Maid wants to break her contract - urgent help needed!

I should add, I agree with wickedangel_78 ... agency maids can also be a nightmare. I used one agency 5 years ago who delivered the psycho maid. I did have to pay up front, and she was so bad I drove her back to the agency office within 3 days. When I went back to the agency, the psycho maid started crying and saying that my DH was not a nice man and she was scared of him. Ironically my DH was away at the time so she just was making it all up to get sympathy. I was so so so angry. Not at paying the money - but at watching this person who had been in my home (and with my children) turn into the most nastiest, lying little .... I had ever seen. The agency refused to give me my money back, but I can say that I got all my money back. I called the police, and promised the manager that I would come to her office every single day until I got my money back. That day, I had 100% full refund. When I got back to my house, the psycho maid had written me a letter saying that in her country she had maids, and that she couldn't believe she had to work 'like a maid'.

Local agency is the way to go about this. Completely agree with aevans in Dubai I always go through agencies but I had my share of lies & made up stories. If you go through agency, be ware of "take me back to the agency, I don't like it here", you have the right to change her once during the 1st 3 months for a valid reason but the second time you will have to pay 50% of the agency fee again. 2 yrs back when I refused to give our maid 2 days off instead of 1 she reported us saying that we dont feed her & we let her work 15 hrs per day without rest, so I sent her back to the agency who had a replacement employer on spot , when we finally had a replacement after 2 months, she got upset when I asked her nicely to clean her own room & wash her bed sheets at least once a week, she eneded up crying & asked us to take her back to the agency. I was firm & I told her clearly that I dont return maids to agencies & I don't care about the 10K I paid, if she wants to leave I'm happy to send her back to her home with a ban as she didnt fulfill her agreement, this happened 2 weeks after she joined. I gave her 2 days to think about it, her room is in the middle of the house, it is not acceptable for us to have a smelly disgusting room in our place, after 2 days she apologised & told us she was going to stay. If you go through agency be ware of those scenarios, agencies dont care about clients who already paid the fee, they will happily take the majd back as they always have other clients who are ready to pay immediately for a maid available on spot.

Local agency is the way to go about this. Completely agree with aevans in Dubai

aevans_inUdubai.....You are so Funny( I bet without knowing it!) That is one of the best posts I have read! You should think about writing a book on your experienes...

Do not make any further mistakes with her. Any girls you interview locally will smell your desperation and treat you exactly the same. I would cancel her visa immediately, and take her to the airport. Anyone that says that they want to go home will not be working hard for you - and really can't be trusted to be at home with your precious one. In my time in Dubai, I have had the pregnant maid; the runaway maid (my mother is very sick - it's her heart); the lying maid; the thieving maid, the psycho maid (she lasted 3 days), the filthy maid, and just recently got rid of the world's laziest maid. I am not at all harsh, and I pay very well (but not 3,000 AED - that's just crazy money). In return I was treated terribly - and lied to repeatedly. After ditching the world's laziest maid, I spoke to others at my work and asked them where they sourced their excellent home help (I did not speak to other westerners!) and decided I would try a different recruitment approach. I first interviewed around town - and met all these 'wonderful maids' with glowing references - all wanting ridiculous salaries, up to 3 nights out.... etc etc. Those that did turn up to interview just asked how much they will get and were so jaded by the whole Dubai lifestyle - one said she has many many friends and her madam lets her spend Thurs/Fri and Sat night with them. To be honest any maid that turns up with more bling than beyonce isn't in your home caring for your children.... she is using your house as free accommodation whilst she pursues other interests. After the final round of disastrous interviews (where one maid came to our apartment and said it was too large for her and she would not be able to clean it...) I contacted labour supply companies in Dubai. They charge between 7,000 - 10,000 for a maid and you will also have to pay the cost to sponsor her. I was so impressed with the standard of CVs. I interviewed around 15 girls (all based in the Philippines). I was then sent a 20 minute pre-recorded video interview of any of the girls I wanted more information about. It was an incredible eye opener. We just never ask the right questions - however these agents live and die by their reputation so they do not refer / take on any rubbish maids. All the girls were so genuine, and I could have hired about 5 of the 15 I interviewed right there and then. They sign undertakings with the agency as well as with their sponsor to work and honour the agreements. Most of them are assigned to Arabic families. Anyway, I just want to say, ditch the maids that are advertising here. They are playing us all against each other and when you work full time and look for someone to care for your kids you sometimes make desperate decisions. Pop your LO in a nursery if need be until you find the right one. You may have to do that for a month, but the cost will be worth if you can feel more comfortable with the care arrangements long term. Trust me when I say, it was so hard for me to get rid of the world's laziest maid - because it was just easier to keep her year in year out. She knew the kids and the routines - but the kids have blossomed since she left. The world's laziest maid spent 20 hours a day in her room.... . Anytime I needed anything I had to go and knock on her door and wait there .... I would get home from work and she would be sitting on the couch watching tv with the kids. No dinner, kids in school uniforms... and the whole time I would just think - well at least they are safe... (guilt of going to work). It has taken me a month to unplug my kids from the ipad,ipod and tv - as it was what she did every day - just turn them on and head to her room. Argh. Feel so glad that the world's laziest maid has gone and that I invested money and time into employing someone new to the region. Just google - Labour Supply Company Dubai and a range of options will come up. Well said ! Sorry, the thumbs just weren't enough.

