London Tube Announcements | ExpatWoman.com
 

London Tube Announcements

1579
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 30 September 2011 - 07:10

A list of announcements that London Tube drivers have made to their passengers:

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & A syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his ar$hole. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."

"Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your blo0dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your ar$e sideways!"

[i]Genuineness not validated.[/i]

5499
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 30 September 2011 - 08:59
I used to work in the city, and one grey, wet morning, on pulling into Bank (one of the stops for the financial district where most of us alighted), the driver said "Have a good day - and can I say all you ladies are wearing particularly lovely blouses this morning" ! Oh how lovely, must have brightened quite a few ladies' day.
4329
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 30 September 2011 - 08:20
I love these funny announcements. There was a really funny guy on the Earls Court line earlier this year and he made the whole carriage laugh!
714
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 30 September 2011 - 08:17
I used to work in the city, and one grey, wet morning, on pulling into Bank (one of the stops for the financial district where most of us alighted), the driver said "Have a good day - and can I say all you ladies are wearing particularly lovely blouses this morning" !
 
 

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