Help my son is very rude to our maid! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Help my son is very rude to our maid!

2
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 09:53

My 3 year old son speaks to our maid very rudely. She has lived with us for two months and my willful pre-schooler often tells her what to do and how and shouts if he doesn’t get his own way. I am constantly intervening and correcting his behavior. Unfortunately I don’t have any control over this when I am not home. I have made several suggestions to our maid regarding how to deal with him behaving this way (such as walking away when he shouts) however the mere mention of saying no to him or ignoring the behaviour, our maid defends my son and tells me he really is a good boy. I know it’s not her responsibility to discipline our son and I don’t expect that, but I really don’t know what to do. I want him to be respectful to all adults and I don’t want to raise an expat brat. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation?

1987
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 August 2012 - 01:28
When I hear it, I intervene and correct my child. I would also ask the maid to come to me every time it happens, or let me know after the fact, then I can talk to child and explain/correct. The children are basically well-behaved, they just want to push boundaries. We always talk about the fact that our maid is living with us in our house so she can help us, that she has a house far away with her own family and children whom she misses.
2
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 16:47
Thanks Daza and mushypeas It is reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who has experienced this problem. I will definitely talk with Mr 3 and try and find out what is going on and continue to reinforce that it’s not ok. I will also make myself clearer with my Maid - as I know she finds it difficult. I really appreciate the advice!
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 13:54
Hi globalmom I agree with mushypeas that you should talk to your son but I also can't stand the sight of a little brat ordering around a maid. Children naturally push boundaries and get away with what they can (well, my children do anyway) so I've taken a zero tolerance approach to my children (2,4 and 6) bossing around and being rude to our maid. I'm much stricter with how they speak to her than how they speak to me because she's here to help our family, not take abuse from my children. Keep intervening and correcting your son but you have to get her on board too. I don't expect our maid to discipline my children either but she does know that if they are bossy or rude that she has to ignore them and walk away. Our maid found it quite difficult to start with but I made it not negotiable and she is fine with it now. It seems to work, I can't remember the last time my 6 year old was disciplined for being rude to her, my 4 year old it happens rarely and my 2 year old is learning! Good luck, you'll get there in the end.
2192
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 11:34
is he like that with all Adults that are not related to him or just her ? If its just her, I would sit him down and ask him why he shouts at her. My son did that and after I spoke to him ( softly softly does it ) he told me that he didnt like her ! Try and get to the bottom of what the problem is by working with you son.
 
 

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