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London Tube Announcements
A list of announcements that London Tube drivers have made to their passengers:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."
"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & A syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his ar$hole. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."
"We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."
"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your blo0dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your ar$e sideways!"
[i]Genuineness not validated.[/i]
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