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How often does your DH contact you when he's away on business?

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 12:09

If say he was away for a week, would he contact you every day, sometimes or not at all, by email etc? If his hotel didn't have free net, would you expect him to pay so he could stay in touch? How would you feel if he didn't contact you at all? Thanks ladies

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940

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 23:09

We call each other every couple of days and BB daily......

10

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 April 2011 - 23:05

We have a quick chat couple of times every day. If at night, it is a little longer and the topic could be anything (his work, my work, our child, daily life, news etc.) He also lets me know when he is landed, and he e-mails me a copy of his flight details and his hotel bookings. He flies so often to so many different countries that I sometimes forget which country he went. I find all of the above necessary for me to keep my sanity and keep the marriage going. I believe I have the right to ask that he keeps in touch given that he is away 5 days a week. We have been together for the last 5 years and he has been away travelling for 3 and a half years of it! Go figure. I try not to call him during the day unless it is absolutely necessary so that he has his business day to himself ( If I call, he always answers his phone even in a meeting and tells me he is busy and will call back). I personally could not make the marriage work if he did not call me daily but again every relationship has its own dynamics.

14

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:27

Even though we are in contact daily, it is still fun to catch up on the stories and things that happen whilst we were not together. It also helps if something happens that is frustrating, or if someone says something ridiculous, rather than get angry I can think, I must remember to tell him this as it will make a good story!

1579

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:24

@CycloneT Every time you post about your live/work situation, I truly admire both you and your husband for the sacrifice and hard work you put into your family and marriage. I can't imagine how you make it work, but sounds like you are doing a damn good job at it. Thank you. It takes effort but he and we are worth it. I am a very lucky lady :)

Lady Bubbles29805

712

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:23

can't find the blush :) Cause it's on the OS. LOL

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:22

The before bed is just coz I miss him :)

gleekfamily24043

481

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:21

@CycloneT Every time you post about your live/work situation, I truly admire both you and your husband for the sacrifice and hard work you put into your family and marriage. I can't imagine how you make it work, but sounds like you are doing a damn good job at it.

Lady Bubbles29805

712

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:20

I work here and DH is in Australia with the kids so he calls me at 5am/9am as he knows that is when I am stretching in bed. I call him at 7pm/11pm as that is the time he goes to bed. If we need to speak during the day we just call. SMS are usually just to say I love you or I miss you or occassionally something a bit naughtier ;) Twice a week I get up at 2am/6am to have breakfast with him on Skype and once on a weekend we talk at 4pm/8pm for at least an hour. If I fly or he flies anywhere we send each other the full itinery and text getting on, off and once at the hotel or flat/home. We've been married almost 22 years and before the advent of mobiles would use landlines (but not quite as often). Cost is never considered. I love this CT.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:19

normal is whats normal for you, not anyone else :). Thanks gals for the answers :). My husband and I of course are (I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM SAYING THIS!!!) from another era where Cell phones were a luxury lol. He would call a couple of times if he was away for 7 days or I would call him and leave a message if it was important. Otherwise, any drama that went on while he was away (and it started the second he left the house lol) was just tucked away until he got home and I got on with it. I suppose it is different now that the younger generations (and I CANNOT BELIEVE i also said that lol) are so used to txting/smsing/mmsing/ whatever that it is second nature. For us, it is not a necessary thing because if something happens I log into Emirates and find his hotel or call someone who knows and just call him. Or txt if he remembered to keep the phone on lol....otherwise, nothing is so important and if he txted me a whole lot it would bother me to a point lol...let alone call me 4 times a day. I would think there was something seriously wrong with him...Love it when he comes home and i havent talked to him in a couple of dayl.so much to share :)....but, that is us and it is normal for us only :)

277

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:18

I do want to ask though, and please, this is not meant in any other way than honestly wanting to know......why your husbands must txt or ring when they land/check in/go out/go to bed and txts all day? I do really want to know why? Because my husband travels to some of the worlds most dangerous countries and I like knowing hes still alive. :)

