For Victoria

This has been going on for days and is set to run for a while yet. Victoria has been given the advice she needs but isn't quite ready yet to do what she needs to be doing. I think perhaps letting it go now and leaving her to process her thoughts is what's needed right now more than anything else. What will be will be.

[b'>Gosh, so much drama.[/b'> If you trust the maid then let her stay working here, if not then send her home. It i really not a big event, just drive to the airport and walk her through. There is little to talk about, and she will not wrestle with you at the airport. Just tell her that you are going there to do the cancellation as immigration is closed on the weekend. Once inside, you can check her in....all done. Drama-o-rama indeed! When we had a maid a abscond a few years back it was high drama Chez Daza. It was all a bit of a let down how uninterested and 'meh' immigration were when we contacted them. BUT SHE"S GONE!!! WHAT DO WE DO???!!! *Stifled yawning from the immigration man on the other end of the phone* For immigration, it's just another absconded worker. They really don't care and would never view an absconded maid as a missing person's case...

Victoria, with all due respect, why is your DH's office involved in this at all? They deal with employment visas covered by employment laws and regulations, not servants visas. They are also not the ones who would end up with the 50k - 100k fine. Quitting a job from a 'normal' employer and quitting / being fired from a job where you are on a servants visa are two very different things. DNRD website with all numbers etc: http://dnrd.ae/en/Pages/Home.aspx <em>edited by Purple on 23/05/2013</em>

I shall get my Doritos Blue out, lock the door and windows and close the curtains :D excellent plan :D I just dropped tonight's dinner upside down on the floor. :( pass the takeaway menus... :D

lol :D what's a Thursday night without some maid dramarama! :-P normal ?

lol :D what's a Thursday night without some maid dramarama! :-P I shall get my Doritos Blue out, lock the door and windows and close the curtains :D

lol :D what's a Thursday night without some maid dramarama! :-P

[b'>Gosh, so much drama.[/b'> If you trust the maid then let her stay working here, if not then send her home. It i really not a big event, just drive to the airport and walk her through. There is little to talk about, and she will not wrestle with you at the airport. Just tell her that you are going there to do the cancellation as immigration is closed on the weekend. Once inside, you can check her in....all done. Drama-o-rama indeed! When we had a maid a abscond a few years back it was high drama Chez Daza. It was all a bit of a let down how uninterested and 'meh' immigration were when we contacted them. BUT SHE"S GONE!!! WHAT DO WE DO???!!! *Stifled yawning from the immigration man on the other end of the phone*

Gosh, so much drama. If you trust the maid then let her stay working here, if not then send her home. It i really not a big event, just drive to the airport and walk her through. There is little to talk about, and she will not wrestle with you at the airport. Just tell her that you are going there to do the cancellation as immigration is closed on the weekend. Once inside, you can check her in....all done.

We just came out of a maid situation ourselves, albeit much worse than yours. We bent over our backs to accommodate her needs as she asked to be allowed to stay here. She was a nightmare to be around and for months she was not able to find a job by herself and started asking for more and more assistance every time. I ended up writing her job adds, place them on dubizzle and classifieds here, teach her how to interview , drive her around, and eventually LYE and give her references as nobody would have hired her otherwise. All this because I desperately wanted her out of my house and life as I just gave birth .I just did not have the heart to send her home as she begged and cried every time I went close to do that. Meanwhile her behavior did not improve and kept doing the things she was fired for. When she finally got a job, the new family got to know the truth shortly after. We were mortified and embarrassed, could not apologize more, offered to reimburse all the visa costs and ticket but did not hear from them again. Some days later i came to know the maid has been saying around that she was sent away as I was crazy and jealous of her because DH liked her! They are capable of saying anything so just think about yourself and your family and ship her home! Please tell your DH our story, I bet he will change his mind! edited by Eli1979 on 23/05/2013 wow - i guess that's karma for lying to get rid of a dud maid.... I guess you can put it this way, however , It is very hard to say no when you see a grown up woman crying and begging not to be sent home. It is something I have to learn how to do before I hire another maid, for sure!

We just came out of a maid situation ourselves, albeit much worse than yours. We bent over our backs to accommodate her needs as she asked to be allowed to stay here. She was a nightmare to be around and for months she was not able to find a job by herself and started asking for more and more assistance every time. I ended up writing her job adds, place them on dubizzle and classifieds here, teach her how to interview , drive her around, and eventually LYE and give her references as nobody would have hired her otherwise. All this because I desperately wanted her out of my house and life as I just gave birth .I just did not have the heart to send her home as she begged and cried every time I went close to do that. Meanwhile her behavior did not improve and kept doing the things she was fired for. When she finally got a job, the new family got to know the truth shortly after. We were mortified and embarrassed, could not apologize more, offered to reimburse all the visa costs and ticket but did not hear from them again. Some days later i came to know the maid has been saying around that she was sent away as I was crazy and jealous of her because DH liked her! They are capable of saying anything so just think about yourself and your family and ship her home! Please tell your DH our story, I bet he will change his mind! edited by Eli1979 on 23/05/2013 wow - i guess that's karma for lying to get rid of a dud maid....

