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Lucky escape....

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 October 2011 - 08:50

I get what you're saying, Sue62. I had my first at 20, which I know is a lot older than 15, but as I look back, still too young. It's not that I don't love my kids, I love them more than anything and would never ever have chosen not to have them - as they are my life. I can't imagine my life without them. But I do think that it would have been better if I had started having kids a few years later. I do feel that I missed out on a lot of things. And if I could have had the same exact children, but had them later in life, I would have chosen that path, looking back now. It is a much easier (and more fun) path to go through university without children, much harder with kids, and there are so many people that just can't make it to where they could have once they have kids at a young age. I was lucky, not everyone is. I do know that I would be beside myself if my 17 year old was having a child now - I don't know many parents that would wish that on their children. I sincerely hope that my kids wait until they are much older than I was to have their children. Anyway, I suppose everything happens for a reason, and I don't regret anything. Who knows where my life would be now if my timing had been different? <em>edited by emmess on 06/10/2011</em>

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 06 October 2011 - 08:39

Good on your BIL Aroha. Sadly, from what we know of this girl I fear no such happy outcome and apologies if I sound judgemental - don't want to be but.... By lucky escape I was meaning that by coming here my son is having a totally different lifestyle and considers himself lucky to have found a school where the other kids actually want to learn and he isn't made to feel a nerd because he studies..... He hasn't seen this girl for years but speaks to mutual friends.. It also brings home the mantra that anyone with children should be aware of - there but for the grace of g0d go I....

blinkthink30773

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 October 2011 - 04:50

Well said arohadxb!! I have a couple of friends who got pregnant at school just as we were doing r a'levels. Now their kids r attending grammar schools doing their exam years, makes me feel old lol but you know what - it really wasn't the end of the world for either of them. I was out partying while she was up to her eyes in nappies etc and now my friends are partying while I'm up to my eyes now (getting ready for the next lot of nappies). My friends just got on with it and have made a success of their situation. They are still young enough to have a life now and they didnt get too hung up on all the books n rubbish you do when you're an older mum. Anyway - you have a lot more energy when you're younger to be pregnant and run after kids. That baby is a human being. Perhaps she's had a lucky escape! <em>edited by blinkthink on 06/10/2011</em>

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 23:12

While there is a whole culture of 'benefit mums' all around the western world and we can all a shake our heads and tut tut over it, and rightly so to a certain extent, my littlest bil and his partner got pregnant at 15. It was her second (but 1st viable) pregnancy too, and the whole family went into the expected collective shock. However, their little girl despite being born to infant parents, is THE most loved, well bought up, treasured child ever. Not only that my bil has proven himself to be a devoted hardworking father...right from the very begining. he was the 16 year old stacking supermarket shelves after school and nights to pay his way for the coming child and he has worked tirelessly to become a qualified expert in his field and a young man and father to be proud of. Judgement on anybody is a tricky thing...while one finger points accusingly, there are at least 3 fingers pointing back towards yourself. So while I get that you feel your son has had a 'lucky escape' (though how lucky it is after a period of some years has lapsed is a whole other conversation) and all of us would wish for better for our children, sometimes life just ain't that straight forward.

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 05 October 2011 - 22:20

My teen told me today that his "first love" (who he hasn't seen for a few years, fortunately !!) has just become pregnant for the SECOND time at 15.. Almost beggars belief that having had a miscarriage this girl has got herself pregnant again by the same 17/18 year old... Can't begin to imagine why these girls think like they do - we know another 15 year old who has been trying to conceive for a long while, she says because her mother had her first child at 14... Are their futures really so bleak that they see early motherhood as an attractive life choice ??

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