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Question about small children and having no maid

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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:57
Suze, tell us your story. We are all ears. *opening Doritos* LOL!! Opens the can of worms! I emailed all the mothers, half of whom didn;t respond (the first surprise). I followed up with phone calls...one lady said she wasn't sure as she didn't know me (not relavent in my view as I wasn't inviting her for a sleepover), someone else said her DD could come but couldn't sleep there and someone else said she would need to ask her husband as she wasn;t sure (she eventualy said yes but her husband came with her to drop the child off and I thought for a moment he was going to ask to see the upstairs). When i was a kid, we were always off staying at someones house at the weekend and there was never any of this nonsense. I work full time and have done since DD was about 4 months so I guess my exposure to all this 'hands on' parenting has passed me by and I wasn't aware people thought like this.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:46
I don't think it's about being saintly. It's more to do with what individuals feel comfortable with regarding their kids. Back home, despite always having had live-in help, I'd never leave my kids alone with the helper - she would babysit but we had the advantage of having my MIL live with us and she would also keep an eye out on the kids. Living here, we have friends who offer but not only would I feel like I was imposing on them, I'd also worry about the kids not being used to them and then end up worrying about them instead of having fun. Different strokes for different folk... ;)
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:45
Please don't anyone shout at me, but don't you have friends who would babysit for a few hours. I'm a 53 year old grandma and once I have made some friends out here, certainly wouldn't be averse to the odd few hours of babysitting. Or am I living in the past when we used to help each other out. No you're not!! You're normal and decent, the way people always were. I didn't realise that many people think differently now (I work full time and am out of the mummy politics scene)...got a rude awakening when I tried to organise for all the girls in the class to do a sleepover at ours. What a palaver!!! We had good friends and neighbours who would babysit our 2 every now and again if we wanted to go to something special. I'm not saying it was a regular occurrence, but the odd few hours out certainly did me the power of good. And I don't think it made me a worse parent, to be honest it made me value my girls all the more. Also remember in the UK children still aren't accepted as readily as they are overseas.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:39
Suze, tell us your story. We are all ears. *opening Doritos*
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:36
We have friends who offer all the time, but i'd feel bad about asking them to give up their Thursday night rather than calling an agency out. Oh and I don't think anyone is making themselves out to be a saint - it's probably more a case of never getting round to organising it!
1617
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:32
Please don't anyone shout at me, but don't you have friends who would babysit for a few hours. I'm a 53 year old grandma and once I have made some friends out here, certainly wouldn't be averse to the odd few hours of babysitting. Or am I living in the past when we used to help each other out. No you're not!! You're normal and decent, the way people always were. I didn't realise that many people think differently now (I work full time and am out of the mummy politics scene)...got a rude awakening when I tried to organise for all the girls in the class to do a sleepover at ours. What a palaver!!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:27
Please don't anyone shout at me, but don't you have friends who would babysit for a few hours. I'm a 53 year old grandma and once I have made some friends out here, certainly wouldn't be averse to the odd few hours of babysitting. Or am I living in the past when we used to help each other out.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 14:16
Wow there are so many saints on this forum. How healthy is it for child and mom to be in each others face every waking moment, a little seperation is healthy for all. How do you remain sane? You don't need adult time? or "me" time? I always use a sitter from an agency and they are reliable and send the same lady every time. So we might not go out that often, but even a movie and dinner makes momma a happy woman. I agree with you..I've been surprised at this too!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 09:15
Before we had a maid, my DH and I never went out. Now that we have one, we sometimes do go out but only after the kids have gone to sleep. Even though our maid is very good, we still don't trust her for babysitting alone. I agree that it is hard to find a babysitter who you can trust.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 09:06
I think this thread might be a bit misleading for the OP. I have a wide circle of friends & acquaintances & they all go out without their children, frequently! The options are:- Agency babysitter Use your own maid Friend/friends teenager Maid sponsored by another family (not legal)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 09:03
I have a mate back in Australia who was the "Treasurer" of a "Baby-sitting Club". It was an interesting idea which started I think amongst a bunch of girls who were part of the same Mother's Group after their kids were born and then openned up to their friends "by invitation only". So they all knew and trusted each other. I think there were about 20 families involved in all. It worked something along the lines of a points system so no money exchanged hands, but you were allocated points according to the hours you babysat for someone else and then you could spend those points on having one of the other mums babysit your children. Apparently it worked quite well. The groundrules were pretty clear so no one felt they were being taken advantage of. It was a good solution for parents who didn't have family close-by or didn't want to put their trust in a stranger or the local teenager... I had a friend that did this too. Instead of trading money, they traded clothes pegs and you could use the pegs to redeem babysitting hours. Each person was assigned a different colour peg so you could keep track
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EW GURU
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 08:52
