How do you discipline your children? | ExpatWoman.com
 

How do you discipline your children?

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 14:14

Been having a nightmare week with my 4 year old not eating! Even things I know he likes he is abstaining from eating as if he is trying to starve himself. Tried the whole bribery about dessert but today I have told him we are not goi round his best friends house and that has really hit a nerve he is so upset but I am trying to stand my ground on this one if he does now eat then he has a to pay consequences, I feel terrible but I have had a long 4 year battles with him and food so I have to take drastic measures, the only down side now is what to Do with him now all afternoon???? I am 39weeks pregnant so feeling shattered and uncomfortable as it is so have not got any energy for much any ideas or have I just been a really really bad mummy as that is how I feel right now (fat pregnant and emotional so probably taking things too much to heart)

596
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 18:49
You are 39 weeks pregnant, Give yourself a break and just give him savoury.forget desert. Give child small amounts of foods and keep giving him one or two pieces and in time it will increase when he is hungry. Do seek advice when your up to it but remember your having a new baby and trying to cope with everything will be tough. keep healthy . I think i will take him to our clinics nutritionalist see what they say. Incidentally my second one who is now15 months eats brilliantly takes him5 minutes to eat his lunch of spaghetti Bol and yogurt! He is brilliant just got to hope the third is the same. Thanks I am feeling a little better now
2782
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 15:32
Just to be on the safe side, have you checked for silent reflux, it can cause food aversion. Does he say why he doesn't want to eat and how is his weight? I know food can be a power play for kids but I personally don't really like the idea of punishments or bribes revolving around eating, it serves to create further negative food association. Would you punish one of your kids for overeating? That said you have made the punishment so don't back down, that would be too confusing for him and you are not a bad mummy for worrying about his health. As far as what to do all afternoon, can you make food into a positive thing. Can he maybe spend some time helping mummy cook (you could make him a little apron, he could give you a number of vegies, mash potatos, mix a cake etc) He might just turn around and surprise you by eating something he helped create especially if you don't make a big deal out of it. I think he has already had his consequence so you needn't worry that he is being rewarded for his behaviour.
2340
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 15:02
My son will be 6 in July and since he turned 2 he has been the most fussy eater I can imagine. There are days he would not eat at all because yesterday's favourite food has become today's most disgusting. ;) It does drive me a little mad and every time I prepare yet another meal based on mince, I want to scream. :D As long as your son is like mine...healthy, growing, active, happy, sleeping etc etc...I honestly don't think there's anything to worry about. I always try to include something in every meal that I know he'll eat and if that's all he has in that meal, that's his choice. (eg tonight - butter chicken, veges and rice - he ate plain white rice). I operate on "choose your battles". If my son eats a reasonable variety of food over a week, I'm happy. He's only presented with healthy choices so he cannot fill up on cr*p. The odd dreadful meal or dreadful day or hunger strike no longer gets my blood pressure up. A paed once told me that food issues are often a wee power play for children because it's one thing they can control. Nothing to worry about as they're just doing what kids do and testing boundaries. My son is finally, slowly getting better and trying new foods (or old favourites!). The improvement has come since I stopped making it an issue. I serve food, he eats it or not and no discussion goes into it. ;)
7
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 14:34
I think i will take him to our clinics nutritionalist see what they say. Incidentally my second one who is now15 months eats brilliantly takes him5 minutes to eat his lunch of spaghetti Bol and yogurt! He is brilliant just got to hope the third is the same. Thanks I am feeling a little better now
436
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 14:31
Lanelle Chapmen...I found her very cold, but she is meant to be very good, she does all the testing....but be warned it is expensive. Or a nutritionalist? I have never really had food battles with mine...so to me I would say definately have him checked out, as for the food thing to have gone on so long....having said that an aquaintences child was like this and it turned out to be attention seeking...which seems a little extreme
7
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 14:23
We have thought about taking him to the doctors! But never really done anything as all health visitors from UK say is 'keep trying' which after 4years I am so fed up with. Any reeccomendations for one?
436
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 May 2011 - 14:20
Stick to your guns....you may decide that in future it's not a suitable consequence, but the important thing when you give a consequence that you stick with it, and it sounds like you have found one that he won't want to miss out on. On another not, have you had him checked out to make sure there is no "medical" reason for not eating? an intolerance (you'd go to a homeopath for that) or an allergy?
 
 

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