We just came out of a maid situation ourselves, albeit much worse than yours. We bent over our backs to accommodate her needs as she asked to be allowed to stay here. She was a nightmare to be around and for months she was not able to find a job by herself and started asking for more and more assistance every time. I ended up writing her job adds, place them on dubizzle and classifieds here, teach her how to interview , drive her around, and eventually LYE and give her references as nobody would have hired her otherwise. All this because I desperately wanted her out of my house and life as I just gave birth .I just did not have the heart to send her home as she begged and cried every time I went close to do that. Meanwhile her behavior did not improve and kept doing the things she was fired for. When she finally got a job, the new family got to know the truth shortly after. We were mortified and embarrassed, could not apologize more, offered to reimburse all the visa costs and ticket but did not hear from them again. Some days later i came to know the maid has been saying around that she was sent away as I was crazy and jealous of her because DH liked her! They are capable of saying anything so just think about yourself and your family and ship her home! Please tell your DH our story, I bet he will change his mind! <em>edited by Eli1979 on 23/05/2013</em>

Interesting that you say immigration would also advise sending her home. DHs work (HR and PRO) has now advised him not to fly her home but to cancel her visa and then let her have the 30 days to find something new. Funny how they don't seem concerned about the risk, but they have never had a problem with this approach so far. What I really don't get is how on earth you are meant to make sure they leave the country after the 30 days if they are no longer living with you. Of course DH now wants to do as his work suggests as he is that sort of guy, and also very trusting. I think he's also very uncomfortable with the idea of wrestling maid into car, into airport etc. He's a real softie and usually leaves the hard stuff to me (he has not got involved with talking to the maid at all about all this yet). Can anyone give me a number or website for immigration so I can see what they say. And yes its definitely suspicious that she's come back from sisters all smoochy, but only to the extent that she now wants something from us ie to stay in Dubai. She knows she has got to butter us up.

I know this is EW and Thursday and all, but why is everyone getting so wrapped up in this as if it's a soap on the telly ? These are real people and it's someone's real life situation... I think it's a bit weird the way some people are getting so "into" it all... (still shocked at a certain poster's comments regarding personal items...lol)

There is something odd about her going to her "sister's" last night and coming back this morning and being all smoochy. I am smelling ONE HUGE RAT!!!!

dont worry about her stuff, not your problem...in any case, i can assure you she will not lose out, her sisters will ship anything on to her in Philippines. As far as I can remember, the contract I have specifies no. of hours to be worked per day (but not precise start/ finish times) and the rate of pay for any overtime, one day off per week, no staying out overnight etc. Cant remember exactly though... have to run now...good luck and good riddance : ) <em>edited by KH on 23/05/2013</em>

Passport, Maids Passport, Emirates ID and Tickets, that is all he needs at the immigration counter in Dubai airport. Stop dragging this out the next thing you know she will run away and leave you with an absconding case to file. yes, agree. And trust me, sending her home will be far easier then explaining to immigration why you allowed a maid who was no longer working for you to abscond/ work elsewhere / sleep out etc. If you call them and ask they will tell you the same as all other ladies have said on here, send her home! <em>edited by Purple on 23/05/2013</em>

Ok, point taken. I think she does deserve what she gets. She should not try and play her employer like this and may well present a risk to future employers. Her sisters will have to forward her stuff on for her I guess, as she doesn't have it here. And KH, that's exactly the point I was making. Firm and fair without compromising my beliefs. Contracts are standard. can we add details such as hours to them?

I do not believe that your DH needs anything other than his pp to cancel her visa.

Victoria 2 things, Why are you mentioning a fine ? there should be no fine. The maid can come back after one year, but the new employer will know that she was here before as when they do the visa it will show she received a ban, in Sharjah they inform us of this, in Dubai I have no idea, also her passport will show the cancelled visa unless she changes her passport. The cure is book the ticket, take her to the airport and say Masallama I think V means would she get a fine if she cancelled the maids visa and then the maid works in that month. Victoria, please send her home with NO warning.

The cure is book the ticket, take her to the airport and say Masallama Agree 100%. cut your losses, dont let this drag out for weeks. you can send her home today, and have the weekend to recover from the stress (and I know the stress you must be feeling!) before your guests arrive. it's not your problem how/ if she gets back, if she has to find work in another country away from her sisters etc etc. she has behaved in an unacceptable way, and these are the consequences of her actions. khalas.