Do not make any further mistakes with her. Any girls you interview locally will smell your desperation and treat you exactly the same. I would cancel her visa immediately, and take her to the airport. Anyone that says that they want to go home will not be working hard for you - and really can't be trusted to be at home with your precious one. In my time in Dubai, I have had the pregnant maid; the runaway maid (my mother is very sick - it's her heart); the lying maid; the thieving maid, the psycho maid (she lasted 3 days), the filthy maid, and just recently got rid of the world's laziest maid. I am not at all harsh, and I pay very well (but not 3,000 AED - that's just crazy money). In return I was treated terribly - and lied to repeatedly. After ditching the world's laziest maid, I spoke to others at my work and asked them where they sourced their excellent home help (I did not speak to other westerners!) and decided I would try a different recruitment approach. They all recommended using agencies, and trying to source a maid directly from the Philippines. I first interviewed around town - and met all these 'wonderful maids' with glowing references - all wanting ridiculous salaries, up to 3 nights out.... etc etc. Those that did turn up to interview just asked how much they will get and were so jaded by the whole Dubai lifestyle - one said she has many many friends and her madam lets her spend Thurs/Fri and Sat night with them. To be honest any maid that turns up with more bling than beyonce isn't in your home caring for your children.... she is using your house as free accommodation whilst she pursues other interests. After the final round of disastrous interviews (where one maid came to our apartment and said it was too large for her and she would not be able to clean it...) I contacted labour supply companies in Dubai. They charge between 7,000 - 10,000 for a maid and you will also have to pay the cost to sponsor her. I was so impressed with the standard of CVs. I interviewed around 15 girls (all based in the Philippines). I was then sent a 20 minute pre-recorded video interview of any of the girls I wanted more information about. It was an incredible eye opener. We just never ask the right questions - however these agents live and die by their reputation so they do not refer / take on any rubbish maids. All the girls were so genuine, and I could have hired about 5 of the 15 I interviewed right there and then. They sign undertakings with the agency as well as with their sponsor to work and honour the agreements. Most of them are assigned to Arabic families. Anyway, I just want to say, ditch the maids that are advertising here. They are playing us all against each other and when you work full time and look for someone to care for your kids you sometimes make desperate decisions. Pop your LO in a nursery if need be until you find the right one. You may have to do that for a month, but the cost will be worth if you can feel more comfortable with the care arrangements long term. Trust me when I say, it was so hard for me to get rid of the world's laziest maid - because it was just easier to keep her year in year out. She knew the kids and the routines - but the kids have blossomed since she left. The world's laziest maid spent 20 hours a day in her room.... . Anytime I needed anything I had to go and knock on her door and wait there .... I would get home from work and she would be sitting on the couch watching tv with the kids. No dinner, kids in school uniforms... and the whole time I would just think - well at least they are safe... (guilt of going to work). It has taken me a month to unplug my kids from the ipad,ipod and tv - as it was what she did every day - just turn them on and head to her room. Argh. Feel so glad that the world's laziest maid has gone and that I invested money and time into employing someone new to the region. Just google - Labour Supply Company Dubai and a range of options will come up. <em>edited by aevans_indubai on 04/05/2014</em>

