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How should I handle this?

IrisB

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:28

Princess_I45169

1953

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 13:19

When my niece was a toddler, she is now 21, she called a little Indian boy at nursery school a "paki" (not in a nasty way - can't remember in what context she said it) - my SIL, who was standing near her was absolutely mortified and had no idea where she had picked this up from. It's not always the parents where children pick up things from.

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Tallybalt

654

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 12:39

Little kids are always saying silly things which shouldn't be taken too seriously. The best reply is to say "don't be silly" and roll your eyes and move on. That'll make the boy feel like a stupid brat. If the child persists, then it does become fair game to complain to the teacher and his parents that he's been saying inappropriate things.

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Lady Farquhar47462

103

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 12:39

Dear EW ladies, many thanks for your replies. As it's only been said once so far, i'll follow your suggestions and advise my DD to ignore it and not take it personally. If it happens again then it's a different story. Like you said, I find it really sad that innocent children are fed such negative ideas by their prejudiced parents. Thanks again and hope you all have a good weekend. You don't know her parents are prejudiced you have made an assumption based on what a 5 year old said to your child once. Hardly fair.

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Lady Farquhar47462

103

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 12:36

What would you advise your child to say if another child tells her that he hates people from her country? My daughter who's in year 5 has changed schools this year and is still obviously settling in and trying to make friends. A boy in her class tells her that he hates people from our country!!! BTW, it's an International school with a healthy mix of nationalitities. Any ideas? Tell her to ignore it and he is obviously a very silly little boy, also tell the teacher this is going on and can she deal with it please. If he continues tell your DD she is to tell the teacher straight away so the teacher can deal with it. As tempting as it is to tell your DD to trun around and tell the little boy he is a doughnut it's not really the way to deal with such things. Becareful you don't make it into a racist issue at this age, children are muppets and say lots of things they don't understand. SO make sure with your DD you just brush it off as someone being very silly, the only way she will survive in life against such comments is to make her strong at this age by not encouraging a chip on her shoulder so to speak. Hope that makes sense.

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IrisB

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 11:52

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AdviceSeeker13702

1100

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 09:32

It really depends on how often its been said, if its just once I'd ignore it, if it happens again, I'd tell her to say something like, "thats really not a nice thing to say and if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all" and if it happens again, I would report it to the teacher.

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tipahtertipu30118

112

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 09:12

i'd be tempted to just say it back like ' i don't like yours either' and then laugh it off! i suggest you write a note or email the teacher. tell the teacher that you are concern this would escalate etc.... let alone hurting your child's feeling as well as if he is instilling that idiotic ideas into her.... good luck!

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Sue6223852

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 09:09

Tell her to try to ignore him and mention it to the teacher.

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Ansie29592

134

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:50

Just explain to her that he obviously doesn't know much about your country or people from your country. It is not personal, it is just general ignorance. She should either avoid him or just be normal around him so he can see and learn that people from your country are actually very nice. (This kind of general hate against certain people, countries, races, etc usually stems from a lack of knowledge... and prejudiced parents!)

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hollyhook

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:44

She could always reply "I hate men" ;)

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Cyclone T22153

1579

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:40

I would counsel her to say nothing and walk away. Racists, even little ones, rarely accept commentary against their belief regardless of its delivery. It is always sad to realise that parents still feel it appropriate to negatively influence their children against a race or religion despite living in a multi-national environment.

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AnonDubai

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 22 September 2011 - 08:35

If he only said it once, I would leave it. If he is repeatedly saying it to your DD, then that is tantamount to bullying and I think it would be better for the teacher to be informed than for your DD to take him on herself.

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