You are right though, we are still trying to accomodate her. Is a ban for a year or 6 months? Does she deserve a ban when as far as we know she hasnt done anything really dreadful like steal or beat the children. She has behaved rudely and with disrespect, but that is hardly a criminal offence. You say you would not want to risk her playing up in your home before she finds a new employer. She wouldnt be here. The plan is to cancel the visa so she is not working here anymore and for her to stay with her sister. Presumably that will be considered a huge risk too as she is not under my nose being supervised. The alternative if we want to keep an eye on her is let her work here for a month and find a new job in that time. After a month we cancel her visa. She would be warned that if she dares to step out of line again we cancel her visa immediately. In my view, she does deserve a ban - you have paid a huge amount of money to sponsor her, she knows that, and has not held up her end of the deal. that is breaking her contract. why should you be AED10,000 out of pocket and she has the benefit of hanging about and finding another job on your time? If you let her stay and work elsewhere (and if she is living elsewhere, she will be working elsewhere), you risk a HUGE fine. I KNOW friends who have had to pay this 50,000 fine, and they THOUGHT they had hired a maid through a legitimate agency and had the contract to prove it. it turns out the agency was dodgy, the maid was illegal, was picked up at the airport on her way home for annual holiday, and our friends got a call from Immigration, had to go down and pay the fine on the spot or risk being put in jail for hiring a maid they had not personally sponsored. (i know in this case you are the sponsor, but that still puts you at risk for allowing her to work elsewhere as far as I know). In my mind, yor maid is not worth the risk or stress. I definitely wouldnt have her in my home, and to allow her to live out, work illegally until she finds a new sponsor, definitely not worth the risk also. You are not being heartless or a slave driver by sending her home, or infringing on her human rights. You are terminating a contract of employment and sending her home, as you are obliged to do. Nothing more, nothing less. FYI - I have another maid now that I do treat well (her words to me), but the t&c's are written in the contract, and we both stick to them. I am not unreasonable, but I do not encourage over familiarity and am willing to say 'no' when requests are made that do not suit me or bend the rules we have agreed to. She is happy as far as I know, as am I. You dont have to compromise your beliefs, just be firm and fair. <em>edited by KH on 23/05/2013</em>

Please send this woman home asap with a ban. I agree with Birchy. If you don't you may be reading someone else's post about this same woman in a few months time. In fact, I feel like I've read your post before somewhere ...

Birchy, when you put it like that (the risk of reprisals) it does not sound like a risk we can afford to take, nor should we for some one who has been rude, disrespectful and I think deceitful too. I/we have to stop being too nice (is there a cure?!). If we cancel her visa now can we still be fined? as I asked earlier, what is the difference to us of cancellign her visa now versus in a month? She would nto want to go elsewhere as most of her siblings are here (should have thought of that when she misbehaved though shouldnt she). I guess too that commenting positively on her work is not enough. A new employer really needs to be warned about her attitude, especially since she has now been dismissed twice in a row and has no previous reference either. what is to stop a maid coming back in a year and finding another job and lying about her expereience? she could say she had been in the Philippines and omit both jobs from here CV to get round the subject of bans/references couldnt she? or do the bans show up when a prospective employer tries to get a visa?

KH, my experience with this maid sounds very similar to what you describe with your first maid. I had cleaners and part time nannies in the UK too, and have treated our maid here similarly, though I have tried to keep my distance more. But she has had handouts (of things I was throwing out) and we have accomodated all her requests (or should I say demands). We have treated her as a human being, because that is how we are as people. We are all human and deserve to be treated as such. We are not going to abandon that principle going forward, but I think there are ways of being clear (from the start, in writing), tough and fair that would protect us from all this c*** in the future without having to turn into cold, heartless slave drivers. It is so sad though that accomodating behaviour like ours frequently seems to be abused rather than appreciated. You are right though, we are still trying to accomodate her. Is a ban for a year or 6 months? Does she deserve a ban when as far as we know she hasnt done anything really dreadful like steal or beat the children. She has behaved rudely and with disrespect, but that is hardly a criminal offence. You say you would not want to risk her playing up in your home before she finds a new employer. She wouldnt be here. The plan is to cancel the visa so she is not working here anymore and for her to stay with her sister. Presumably that will be considered a huge risk too as she is not under my nose being supervised. The alternative if we want to keep an eye on her is let her work here for a month and find a new job in that time. After a month we cancel her visa. She would be warned that if she dares to step out of line again we cancel her visa immediately. Thinking about her strange set up, ie the fact that she spends most of the weekend living out, has belongings at her sisters live out rooms etc, it occurs to me that she is not really a true live-in maid as it is understood in Dubai. It is debatable where she is living, part here (most of the time) and part there. Im not sure this is really on, or the way it is supposed to be. No wonder she wants all these conditions, she is acting much more like a live-out maid and I dont think her attitude or set up are suited to live-in work.

Birchy said it.