@Sage&Onion: For a second I thought you wanted the OP to grow 2 extra sets of hands!

I don't normally comment on the maid threads, but this appeared in my Facebook timeline tonight, and it may be a short-term/longer term solution for a few people. http://on.fb.me/1hSGI9F hope this is of some use :-)

Miss Issipi, I lived in London as an ex-pat for 3 years and most families where I lived had a live-in nanny or au-pair, maybe it depends on the area one lives in. But every ex-pat assignment we have had in several countries, having a live-in domestic helper was the norm. In this part of the world, having a live in helper is the norm, so I don't understand why people are surprised or dismissive of people who do have help around the home or full-time carers for their kids when they go to work. <em>edited by mum2girls on 30/04/2014</em>

Hi ladies I wanted to say a big thank you for your input and advice, it's been a very trying time. The reality is I have spoken to her and have confirmed that I will not be banning her or reporting her for the illegal work. I only found out about the latter because she ended up doing some work for a friend of a friend and it came to light by chance. .... I feel very naive now but more disappointed than anything bc I want to treat people well but feel v used and that makes me unsure of how to handle the situation next time. Do you recommend a change of approach? No, I think you handled it well and you might be a bit less trusting in future but ultimately you will treat your next maid just as well I'm sure. I've had a few maids over the years and they have been nothing but loyal. One comes and visits me on a regular basis just to see the kids (sometimes bringing me dahl or biriyani) and the other is about to come back and work for me tomorrow now that her replacement for the last 18 months (who she found for me) has retired and gone back to the Philippines. I've been told a few tall stories over the years but ultimately they've been lovely women who I have enjoyed having in my house and I wish them all the best. They have also put up with a lot from me I'm sure, I'm hopelessly messy and terrible at giving instructions but they have always been patient and have worked hard when needed, even in times of personal crisis. And most of all, they have loved my children, and that is not something that money can buy. When interviewing I would ask as carefully as you can questions about any debts and financial obligations, we were pretty careful to avoid anyone who was stressed about money as really they will always be looking for a way to climb out faster, and you can't blame them really.

surely placing a ban should be something used to deal with [b'>serious criminal [/b'>negligence, not just because someone decides they want to change jobs before their contract was up, that seems very vengeful and petty. Is it legal to with hold a passport? I think you have grounds for instant dismissal, without a leaving bonus. Any sort of blackmail or deception on your part though is out of line. The lying on her part (family emergency) is really just her being uncomfortable at straight up quitting, she obviously feels she has the opportunity to get a better job, more money for less hours, that is only human. Why not just have a very frank conversation with her where you treat her as a human being? Explain how valuable she has been and your disappointment at being left significantly out of pocket (tell her exactly what it is costing you) and in the lurch and give her the option of going home or finishing her contract, maybe with a bonus to be given at the end as an incentive? working illegally ? Exactly. How would you feel kiwispiers if this maid wasn't banned and someone else, like you, employed her and then had the authorities on their doorstep with a 50k fine. I live in Doha, I'm not sure exactly what the laws are in the UAE as they differ but here you can only buy p0rk with a permit, it is illegal to serve others alcohol in your house and it is against the law for unamarried couples to live together, to water your garden or wash your car with tap water and for anyone to run a photography business, cupcake business, henna business etc from home. I haven't hear of anyone getting a ban placed on them by their sponsor for doing any of these things though. I don't think all crimes are equal and I think it is petty to really mess up somebody's life to that degree just because they cost you some money. <em>edited by kiwispiers on 30/04/2014</em>