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:17

I work here and DH is in Australia with the kids so he calls me at 5am/9am as he knows that is when I am stretching in bed. I call him at 7pm/11pm as that is the time he goes to bed. If we need to speak during the day we just call. SMS are usually just to say I love you or I miss you or occassionally something a bit naughtier ;) Twice a week I get up at 2am/6am to have breakfast with him on Skype and once on a weekend we talk at 4pm/8pm for at least an hour. If I fly or he flies anywhere we send each other the full itinery and text getting on, off and once at the hotel or flat/home. We've been married almost 22 years and before the advent of mobiles would use landlines (but not quite as often). Cost is never considered.

Lady Bubbles29805

712

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:12

My DH 'lives in' all the time (more's the shame... lol...) and we usually talk once a day on the phone anyway. Is that not normal? Having said that if we are apart we probably speak much less. Once a week i suppose but texts/emails every day. <em>edited by Lady Bubbles on 31/03/2011</em>

14

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:08

SueB, because we lived in different countries for years and he has always travelled and often so it is a daily contact to know what is going on in each other's lives and once the kids come along, it was even more important. I do worry when he travels and a simple "landed" text takes 3 secs and gives me peace of mind

197

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:07

I do want to ask though, and please, this is not meant in any other way than honestly wanting to know......why your husbands must txt or ring when they land/check in/go out/go to bed and txts all day? I do really want to know why? The landing etc are just so I know he's ok and once he's checked into his hotel, I know where he is if I need to reach him in an emergency and can't get to his phone ( the hotels arrangements and stuff have been a nightmare in the past, so that rule was made). The before bed is just coz I miss him ( can't find the blush :)

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 21:05

I do want to ask though, and please, this is not meant in any other way than honestly wanting to know......why your husbands must txt or ring when they land/check in/go out/go to bed and txts all day? I do really want to know why? With my best friend it was definately an insecurity thing with her DH. He called several times a day while at work and if she wasn't in??? boy did she get the tenth degree. This was before everyone had mobiles surgically attached to their heads. A few years ago we had a day out to Edinburgh for lunch, shopping then the theatre. My poor friend had to txt her DH every hour or so to let him know she was ok!!! If we are away the weekend, she panics if she forgets to txt him, it's ridiculous. I've spoken to her about it and her DH but he just says "he worries about her" She's in her 50s now!! DH and I are the opposite but then he is so laid back he's horizontal and I'd get mad if he was constantly checking up on me.

648

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 20:59

Haha I have it the other way round my DH is always asking why I don’t call him. The more he moans about it the more it puts me off calling him.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 20:57

I do want to ask though, and please, this is not meant in any other way than honestly wanting to know......why your husbands must txt or ring when they land/check in/go out/go to bed and txts all day? I do really want to know why?

238

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 20:12

Actually I hate it when he rings every day. There's really not much "current" to say when you're apart and I hate the feeling of "forcing" a conversation. Silence is normal and healthy in a relationship. I'm happy for a call every couple of days, unless something noteworthy has happened.

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:42

if in doubt, install a GPS tracker. LOL you're hilarious! :) But seriously, where can I get one? No, only joking. Or not. No, I am...*shifty eyes* My husband can sell you one, but it might be too big to hide ... Haha! No I really was joking, honest :)

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:41

Thanks SueB, got it :)

1238

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:40

if in doubt, install a GPS tracker. LOL you're hilarious! :) But seriously, where can I get one? No, only joking. Or not. No, I am...*shifty eyes* My husband can sell you one, but it might be too big to hide ...

