someone owes me money but won't pay

Nice letter CT...... removing emotion is a smart idea.... I've always spotted mates money whenever they've needed it and they've done the same for me but it's always squared away in the end... I suppose the OP could take from this the fact that this person is not actually her friend. At least she can remove her from her circle and stop wasting her time with a taker...

It is hard asking for money when the debt is not yours and you do not know the debtor personally but it is even more difficult to ask for your own money from a person you know well. Emotion needs to be taken out of this situation so I recommend that you ask a third party to speak to her on your behalf. You could engage a debt collector or have a friend (not mutual) do so. If this seems to harsh you could always send a formal request via letter. ~~~~~ Attention: Ms Loana Moana [b'>Re: Delinquent Debt 1,000aed[/b'> Despite previous requests and numerous promises the amount of [b'>1,000aed[/b'> remains unpaid. Please be formally advised that payment in full must be received no later than [b'>Tuesday 22nd February 2010. [/b'>Failure to do so will result in legal action being implemented with all cost associated being borne by you. Alternately should an installment arrangement be requested the enclosed [b'>Acknowledgement of Debt[/b'> must be signed, notarised and received no later than [b'>Tuesday 22nd February 2010[/b'>. Please be aware that acceptance of any proposed installment arrangement amount or period is at my discretion. Yours Sincerely, Uaemom Gettingtough [i'>(register or courier the letter for more impact)[/i'> ~~~~~ Acknowledgement of Debt: I, Loana Moana, of Apartment 616, Building 7, Debt Village (0506 211 789) UAE Visa number 123456BB, hereby acknowledge that an undisputed amount of 1,000aed is owed to Uaemom Gettingtough. Signed Dated ~~~~~ Taking the matter to the police is only an option if you have documentary evidence of the transaction. I have not pursued an Acknowledgement of Debt in the UAE but it may be enough for the police to agree to accept the complaint. Once the complaint has been register you can then lodge a case with the court. Please be aware that these cases are viewed by value and the lower the value the less assistance is required [i'>This thread tells me that there are a lot of nice people in Dubai who are willing to put friendship before money :) It also tells me that I am not one of them :/:[/i'>

uaemum, I feel for you... I did not lend a great deal, just paid a vets bill for a friend and still waiting on reimbursement...:( never gonna happen.... I'm sorry that your supposed friend stole from you. There is no other way to put it. I would not let up if I were you. You sound like this has put you in a bad position financially and your DH may not be happy if you let up... Perhaps approach her and say "have I done something to offend or hurt you? I am wondering why you will not pay me back as I am in need?" Put it back on her. Treat it like she is deliberately not paying you back and put it on her to explain why she won't give back.... She needs to do whatever she has to do to pay you back and if that means selling her personal stuff on dubizzle.. so be it.. people like this anger me. You did not deserve to have her use you like this. hugs.

why not just tell her it's obvious she's not in a position to pay it back at the moment so you're not going to mention it for 3/6/whatever months. If you want to you can try to continue the friendship without the constant pressure..And when the x months is up either you'll get your money or you won't, either way it's a lesson learned and possibly a friend lost.

A friend asks to borrow a good amount of money. #1. You tell her you will give it to her, not lend it to her. or #2. You tell her you will lend her the money and that you will draw up a legal document about the loan and some kind of repayment schedule that she has to follow. You can charge interest, or not. or #3. You tell her that no way in hadies would you lend her or any friend money as your friendship is too important if something should happen and she does/cannot pay you back :) or #4. You tell her that you have a very firm policy of lending money over 200dhm to anyone for any reason unless they follow #2 and the reason is #3 lol.. I would say your friend might be upset with you in the beginning but if the friendship is valued, she will find the money from someone else...(sorry, not everyones friends will do that but we must have a safety net to fall into when needed :))

If you're serious about a police case, since she seems like she wants you to think she's paying you back, you could request a cheque for the money she owes you now, and then put together a payment plan (once you got the cheque), and then let her know after you get the cheque if she defaults on the payment plan you'll take her to the police... obviously before you get the cheque you'll have to ask her nicely rather than threaten... anyway I do agree with people who say if you're lending a friend money even though lending with the intention to get it back, be prepared that you'll never see it again...

Great advice! I sent this link to my sister. She loaned the equivalent of dhs100 000 to someone she is very close to. Today three years later,the friendship is gone and still no money repaid...

Very well put ! Good advice for us all to note. Let me introduce you to your friend... Your friends name is X. X is a compulsive spender. She has no control over what she buys. X gets paid on Thursdays. On Thursday and Friday she lives like a Queen, on Saturday through Wednesday she lives like a pauper. To get her from Saturday to Wednesday, she borrows money off people/porns her things/does small jobs to get pittance. If you meet her on these days you will feel such pity for her. Because, on these days, she genuinely is sorry for having wasted her money and genuinely is in a bad place, so it's obvious you'd believe her. On those days, if she had money, she imagines she would pay you back. Then it's Thursday again and the money is paid. She has spent the week 'poor' so needs to make herself feel better. She is a queen again. Dinners, movies, new clothes... but doesn't want to pay people back because 'she's doesn't have the money to pay you back... she's only got enough money to cover the bills' (bills in this case are the things she's dreamed of buying all week). Point of this tale? When you tell her you want the money and put the pressure on, you're making the chances of repayment slimmer. Why? Because Saturday to Wednesday X gets depressed and 'wishes' she had money. 'If only I had money, then I wouldn't be in this mess :(' Come Thursday, she has to spend more on herself because she's felt so down this week and you are now making her feel bad for spending the money on herself so she spends more on herself to get rid of that guilt. She eats more, shops more... For as long as she is in this cycle you will never get your money. You could discuss a 'payment plan' with her and have her sign a payback agreements, giving you something signed to enforce in a court against her. But even if you do enforce it against her, it's contract law. You will need to open a civil case against her and pay a lawyer to go to court to get it back, or represent yourself and sit in a pile of people also trying to get their money back. She will then agree to settle. She won't. You'll be back in court. She'll agree to settle it again. She won't. It's a long cycle. It's not a criminal offense to breach a contract so the police won't have anything to do with it. You don't need her to 'be honest and say she can't repay it', because she won't do that. You need to be the controller and step out and call it as it is. She will not pay this back. If she does, that's miraculous. But, I wouldn't bank on it.