surely placing a ban should be something used to deal with [b'>serious criminal [/b'>negligence, not just because someone decides they want to change jobs before their contract was up, that seems very vengeful and petty. Is it legal to with hold a passport? I think you have grounds for instant dismissal, without a leaving bonus. Any sort of blackmail or deception on your part though is out of line. The lying on her part (family emergency) is really just her being uncomfortable at straight up quitting, she obviously feels she has the opportunity to get a better job, more money for less hours, that is only human. Why not just have a very frank conversation with her where you treat her as a human being? Explain how valuable she has been and your disappointment at being left significantly out of pocket (tell her exactly what it is costing you) and in the lurch and give her the option of going home or finishing her contract, maybe with a bonus to be given at the end as an incentive? working illegally ? no, that is the grounds for instant dismissal I agree, but to me serious criminal negligence would be putting the child at risk of physical harm, abusing the child etc. I agree. People throw around the BBB solution to just about every problem encountered with the maid, it kind of seems like one approach is deemed to fit all scenarios but this should be kept for serious offences.

surely placing a ban should be something used to deal with [b'>serious criminal [/b'>negligence, not just because someone decides they want to change jobs before their contract was up, that seems very vengeful and petty. Is it legal to with hold a passport? I think you have grounds for instant dismissal, without a leaving bonus. Any sort of blackmail or deception on your part though is out of line. The lying on her part (family emergency) is really just her being uncomfortable at straight up quitting, she obviously feels she has the opportunity to get a better job, more money for less hours, that is only human. Why not just have a very frank conversation with her where you treat her as a human being? Explain how valuable she has been and your disappointment at being left significantly out of pocket (tell her exactly what it is costing you) and in the lurch and give her the option of going home or finishing her contract, maybe with a bonus to be given at the end as an incentive? working illegally ? no, that is the grounds for instant dismissal I agree, but to me serious criminal negligence would be putting the child at risk of physical harm, abusing the child etc.

Perhaps because we all live in Dubai, and see what happens here, which is completely different to our home countries? I lived in another country for 8yrs before coming to Dubai and never encountered a single nanny or maid. I'm not saying it doesn't go on elsewhere but that might answer your question about why Dubai is a focus on this Dubai-related forum. I don't know where you lived before coming to Dubai, but in London, every single working mum I knew (and plenty of SAHMs too) had either a nanny or au pair. Most working couples or singles (without kids) that I worked with had a cleaner come in at least once a week for a couple of hours. Really nothing to write home about.

There are Mom's all over the world who hire domestic help, au-pairs and nannies. It is not a situation unique to Dubai. I just don't understand why some people harp on about this being a Dubai 'thing', Perhaps because we all live in Dubai, and see what happens here, which is completely different to our home countries? I lived in another country for 8yrs before coming to Dubai and never encountered a single nanny or maid. I'm not saying it doesn't go on elsewhere but that might answer your question about why Dubai is a focus on this Dubai-related forum.

I just think it's more because the working Mums in Dubai probably wouldn't have / need help if they still lived in their home countries. Majority of the Mums you mention, I feel are those who would do it no matter where they lived as it is just a way of life for them.