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:39

Let me know when you have it :) if nothing else sweet cheeks we can have a good laugh :) <em>edited by SueB on 31/03/2011</em>

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:39

if in doubt, install a GPS tracker. LOL you're hilarious! :) But seriously, where can I get one? No, only joking. Or not. No, I am...*shifty eyes*

596

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:25

Your not a control freak and think most women go through doubt at some point and generally started by others putting doubt in their mind. I recall this happening to me ( doubt put in my head by other women) years ago for a time and it was listening to these insecure expats . not everyones husband will have an affair, depends on your marriage. Good luck Good idea to talk with him about your concerns. When he gets home next week I will try and have a chat about this - I need to approach it in the right way or I'll just seem like a control freak (I am, but that's not what this is about). SueB, I would love to get in touch if you wouldn't mind! Thanks all :) I'll be back later with some pampas grass stories

845

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:04

DH has an Ipod and can Skype with it, loves it as also he can read his emails without having to get his laptop out when checking in to hotels

Pomegranate35436

867

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 19:01

Sorry to say Fairytale but the expensive gifts were most likely guilt gifts, and not guilt from the lack of phone calls. There is a classic line. If you husband/boyfriend comes home with flowers (or unwarranted gifts), don't be happy - be suspicious :\:

spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:49

well last business stay I had the hotel not only provided free wi-fi, but there was a laptop in the room to use it on. My eldest said they probably mistook me for someone else! Roaming charges don't apply if you have pay as you go mobiles, just international call rates per the phone company. I use Etisalat, China mobile and UK vodafone for the rest of the world. The person whose room it really was? Did you not notice someone else in the bed with you? :-P

spongemonkey980

4329

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:48

GirlAnachronism, I would be worried...your DH excuses seem very lame. Blackberry package difference between domestic and Intl is probably 100-150AED/month so even if company doesnt give it to him he can pay from his pocket! Or better.....you pay to **** him off! You can explain to him that it is not about control but being "around" when he is phisically away. Most women are actually more relaxed to know that their hubby is available on a BB and dont even bother to annoy him anymore... Also once he has a BB there is no extra cost to send you a BBM once in a while. ... or worse...to make him send a quick photo where he is at that moment! Technology works both ways! good luck As if a mobile has ever stopped a husband from party time!

Sticky Wicket36659

1511

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:32

Only calls when in a dry country and bored brainless. How long have you been married SW? Has this always been the case? Are you the same when you are away from him in the summer etc? A) Too long B) urm, yes ish, although i do open my suitcase to love notes and roses sometimes (frigging anoying). C) Urm yes, but i don't prop up a bar i shop. We do call, but not heavy duty and don't worry if neither calls for a day or two.

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 31 March 2011 - 18:30

Sorry had a really busy afternoon so couldn't check the thread...thank you so much for all your responses, it's great to get some different takes on this! To respond to a few; regarding setting rules, that would never work with DH. Much as I'd love (LOVE) to be able to make rules and be the boss all the time, he would either be afronted or ignore it. About BB, phones etc. Phone calls are expensive and I understand that - but he bought a laptop specifically justifying it as he would use it whilst away to chat with me, Skype etc. Hasn't happened as the hotel/no free net issue. What bugs me is - he is not cheap by any means usually...so this excuse doesn't make sense to me. If he just wants time away that's fine, I don't need him to call me or text me or email me constantly...just maybe once every day or so. Do I think he's too busy out having fun? Yes. Am I ok with that? To a point, yes. But when my needs are pushed so low down the list in favour of having fun without me, that's not ok with me. Perhaps that makes me a selfish cah, I don't know and don't care lol :) I do get nervous about the women he works with, but I know that, if a man wants to cheat, he will - even if he comes home at 5pm on the dot every day he'll manage to squeeze it in (excuse the pun) at some point. I figure the best you can do is get on with life - hope for the best, prepare for the worst etc. etc. When he gets home next week I will try and have a chat about this - I need to approach it in the right way or I'll just seem like a control freak (I am, but that's not what this is about). SueB, I would love to get in touch if you wouldn't mind! Thanks all :) I'll be back later with some pampas grass stories

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