I have a mate back in Australia who was the "Treasurer" of a "Baby-sitting Club". It was an interesting idea which started I think amongst a bunch of girls who were part of the same Mother's Group after their kids were born and then openned up to their friends "by invitation only". So they all knew and trusted each other. I think there were about 20 families involved in all. It worked something along the lines of a points system so no money exchanged hands, but you were allocated points according to the hours you babysat for someone else and then you could spend those points on having one of the other mums babysit your children. Apparently it worked quite well. The groundrules were pretty clear so no one felt they were being taken advantage of. It was a good solution for parents who didn't have family close-by or didn't want to put their trust in a stranger or the local teenager...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 07:00
DD is 6 so if we HAVE to go out then it has to be on a Thursday/Friday and we try our best to be back by midnight.....the latest. Otherwise, we just don't go out either but we were lucky that one of our friends moved in our building and she has offered to taker her should we need some me time [url=http://www.desismileys.com/'>[img'>http://www.desismileys.com/smileys/desismileys_7002.gif[/img'>[/url'> <em>edited by MoFaya on 05/06/2012</em>
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 06:17
We don't go out. Same here. Little ones go with us everywhere and we are too tired at night anyways.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 05 June 2012 - 06:09
This was my NY resolution, to have date nights with DH at least once a month but here it is June and it hasn't happened yet :\: It's partly the cost (you hire a maid for 4 hours x 35 plus cabs etc), 'before you know it you have spent 250 AED before you step outside - then there is the time of planning it and booking it and the maid agency having someone available etc, and then for us, we both work so we are a) to shattered to do anything by the time it gets to 8pm lol and b) want to spend time with LO having been working all week. Oh well. They will all be at college soon, we can go then. lol. :\:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 23:53
I too haven't been out in years. Cinema, what's that? But it's a parenting choice and it's not going to be forever. I see my older sister taking in the movies with her older children and I know that's me someday...cannot imagine leaving her longer than 15 minutes with a non-relative. Not proclaiming to be a saint but I am totally with BMAP and purple on this. If you MUST I would advise getting a nanny cam. In each room.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 22:47
Wow there are so many saints on this forum. How healthy is it for child and mom to be in each others face every waking moment, a little seperation is healthy for all. How do you remain sane? You don't need adult time? or "me" time? I always use a sitter from an agency and they are reliable and send the same lady every time. So we might not go out that often, but even a movie and dinner makes momma a happy woman.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 21:59
We don't go out. yup, what she said. We don't go out, AND we have a full time live in maid. Just that, a maid, not a qualified nanny, first aider, mum etc etc. When my MIL comes over in December Im hoping to go for dinner with hubby, will be the first time in years :) It is what it is and all that.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 14:22
We don't go out. yup, what she said. We don't go out, AND we have a full time live in maid. Just that, a maid, not a qualified nanny, first aider, mum etc etc. When my MIL comes over in December Im hoping to go for dinner with hubby, will be the first time in years :) It is what it is and all that. We say everytime family come over we are going for a night out together [b'>and then the next thing we know we are at the airport putting them on a plane[/b'>. Because their holiday's over, or because they're bad guests? :) Depends on which set of parents :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 14:01
We do not go out without the children. if one of us wants to see a movie, then one of us goes and the other babysits.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:53
Pre live-in, I never went out without my DS.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:51
I am just lucky to have my in-laws live nearby, but in any case we go out once in a blue moon (although I do take advantage of in-laws by dropping one kid at the time if I need to go shopping, beauty salon or pick up DS from nursery)
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EW GURU
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:40
We don't go out either unless it's with our 4, 2 and 6 months old.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:39
We don't go out. yup, what she said. We don't go out, AND we have a full time live in maid. Just that, a maid, not a qualified nanny, first aider, mum etc etc. When my MIL comes over in December Im hoping to go for dinner with hubby, will be the first time in years :) It is what it is and all that. We say everytime family come over we are going for a night out together [b'>and then the next thing we know we are at the airport putting them on a plane[/b'>. Because their holiday's over, or because they're bad guests? :)
736
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EW GURU
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:37
We don't go out. yup, what she said. We don't go out, AND we have a full time live in maid. Just that, a maid, not a qualified nanny, first aider, mum etc etc. When my MIL comes over in December Im hoping to go for dinner with hubby, will be the first time in years :) It is what it is and all that. We say everytime family come over we are going for a night out together and then the next thing we know we are at the airport putting them on a plane.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:33
We go out maybe once a month alone. We have a friend with a teen that babysits for us. Granted, my children are older, maybe a year or two from being babysitters themselves so there isn't the same level of concern as one would have leaving an infant or toddler.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:29
A lovely lady was recommended to us...she's a teaching assistant in in a school (I know...before anyone chips in on the legality). DD really likes her (she can be quite fussy about babsitters) and we go out once or twice a week. We don;t have a maid
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:18
We rarely go out as we can't afford it but when we do we use a teen from one of the schools that my friend also uses or I also have an offer from another friend for the loan of her teen daughter :D <em>edited by onceuponatime on 04/06/2012</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:15
Hi, that was one of the reasons we decided to get a full time live in maid as we realised that my husband and I would never be able to go out together and I wanted to enjoy Dubai too!. We now have a maid who is a lovely girl that we trust. We do get to go out but tend to put our children down ourselves at night before we got out so she is only looking after them while they are sleeping. It works really well and we are all really happy here!!x
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 June 2012 - 13:00
Ditto BMAP and Purple...
 
 

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