Not all working Moms have 9-5 jobs, which exclude travel !!! There are Mom's all over the world who hire domestic help, au-pairs and nannies. It is not a situation unique to Dubai. I just don't understand why some people harp on about this being a Dubai 'thing', Good on every parent for doing it the best they can, with help or without help. Some people are far too judgemental for their own good <em>edited by mum2girls on 30/04/2014</em>

Lucky that you and or DH have jobs that allow you to be a bit flexible then so you can be around more for your school aged (I assume) kids. What would you like us working mums to do with our babies? I do not want to, nor can I afford to put my baby in a nursery from 7am to 6pm, and even if I could, then it is the same as "hired help", only in a more grubby, noisy environment. Although it may come across differently, I am not trying to criticize working mums. Being one myself I know we have enough to battle already, without others judging us. To respond to your comment though - it isn't luck that ensures we can manage without help in my family. We have deliberately set our lives up that way. My husband is 43 and I'm 32 - we left having kids until we knew we could handle it the way we preferred to (having already spent 5 years in Dubai at that point). I know others have kids under different circumstances. It's no easy thing and as I said, I'm not at all against hired help. I think hiring a nanny could be the right answer for many people. But I don't agree that it's the Dubai-lifestyle that demands it (it's your own choices), and I also don't agree with how many people treat their maids and nannies. In many cases, Dubai seems to create people resembling old time plantation owners, thinking they have the right to dictate how people live their lives (and penalizing them for it) just because they pay their wages. I also struggle to understand how those with live-in help can find it comfortable to live with a stranger, without making them part of their family (as I have understood that they key to having domestic help is to keep them at arm's length), but that's my own problem and I don't question it - I just choose to not have live-in help.

For the most of us who ' need a maid' as we are working mums, when we go back to our home country we will manage perfectly fine as we have the benefit of flexi hours, family to help with childcare and cheaper activities for children afterschool which is not what we have here,hence the need for househelp. I respect people's choices and don't disagree with hiring domestic help. That said, I don't agree with the sentiment that life for working mum's in Dubai is so different to elsewhere in the world. I'm a working mum too but my husband and I manage without both maids and nannies, as we work hard to avoid that, believing that it is best for our daughter to be looked after by us, not hired help. I also get a certain pride from managing to look after or home and cook our own food - I honestly don't want anyone else doing that. So, based on my own situation I know that it's possible to be a working mum and not rely on domestic help, although I respect that other prioritise differently. Lucky that you and or DH have jobs that allow you to be a bit flexible then so you can be around more for your school aged (I assume) kids. What would you like us working mums to do with our babies? I do not want to, nor can I afford to put my baby in a nursery from 7am to 6pm, and even if I could, then it is the same as "hired help", only in a more grubby, noisy environment.

Hello ladies, Wow, reading this post, it could be me so I need to ask some questions here too as not posted in a while so sincere apologies for using this thread! Our maid has also decided she wants out and (I think, checking with hubby as I write!) we have paid for a two year visa that cost us around 10,000aed, she started with us on June 1st last year but the paperwork took an age and her visa didn't start till July ish, she wants to leave us in July but we have said 'No, you can leave in June thanks' so she will have done a year but visa didn't kick in until July, again like most Mum's posting on this thread I work, so I do need her up until then otherwise I would ask her to go now, fortunately I work for a school so the Summer won't be a problem and I will have time to find another maid. But... what do I owe her then if anything? A one way flight back to the Phillipines? Do I retain a month's salary due to cost of visa, am I entitled to do that without getting into trouble? Any advice appreciated. She has played us royally and again like OP, I feel a right nitwit. Also, are there costs involved with cancelling a visa? <em>edited by NJP1 on 30/04/2014</em>

Strange, I can't see Arch's response. . Deleted it ... :)

Many posters use language as if they were training dogs, not talking about human beings with needs, wants and dreams like everyone else. s... This topic was hardly bad; comments on the thread regarding a maid conceiving, either by accident or intentionally, were far worse. actually think the worse comemnts are those on the "rehoming" maids.... what they are animals? Strange, I can't see Arch's response. But I totally agree IzzyOnTheSeat.

Many posters use language as if they were training dogs, not talking about human beings with needs, wants and dreams like everyone else. s... This topic was hardly bad; comments on the thread regarding a maid conceiving, either by accident or intentionally, were far worse. actually think the worse comemnts are those on the "rehoming" maids.... what they are animals?

