Now it's my DD and am cross! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Now it's my DD and am cross!

1617
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 22:05

This subject comes up fairly frequently and I tend to post a sypathetic response as I feel heart sorry for the poor girls and their mothers, but I try to be objective and advise speak to the mother concerned. But no more...this weekend saw my own DD as the only one in the class who had been excuded from a birthday party. I can understand petty scquabbles among 8 year olds but I really want to know why another mother would be happy to exclude one girl from a birthday party invite. DD fairly sanguine about it all ("well, she doesn't like me"), but as newcomers I had hoped for better

1617
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 12:02
Thank you all so much...great advice on the tyres by the way!!! Not really my style but tempting none the less!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 11:41
It does happen with boys! I've had to insist that all the boys in a class be invited rather than leave one disliked boy out on several occasions and it's a useful process for the birthday boy to go through. I've also had to apologise twice to mums whose kids I've accidentally not invited, in both cases because the didn't receive the invitation either manually, or via incorrect email addresses. If you don't have a response from someone, despite several communications/reminders, what can you do? Especially in Dubai where there are always mums who can't be bothered to reply in case something better comes up! Please don't automatically assume the mum is at fault. However, if she's being excluded from other things at school, then it's time to start making notes of any negative behaviour she's experiencing and talk to the class teacher as well as arranging lots of playdates with classmates. Your daughter sounds lovely and a pleasure for other children to be around. <em>edited by Frazzled on 10/04/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 11:30
Although we do teach our children how to handle such things in life, but it kind of pinches us somewhere to find our kids feeling neglected. I love the idea of cooking something special for ur child and trying to make them special. Atleast they do know.....no matter what. Mums are always there for them.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 11:27
Nah, Suze strut up to said mother netx time at school and apologise for not giving her your correct contact details for the party invite. Tell her your mortified to have missed it and watch her squirm her way right out of it. Make sure you do it very loudly in front of the other mums. PS,also let all her tyres down on a really hot day at pick up. *Like* SUPER LIKE!!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 11:21
I am glad this kind of thing don't happen amongst boys ^^
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 10:35
Suze63, that was pretty poor form from the parents of the birthday girl... If your dd was the only one from the class excluded, I totally understand where you are coming from. It's not like it was a small gathering for select friends, the whole class (minus your dd) was invited... odd.. Perhaps as you are new, your name is not on the 'class list' and the parents of the birthday girl do not know your DD is in the class? I hope it was an oversight on their part. hugs.
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 09:52
opportunities for positive learning experiences with your kids come up all the time. How the parents handle it will end up 'more than likely'how the child will handle it in the future. Sounds as if the little girl handled it superbly and mum can learn from this :). We do have to be aware of our childrens pain and we take it on board as our own :)..but kids are resilient and if the parent puts a positive spin on it after having a nice chat, the child will be able to deal with it in a good way. Just my thoughts
3220
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 07:16
Let it be. Doubt it if the mom knew only one child was excluded. At that age the kids make their own lists of people they want to invite.
401
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 02:25
This subject comes up fairly frequently and I tend to post a sypathetic response as I feel heart sorry for the poor girls and their mothers, but I try to be objective and advise speak to the mother concerned. But no more...this weekend saw my own DD as the only one in the class who had been excuded from a birthday party. I can understand petty scquabbles among 8 year olds but I really want to know why another mother would be happy to exclude one girl from a birthday party invite. DD fairly sanguine about it all ("well, she doesn't like me"), but as newcomers I had hoped for better Rise above it suze63 and bless your DD who seems to be the most mature of all of us! This is Dubai and which is so superficial. You should be proud of your daughter or at least yourselves in the way you have brought your daughter up. Good on you! x
210
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 01:44
Suze63, I love your girl's attitude...and at 8 years old! It takes decades for some of us to learn that it is ok to not be liked by everyone. Mom relax...I know it stings, but rest assured if it was done purely out of meanness it will unfortunately for the doer come back around. Sounds like some mums on this forum need to grow up themselves ... As a child I wasn't invited to some parties I thought I should have been invited to. My mother just told me that perhaps they'd just forgotten to invite me and not to worry about it and I didn't. Mum would cook me my favourite supper that night so if talk turned to the party at school the next day I'd be able to say how my mother had cooked my favourite meal and I didn't feel that I'd missed out on anything at all. Things don't change as you get older either, you know? How often do you hear about parties to which you haven't been invited? Do you get all bent out of shape about it? We know a couple who get upset if they don't get an invite to each and every party/dinner their neighbours have. How sad is that, given that they don't invite said neighbours to each and every party/dinner they have either?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 23:05
Nah, Suze strut up to said mother netx time at school and apologise for not giving her your correct contact details for the party invite. Tell her your mortified to have missed it and watch her squirm her way right out of it. Make sure you do it very loudly in front of the other mums. PS,also let all her tyres down on a really hot day at pick up. lol - I must remember this in case my DD is left off a party list !
671
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EW GURU
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 22:29
Nah, Suze strut up to said mother netx time at school and apologise for not giving her your correct contact details for the party invite. Tell her your mortified to have missed it and watch her squirm her way right out of it. Make sure you do it very loudly in front of the other mums. PS,also let all her tyres down on a really hot day at pick up. *Like*
1511
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 22:23
Nah, Suze strut up to said mother netx time at school and apologise for not giving her your correct contact details for the party invite. Tell her your mortified to have missed it and watch her squirm her way right out of it. Make sure you do it very loudly in front of the other mums. PS,also let all her tyres down on a really hot day at pick up.
3901
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 22:17
if it was me i would be relieved she didn't have to go to a party knowing the host child doesn't like her...
386
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 April 2011 - 22:14
Suze63, I love your girl's attitude...and at 8 years old! It takes decades for some of us to learn that it is ok to not be liked by everyone. Mom relax...I know it stings, but rest assured if it was done purely out of meanness it will unfortunately for the doer come back around.
 
 

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