lesson learned. Lend a friend money, think of it as giving your friend money, do not expect it back. If you can afford to lose the money then lend it, if not, don't. I think at this point the barn door has closed and you might as well accept the fact the money is not coming back to you. End the friendship if you must but forget the money. If she does pay you wonderful....or, you could get angrier and angrier but, unless you have a paper that says she received the loan from you, you might as well just move on. I agree!!! :(

Let me introduce you to your friend... Your friends name is X. X is a compulsive spender. She has no control over what she buys. X gets paid on Thursdays. On Thursday and Friday she lives like a Queen, on Saturday through Wednesday she lives like a pauper. To get her from Saturday to Wednesday, she borrows money off people/porns her things/does small jobs to get pittance. If you meet her on these days you will feel such pity for her. Because, on these days, she genuinely is sorry for having wasted her money and genuinely is in a bad place, so it's obvious you'd believe her. On those days, if she had money, she imagines she would pay you back. Then it's Thursday again and the money is paid. She has spent the week 'poor' so needs to make herself feel better. She is a queen again. Dinners, movies, new clothes... but doesn't want to pay people back because 'she's doesn't have the money to pay you back... she's only got enough money to cover the bills' (bills in this case are the things she's dreamed of buying all week). Point of this tale? When you tell her you want the money and put the pressure on, you're making the chances of repayment slimmer. Why? Because Saturday to Wednesday X gets depressed and 'wishes' she had money. 'If only I had money, then I wouldn't be in this mess :(' Come Thursday, she has to spend more on herself because she's felt so down this week and you are now making her feel bad for spending the money on herself so she spends more on herself to get rid of that guilt. She eats more, shops more... For as long as she is in this cycle you will never get your money. WOW do you know the friend? That's quite an assumption you have concluded.

Hi, Just to let you know. Whatever are the opinions of all the ladies here if, one day, your husband and you really want to see back your money you MUST put pressure on this woman. If you have some proof of the lending like a paper signed by her, or some pdc, tell her that if she doesn't reimburse at a said date you will officially be obliged to take action against her. After all it's not a question to get angry but to make sure that she has enough pressure on her to reimburse. Otherwise she might not take you seriously and invent EVERY pretext to not give back YOUR money !! Tell her that you also have a life, that you have commitments like renting school grocery shopping, everything to remind her that she's not the only one in the world who has obligations. There's also an other possibility. Maybe she's telling you all her looking-for-money-to-give-it-back just to show you she's in appareance doing something because she's just telling you lies. Everyday there is a new lie offered to you so she doesn't have to feel the real worry of reimbursing you. She doesn't care in fact of the difficult situation it is putting you and your husband. She only cares of herself and of her way or living. Tell her that by this way she's showing you her true mind to your family. You'll make sure, you and your husband, FIRST that she can't do other victims AND SECOND that WHATEVER NEW LIE SHE PRETENDS TO TELL YOU if she doesn't give you back the money at a said date you will take official action against her. It's your life, it's your dignity !! Lending is not giving !! <em>edited by Baklawas on 12/02/2011</em>

Just ask for some post dated cheques and tell her she can pay it back in smaller amounts. At least you have the cheques, and can always 'police' them if need be. Even if you have no intention of doing so, she may be nervous about it.

Suggest you have a sit down chat with friend and talk through the issue being sensitive and honest. It's blatant the friend has serious money issues so rather than just compounding see if you can help her sort the issues with an outside perspective and at the same time organise a re payment plan. Many ways to catchee monkey.

neither a lender nor a borrower be... but cr@p advice for the OP - sorry, lol

lesson learned. Lend a friend money, think of it as giving your friend money, do not expect it back. If you can afford to lose the money then lend it, if not, don't. I think at this point the barn door has closed and you might as well accept the fact the money is not coming back to you. End the friendship if you must but forget the money. If she does pay you wonderful....or, you could get angrier and angrier but, unless you have a paper that says she received the loan from you, you might as well just move on.

You need to get mad in person - texts are too impersonal and easy to ignore. You and your husband should hash out a repayment plan and then go and give it to her, telling her that it is unacceptable behaviour and you've had enough! Doubt police can do much without some kind of written agreement (FYI, even a hand written agreement will be acknowledged by police here)

suggest her to pay off in parts, but as izzy said, I either don't loan money or if I do, then I forget about them immediately

Think the police is going a bit far I meann do you have a signed paper from her saying she owes you

Ask her what she can afford to pay back on a weekly basis, or tell her your terms for repayment and get the ball rolling.....

is it a lot of money? Perhaps chalk this up to experience and always remember the old saying "never loan what you aren't willing to give"