Has anyone been through this? | ExpatWoman.com
 

Has anyone been through this?

15
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 December 2012 - 22:01

Hello, I am a mom to a beautiful 2 year old girl who was conceive after two unsuccessful ivf cycles. In September whilst on our first family holiday to Scotland I discovered I was pregnant, naturally this time and baby would be born at the end of May 2013. It was such an amazing surprise, not only the news itself but also knowing that's could get pregnant after all. We did all the tests as I am at high risk of ectopic but all came back perfect. Well that was until the 14th of November when we went for the nt scan and we discovered our baby was at high risk of having either trisomy 13 or 18. I was advised to have a cvs which I did and then we waited for the results. The results came back as the doctor had expected, our baby had trisomy 13 and was a baby girl just as I had felt all along. The next day I went to discuss the results with my obgyn and after I told her I didn't feel the baby move in recent days she checked the baby and she could not find the heartbeat. My baby was 13 weeks and 3 days old, I named her Francesca. I was sent for another ultra sound which confirmed the same finding. I was admitted for a missed miscarriage the same day under general anesthesia.

I am still grieving and trying to understand why this has happened. I am not allowing myself to think about it too deeply as I need to move on with my life and look after my family and I need to get out of bed every morning. I am wondering if there are any other women who have been through something similar who wouldn't mind sharing their experiences and how they went on with their lives after such loss. I know I would love more kids but I am so frightened of having this happening again, I am now sure I could ever go through it again. Thanks in advance.

207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:35
Yes you will find the strength to heal ! Let the time do it's work and, you, try to change your mind with things that you like and that can bring you some smiles in this sad time It can be anything from a nice little hug from your husband, watching a movie or tv series you love and eating lots of cake, have a walk outside or at the mall This baby is still your baby, it is just that she has gone elsewhere... You have given her a name this is wonderful ! , you can also speak to her, you can send her prayers that she transmits to God My love and prayers are with you So sorry for you Chiara, it can be devastating. As someone who has been through something very similar and a little farther along than you I know how closed and dead and dark the world can feel. One word of advice - you may be underestimating the power of your hormones at the moment, or rather the utter depression and loss of hope that frankly is being created by a sudden drop in a high hormone level from a pregnancy that far along. This is not in any way to diminish the real emotional toll this is taking as a loss - I remember feeling almost instantly better after a few weeks had passed and my hormones had balanced back out to normal. Hang in there, it does get better.
271
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:29
...feeling deeply for you...be kind to yourself and remember that your grieving process is normal.
12
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:23
Yes you will find the strength to heal ! Let the time do it's work and, you, try to change your mind with things that you like and that can bring you some smiles in this sad time It can be anything from a nice little hug from your husband, watching a movie or tv series you love and eating lots of cake, have a walk outside or at the mall This baby is still your baby, it is just that she has gone elsewhere... You have given her a name this is wonderful ! , you can also speak to her, you can send her prayers that she transmits to God My love and prayers are with you
15
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 07:23
Thanks ladies for your replies and for your words of encouragement. Candyfloss, thanks for sharing your story and the offer to talk. I am not up for it at the minute but hopefully in the future as I am sure it'll help with the healing process. I wonder if I will ever find the strength to.
281
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 December 2012 - 09:19
Chiara, how sad, I am so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately about 95% of babies with trisomy 13 miscarry or are still born and only 5 - 10% of babies with trisomy 13 survive beyond their 1st birthday. You might be better to get some professional help during this time. It has only been a few weeks, and the GA can sometimes take 6 weeks to recover from, never mind the traumatic circumstances.
165
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 December 2012 - 00:51
Hi Chiara- firstly I would just like to say I'm deeply sorry for your loss, nothing can ever prepare you to feel such pain and sorrow! I too went through a similar experience, except mine was a baby boy and had trisomy 21- Downs. If you would like to ever chat about it to someone who knows what you are going through, please feel free to email me- Joanneslmn at yahoo dot com I know it might not feel like it now but with time it gets better x
296
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 December 2012 - 23:54
I am sorry, I have no answer for you but I will remember you in my prayers and god will give you the strength to handle this situation.
 
 

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