The night is dark and full of errors.
All Credits: PA
It can be frustrating, being a night owl. We often have the best of intentions regarding beneficial bedtimes, but these are invariably cast aside in a haze of emails, Netflix and poor self-discipline.
On the plus side, studies have shown that night owls tend to be more intelligent. On the flip side, those same studies suggest that health and happiness tend to suffer.
Whether you can’t sleep or just won’t – the night owl sees the world through a range of different perspectives. Here are just 15 of them…
We’re not sure if it’s a hangover from childhood – when every minute past bedtime is a minute gained – but it feels like the night should stretch on for all eternity. In reality, one moment it’s 11 and you’re catching up on Line Of Duty, the next it’s 3 am and you’ve been condemned to exhaustion by cat video.
A late night is like a social detox – Facebook falls silent, so too does Snapchat, and if you’re unfortunate enough to receive texts in the early hours, no one can expect you to reply to them.
Sit back, relax, and wallow in your misanthropy.
“The stars are mansions built by nature’s hand,” wrote William Wordsworth in his sonnet of the same name – one of literally thousands of poems inspired by the awesome quality of the night sky.
For legendary beauty, it’s up there with Santorini and Helen of Troy.
You’re too tired to work effectively during the day, get your second wind in the evening, enjoy your newfound productivity, and then you are too tired to work again the following day.
Rinse and repeat.
You’re so good, you could watch the whole of Titanic in 20 minutes flat.
If a jail and a prison are the same thing, why is a jailer the opposite of a prisoner?
Hello darkness, my old friend.
You know how all deep and meaningful conversations tend to happen towards the end of the evening? That’s not just alcohol: there’s a private, conspiratorial feel to the witching hour that makes it a natural time to share.
I’m on the sofa, my toothbrush is in the bathroom, my bed is upstairs…
Ah well, guess I’ll sit here for another three hours.
One snooze alarm down, 17 to go.
I don’t want to be a negative Nancy, but either join me in my pit of morning misery or go away.