you will. It's simple. My son has been a blessing in my life and he's never impeded me from doing anything I wanted to. I thank God for him everyday...
2
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 March 2013 - 01:35
Don't listen to negativity about parenthood. You have so much to look forward to! Good Luck with your delivery!! Once you get home & adjusted with your baby everything will work out fine.....You will experience Love like you never have before :)
179
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 March 2013 - 22:30
Please don't let anyone take the joy of parenthood away from you. Smile back at all the Negative Nellies and say "I know I know but you know what I am soooooooo happy".Live in the moment not a soul can predict what lies ahead,yes life will change but ask any moms on here, it is so worth it..... All the very best :) thanks so much Nomad :) im so excited i feel im gonna burst! been the longest 8 months of my life :D
1601
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 11 March 2013 - 21:29
Please don't let anyone take the joy of parenthood away from you. Smile back at all the Negative Nellies and say "I know I know but you know what I am soooooooo happy".Live in the moment not a soul can predict what lies ahead,yes life will change but ask any moms on here, it is so worth it..... All the very best :)
179
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 March 2013 - 21:26
Hiya MrsAbdalla... I got the exact same when i was pregnant...people said my life was ruined now and so on, maybe bcos i got pregnant litterally the day i got married and didn't tick anything of my to do list...everyone told me its going to be tough... Its far from ruined my life, its been the best experience of my life...i would rather be with my little angel than on any holiday.... Sleepless nights depends on the child....i had only 2months pf sleepness nights, she has been sleeping through ever since, yes i had to be be strong and i've had to let her cry it out abit, but that lasted three days and she has settled....8pm-7am straight at seven months....everyone is so shocked at what i have managed to doon my own.... I'd say just take no notice, definitely prepare yourself because it is life changing but you only make it as difficult as you want it to be....you do go through stages when its difficult but who doesn't, we do that as adults too. All the best hun Xx Aw thanks for that! I'm the same, got pregnant on my wedding but we both wanted to start a family straight away. I can't see what's the point of life without children and i certainly know it's not going to be easy, it will be hard but everything in life worth having is not achieved easily. Every time one of my friend's kids acts up in front of me they say "it's all ahead of you!" with a stupid smirk. I sarcastically replied to one that if it was as bad and horrible as they make it out to be no one would ever have kids but yet they do! just for once when i say i cant wait i wish someone replied "it's fantastic and you'll be so happy". It's gotten so bad im afraid to tell people im excited and nearly want to pretend im dreading it! LOL. Your answer was just what i needed to hear, thanks hun :*
253
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 March 2013 - 21:01
Hiya MrsAbdalla... I got the exact same when i was pregnant...people said my life was ruined now and so on, maybe bcos i got pregnant litterally the day i got married and didn't tick anything of my to do list...everyone told me its going to be tough... Its far from ruined my life, its been the best experience of my life...i would rather be with my little angel than on any holiday.... Sleepless nights depends on the child....i had only 2months pf sleepness nights, she has been sleeping through ever since, yes i had to be be strong and i've had to let her cry it out abit, but that lasted three days and she has settled....8pm-7am straight at seven months....everyone is so shocked at what i have managed to doon my own.... I'd say just take no notice, definitely prepare yourself because it is life changing but you only make it as difficult as you want it to be....you do go through stages when its difficult but who doesn't, we do that as adults too. All the best hun Xx
 
 

ON EXPATWOMAN TODAY