My 17 month old will not take food from mummy or daddy!! | ExpatWoman.com
 

My 17 month old will not take food from mummy or daddy!!

35
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 March 2012 - 22:51

Hi - I am in real turmoil, my little boy who is just turning 17 months will not take food from me or my husband. He has it in his head that only his Nanny feeds him. Ive tried everything. I think it comes from when I went back to work and he just started solids and she fed him all his meals. Now he sees her as his feeder and me and daddy as the nurturing / play roles.

I am no longer working and he refuses every meal - I can keep him sat in his high chair for maybe 5 minutes maximum and he will refuse to be spoon fed or even eat finger food without trying to climb out. I only spoon feed him some fruit puree or yoghurt or his weetabix as he is still learning the spoon as i am desperate to ensure he gets good nutritional food sometime in the day but its a huge battle of wills (mostly i end up in tears in the kitchen!) and he is upset then as he is hungry. I dread Fridays - i feel like all day we just try to feed him! Worst of all his nanny goes on leave for a month end of March so im trying my hardest to get him to feed with me, still no chance. (baby no.2 is due next week as well which inflates the problem as i wont have hours to try and try) We end up trying to chase him around the house getting food in his mouth which i know is not the right thing to do!

Has anyone else had this issue? Maybe you send your child to nursery or have a nanny and have the same issue ? How do you deal with it? Are there any feeding experts in Dubai?!

604
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 07 March 2012 - 08:15
Thanks for the tips / advice ladies. Wont be chasing him around any more! We do try and sit with him for one meal a day at teatime and he will eat when we are eating but only for a few minutes then insists on getting down form the big table as well (uses a stokke chair so same height etc as us) This stresses me as i know he hasnt eaten enough then winges he is hungry and tries to pull us from the table to go play or walk with him! He can use a fork but isnt great with a spoon yet which is why his nanny intervenes; he will not let me and daddy feed him which is what i am trying to change but now thinking of it maybe i should just let him get on with it and stop any of us trying to spoon feed him. He started solids late - he was born with cleft lip and palate so i couldn't really get him on decent solids till 1 year which was after his operation, otherwise it gets stuck in their palate and would choke) so maybe that has been detrimental to his development with cutlery. He is fine with a sippy cup. Nursery they sit together on low seats and eat. Not sure how he gets on but i only ever send him with finger food and the box is pretty much empty when he comes home, Hi Alilaslett....I can now fully understand why, and I would not be so concerned as it is only 5 months since he began to learn to feed himself. Your idea to have consistency across all his carers is the most important thing, AND let him see that he needs to feed himself or there will be no food, is a good plan...best wishes
35
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 March 2012 - 23:27
Thanks for the tips / advice ladies. Wont be chasing him around any more! We do try and sit with him for one meal a day at teatime and he will eat when we are eating but only for a few minutes then insists on getting down form the big table as well (uses a stokke chair so same height etc as us) This stresses me as i know he hasnt eaten enough then winges he is hungry and tries to pull us from the table to go play or walk with him! He can use a fork but isnt great with a spoon yet which is why his nanny intervenes; he will not let me and daddy feed him which is what i am trying to change but now thinking of it maybe i should just let him get on with it and stop any of us trying to spoon feed him. He started solids late - he was born with cleft lip and palate so i couldn't really get him on decent solids till 1 year which was after his operation, otherwise it gets stuck in their palate and would choke) so maybe that has been detrimental to his development with cutlery. He is fine with a sippy cup. Nursery they sit together on low seats and eat. Not sure how he gets on but i only ever send him with finger food and the box is pretty much empty when he comes home,
604
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 05 March 2012 - 22:14
oh sorry, mine are a lot older now, but they were feeding themselves from 12 months by spoon and using fork and spoon by 18 months. I sat with them all meals, for choking reasons as much as anything and we ate one family meal together each day from about 20 months old. I think that putting the child in the chair gives them time to eat, BUT it reads like yours does not like the high chair and I expect at 17 months he is too big for it.....we had a booster seat which we attached to a regular chair at that point and then your child can join you at the meal table. They do need to understand the discipline of sitting at the table, and we liked to encourage that from day 1, but if your dining style is more casual then a more subtle approach is the way to go..... It maybe a phase anyway, and nursery/school will bring to the fore the idea of sitting at tables for eating....
2782
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 March 2012 - 09:09
I'm not so keen of the idea of leaving him strapped to chair crying for 20 minutes, its making food about discipline which doesn't appeal to me. (but I only have one child so maybe I'm less of an expert) ;) Do you eat your food (the same food) with him when you feed him, toddlers love to be involved in what you are doing and copy mummy etc. I would try though making a platter of finger food and putting it on a low table throughout the day so he can come and feed himself, don't make a big deal out of the food. I still spoonfeed my 19 month old his yoghurt etc most of the time (he has his own spoon as well) and I don't see it as a big deal at all, but he has a great attitude to food in general. Agree don't chase him around with food, it makes it into a game/battle of wills and you are coming off as the loser.
604
Posts
EW GURU
Latest post on 04 March 2012 - 23:00
I would advise you to strap him in the chair, over a splat mat and leave him with the spoon/fork and food...eventually he will eat it. Please do not worry, he will not starve. If you are worried, offer a snack mid morning and mid afternoon (grapes, mini crackers etc) Also instruct said Nanny that she is to do the same, no more feeding him herself..he is 1.5 years old and at this stage will be able to do that eventually, although it will be messy for a while. Only leave him in the chair for 20 mins max, then remove him, clean down and move on to the rest of the day. Good Luck! And no following him around the house with food, as he will only see it as someone else's job to do this for him. I do understand how you are feeling, but nature will not allow him to go hungry for long....is he holding his own drinking cup? I have 3 kids, so I have been there. <em>edited by loube on 04/03/2012</em>
 
 

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