Eric and I were hopeful of course, but also very “on edge.” We continued doing yoga as often as we could. And I also had the stress (ironically since it was meant to DE-stress) of keeping up with my acupuncture appointments. I was very careful to schedule them around the time of egg retrieval, as well as the impending implantation, as some “Path to Pregnancy” gurus contend that receiving acupuncture during particularly those times can put the odds of success in our favor.
Well, off we went. Each day, getting closer and closer to the all important egg retrieval day. I was scared and nervous, yet trying to stay calm. How do you do that, I wondered? We both took time off of work, and Eric drove me to the appointment, as he would need to drive me home as well, since I would be somewhat sedated and unable to drive. They called our names to come back, and I got dressed in the dressing gown as instructed. This all seemed so weird and surreal. There was a part of me that was angry that we had to go through this just to create a family – which seems a very normal, easy activity for most – yet not for us, unfortunate ones. I tried to stay positive. I kept telling myself that our reproductive body parts and squirmy things just needed a little help, and that’s what the kind doctors were doing.
They gave me my pill to sedate me. Eric smiled at me and held my hand, then they wheeled me into the operation room. I was surrounded by about 4-5 nurses, who were very busy. Then the doctor came in. The procedure did not hurt too much, and the doctor said kind things as he did what he needed to do. I was of course, relieved when it was all over. If I remember correctly, we both had taken a half day off of work, thus we then went in to work later that day. I appreciated the distraction that day.
The next day, we got the call. We held our breath. Then they told us that the egg did NOT fertilize with Eric’s hand-chosen, hand-washed sperm. Eric and I looked at each other, and I burst into tears. He held me for what seemed like forever, and we cried together. It was not a good day.
My best advice for you, readers, is to do your best to try to mentally prepare yourself for potential days like this. And to make sure that you have a supportive environment around you, and a rock solid relationship with your spouse.
Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. And I wish you the best on your journey.
Warm regards,
Cathy