Woman 2 Woman - Hiding behind a smile

Posted on

16 May 2016

| Last updated on 18 May 2016

Hiding behind a smile

Remember when a kid’s first tooth falls out? The excitement, pure ecstasy of it. Could we ever feel that way about our first wrinkle or grey hair. Afterall, they both mark the fact we are indeed getting older.

At our youngest, we know but two things, we cry, and then we learn to smile. In that order. I remember the first time my own darling daughter smiled. It was Happiness, as if I’d never known it before that moment.

But, what to say of her cry? Truth be told I found it unpleasant, something to be avoided. But as she has grown, so has her lesson to me. Our cries are as important as our laughs, letting them out is to be embraced. Nothing will stop my little one from displaying exactly how she feels no matter our setting. I’ve learned that this ability is part of her beauty and essential to her health, and something I hope matures but is never ever suppressed.

When did we unlearn this free spirited uninhibited behavior? With health, fitness and well-being becoming more and more popular, so should emotional health. We often discuss how hard we have become on ourselves, set on an unwinnable race for perfection, success, popularity and such. We leave no room for what we are at our most natural; we are imperfect, we feel things, and we need one another, more than we need to compete with one another.

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What was it that bothered me about my child, being a child. Why was I irritated or uncomfortable with honest emotions and the consequences of them, not to mention the public display of them. And as obvious as could be, it dawned on me. It was because I had gotten so good at hiding my own. I had distanced myself from what it is to be as free as a child.

There is a small circle of people who see me. See me be my most emotional self without my having to really think about it. See me be, a child. To the rest of the world I am put together, hiding behind a smile.

We can’t help but have to grow up. It’s a necessity that unless you are indeed willy wonka and have a chocolate factory, you will have to do. We can’t control the system; the schooling, the job hunt, the bills, the relationships, the stress, trial and tribulation that we learn, react and are shaped by as we grow. But perhaps there is one aspect of growing old we can control, we can reclaim and we can massively benefit from.

When a tooth falls out, a child rejoices the milestone. When we get a wrinkle, we consider it a flaw, a sign of something we must mask. I want to remind us that we are all children, beautiful, and it is worth rejoicing at every stage of our life. Botox and such would take that away and prolong an illusion. And illusions are a cancer at the heart of our society. They are the very reason we hide behind our smiles.

You won’t see me kicking and screaming on the floor in Spinneys, but you may see me start practicing honesty with myself and others, “Things aren’t that great, I feel sad today,” and with that honesty I’ll repel any insecurity, I’ll move on with my day, and will have exhaled the negativity behind me, instead of storing it inside me.

Being that gentle with myself, I think I’ll learn to be comfortable with my circumstance across an ever changing landscape of life. I’ll begin a peaceful journey, and reconnect with my own raw desires, needs, likes and dislikes quite separate from any need for approval or acceptance.

And once I disconnect from how society has herded me into living, perhaps, and just perhaps, I may throw a little party, just me and a glass of wine, when I get that first grey, proud and joyous to have reached another milestone, grateful for all I have on my own journey.

By Guest Blogger, Dee Misra.

Dee is a New York born, London raised, Dubai/London dwelling Indian girl. My thoughts flow much like a river. They say you can never step in the same river twice, for its not the same river and you won’t be the same woman. And so I began to pen my journey down. To remember as I grow and to hopefully and humbly inspire.