Good for you Miss Issipi. I take pride in paying our maid a salary that far exceeds what she could ever hope to earn in her home country, that supports her family and that has provided opportunities for her siblings that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to afford. Of course I also love that despite having four young children my house is spotless and I have the energy (just!) and ability to enjoy the occasional fun night out with my husband :) Like I said, I'm not against domestic help in any way. I do however strongly disagree with how some maids are treated, and that people consider them to be different types of people from themselves. Many posters use language as if they were training dogs, not talking about human beings with needs, wants and dreams like everyone else. From what you said it sounds like you treat your maid very fairly which is of course great. I just wish that was the norm, not the exception. And I admit that I do wish that my husband and I had more time to spend going out for a meal together etc., but I've accepted that that's one of the prices we pay for chosing to manage family life by ourselves...

I respect people's choices and don't disagree with hiring domestic help. That said, I don't agree with the sentiment that life for working mum's in Dubai is so different to elsewhere in the world. I'm a working mum too but my husband and I manage without both maids and nannies, as we work hard to avoid that, believing that it is best for our daughter to be looked after by us, not hired help. I also get a certain [b'>pride[/b'> from managing to look after or home and cook our own food - I honestly don't want anyone else doing that. So, based on my own situation I know that it's possible to be a working mum and not rely on domestic help, although I respect that other prioritise differently. Good for you Miss Issipi. I take pride in paying our maid a salary that far exceeds what she could ever hope to earn in her home country, that supports her family and that has provided opportunities for her siblings that they otherwise wouldn't have been able to afford. Of course I also love that despite having four young children my house is spotless and I have the energy (just!) and ability to enjoy the occasional fun night out with my husband :)

Agree with Mushy. In my home country there is so much more on offer after school for kids be it at school or the option of a childminder who picks up as well. Which if legal here would prob help so many mums, ones that work and ones that want to earn some extra $'s. Then the advantage of (probably) living very close to school so most friends are within walking distance etc. School hours are also very different so no 7-30 start for school with a 9am start for work. I never even had a cleaner back in my home country.. prob wont if I go back. My house is also much smaller and less dusty than here. So I guess it's all about choices and priorities. Which school you chose, where you live, your living costs vs income etc. Good thing we don't have to deal with that in our home countries, isn't it!

Agree with Mushy. In my home country there is so much more on offer after school for kids be it at school or the option of a childminder who picks up as well. Which if legal here would prob help so many mums, ones that work and ones that want to earn some extra $'s. Then the advantage of (probably) living very close to school so most friends are within walking distance etc. School hours are also very different so no 7-30 start for school with a 9am start for work. I never even had a cleaner back in my home country.. prob wont if I go back. My house is also much smaller and less dusty than here.

For the most of us who ' need a maid' as we are working mums, when we go back to our home country we will manage perfectly fine as we have the benefit of flexi hours, family to help with childcare and cheaper activities for children afterschool which is not what we have here,hence the need for househelp. I respect people's choices and don't disagree with hiring domestic help. That said, I don't agree with the sentiment that life for working mum's in Dubai is so different to elsewhere in the world. I'm a working mum too but my husband and I manage without both maids and nannies, as we work hard to avoid that, believing that it is best for our daughter to be looked after by us, not hired help. I also get a certain pride from managing to look after or home and cook our own food - I honestly don't want anyone else doing that. So, based on my own situation I know that it's possible to be a working mum and not rely on domestic help, although I respect that other prioritise differently.

I do wonder how many of the posters in this thread would get on if they returned to their home countries and had to manage work, home and family without assistance from an underpaid national of a third-world country. Good luck to you all! For the most of us who ' need a maid' as we are working mums, when we go back to our home country we will manage perfectly fine as we have the benefit of flexi hours, family to help with childcare and cheaper activities for children afterschool which is not what we have here,hence the need for househelp.

I do wonder how many of the posters in this thread would get on if they returned to their home countries and had to manage work, home and family without assistance from an underpaid national of a third-world country. Good luck to you all!