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How can you make your kids behave when maid is baby sitting?

80

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 14:04

I am looking for some advice from mums who employ maids

I get very irritated when I come back home and find my kids being out of control when I leave them with the maid for a few hours (I usually ask her to baby sit by two children age 5 & 2.5 for around 2 hours 5 day a week).

The other day I walked in and found my little one screaming, making a mess in his room with his toys and not practicing manners when asking for things. what should I do differently and how can I reinforce good behaviour and control while i am no at home?

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87

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 15:23

You also need to make sure that if she says no when you're around, it's her, not you who enforces the no. Don't resolve her discipline issues - ask the children what did X say? blah blah - well thats what it is then, don't come running to me, you heard her! You need to support her in front of the children. It's not easy. My helper told me that in a previous job, her primary role was to make sure the kids were quiet - and to do whatever that took! Being assertive can take some getting used to. Mine was always worreid I'd be upset she upset the children!!!!!!!

Princess_I45169

1953

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 15:20

maybe next time - get the maid to tell them off when you are there..... and get her to follow through with punishment.... You can be super nanny and the maid can be the hapless parent :)

80

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 15:18

Thank you ladies...I did try to teach her by making her observe how I respond to the children when certain behavours are not acceptable. I assumed that she will then be able to do the same thing. but all what i get when i am back home is "they didnt listen to me, i told them, but they didnt listen". I now know that I have to sit her down and teach her how to do it. I do speak to my eldest and tell her that the she needs to listen to the nanny and when I do so things are a bit better but not always...

498

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 14:26

I had the same thing with my maid when we first started ( my kids 5 and 3). After a very horrible afternoon at the mall, won't even bother explaining), I sat her down and told her that SHE was the adult and it is simply not possible to let a 6 and 3 yr old to control the situation. She was worried that they would cry if they didn't do what they wanted. I told her that as much as I love my children, I couldn't care less if they cried or created the biggest tantrum on the planet, as long as they learnt that when Mummy or Daddy are not around, SHE is responsible and that they must listen to HER. If she can't step up now, then they will run rings around her and then we can no longer leave them with her, and that means we would no longer need a maid to help us if I had to do everything myself. I then gave her ideas on what to say, what to do when certain situations arise. What's acceptable behavior and what's not. I told her that I know it's not easy, but as Princess put it - she has to step up. I also had some words with my children as well - especially my 6 year old who should no better. I told them that I had given the maid permission to turn off the TV or video games etc if they did not listen. And it has actually worked. We are in a much better place than we were before. My maid is really shy, probably like most, but I also think it simply took time for us all to get to know each other and to learn how to live together. Good luck!

914

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 14:19

Do you empower the maid when you are at home to say NO and give instructions? If so then ask her to repeat back to you what the childrem do and say when she does. Could it be her tone or body language. Assertiveness has to be taught and not expected. If you dont then the next time a child asks for something they are not to have, let the maid tell the child NO and you re-enforce her so you are putting up a united front. Hopefully the children get the message that she is in charge when you are not around.

Princess_I45169

1953

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 October 2011 - 14:15

you need to make the maid step up..... she's the adult.

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