Question for breastfeeding + bedsharing mums

Hi Sunsa I am exclusively breastfeeding my 5.5 m.o DS and we co-sleep. We tried the CIO method and putting him in his cot for about 6 weeks and it didn't work so we thought to leave him in the bed with me til a later stage. My DH sleeps in the second bedroom so just me and DS in bed. I always place a pillow between DS and the edge of the bed. I feed him lying down, but never "cradle" him in my arm when doing so (in case I fall asleep) Instead I lay on my side with a pillow under my head and my arm closest to DS stretched out under the pillow (if that makes sense) or I bend my arm under the pillow to rest my hand under my head so not to accidentally bump DS during the night. I am usually a very deep sleeper- not so much anymore LOL, but I hardly move in my sleep. If I do need to move I would move further away from DS and stretch out etc. DS doesn't cluster feed anymore like he used to months ago. Lately he has been sleeping through and if I ever hear him starting to fuss or toss and turn I would give him a feed which is usually only a few minutes long and he would be asleep again. And sometimes between 3 and 5 he might wake and I'll change him and give him a feed, but he is usually in a very sleepy state still. If your DS is still cluster feeding, it might just be for the comfort, not so much the feeding. If he wakes frequently or fusses a lot during the night, maybe try a pacifier or patting him etc, so he does not necessarily associate waking with the b**b. But as someone mentioned before- as he is 6 months and most likely starting solids he will slowly sleep much longer. My DH doesn't mind- of course we would both love for him to be back in our bed, but he is an extremely light sleeper and once woken takes forever to fall asleep again- so he will return once DS is definitely sleeping through without waking at all - if that will be ever lol :-) As H.A.K said, if you don't enjoy it, don't do it. I also was worried about forming a bad habit. In the end we had to do what worked for us so that we all could get a good night's sleep, stress free. And I love co-sleeping with DS, I even find I sleep better when he is with me rather than in his cot- as I am cnstantly waking checking him in the cot. So decide what you feel most comfortable with and if co-sleeping is it, then do it as long as you are happy to. Good luck xx

I occasionally brought my two into bed to feed, but would then get up and put them back in their cot (in our room, if not right next to my side of the bed. I too couldn't sleep soundly whilst co-sleeping and would wake up as still as a board. As others have said, sleeping with bubs in between you and DH isn't very safe - I used to evict DH if kiddo was poorly and we were in it for the night, or just feed cuddling on the edge, knowing that they'd be back in their cot for sleeping. Habits? Yes, you are probably forming one, but some people enjoy co-sleeping. If you don't, then don't do it. Simple as that. Ironically, your co-sleeping could be making you feel more tired than if you "just" got up in zombie mode. DS was one to feed every 2h past midnight and I'd literally hear him, lurch out of bed, pick him up, feed him sitting, pop him back, lurch back into bed... on automatic. Some nights I couldn't even remember feeding him or putting him back, but I did!

I think that you are almost there. don't worry, your baby is 6 months, so you must have started or about to start introducing solid food. that will help a lot. whenever the baby starts having a late solid meal, the stomach will be full and sleeps for long hours, or at least more than two. as for us, i bring the little girl to our bed nearly in the morning. she would've slept couple of hours - me too. by then ill put her beside me, my sleep is extremely light, but in case i decided to put her bw. me and DH I'll add a pillow bw. them - i dont think that he will wakeup if rolled over her. she is still 14 weeks but about her 6month if she was ready to have solid food, then i am promising myself with better sleep

I tend to bring my baby into bed between 3 m and 7am (or should I say did, poor guy has been cut off recently). That way you are past your heavy sleep and tend to be more easily aware of baby. I always bring my pillow a little way down the bed and wiggle down while putting baby up higher (more like where a second pillow would be) so that there is no way I could pull the duvet over the baby by accident. He sleeps within arms reach but not "in my arms" so that if he stirs I can give him a wee pat without either of us waking up. I found it did cut the number of night wakings and we both got more sleep but I have stopped it now as I felt like he was wanting to come to my bed earlier and earlier and I didn't want it to get to the point that he wouldn't sleep in his crib at all. I would never sleep the baby between myself and my husband, totally not safe. I am a light sleeper and tend to stay in one spot, if you are not confident you can do this then your best bet would be to get a co-sleeper crib which is basically a cot with one side taken off which is the same height as your bed, that way you can reach and pat the baby without risk of rolling on her. Short answer, yes you are creating a habit that you might later struggle to break but if you are not ready for tough love (or it has failed) then it might just keep you alive another few months until you confident your baby can do without the night feeds. Waking every 2 hours is not a hunger thing it is habit, so your baby is unlikely to grow out of it on her own (I'm guessing she feeds to sleep/has a dummy/is rocked to sleep). From talking to people if you don't force the baby out of the habit at some point then you pretty much have to wait until they are 2 before they will let it go themselves.

you have been doing this for 6 months? or you just wan tto start now, after 6 months? i will tell you what i have been doing and my dd is 6 months. I delivered back home and my husband wasn't there for the 1st 3 months, so i did a mix i had a bassinet right next to my bed, and i would stay up at night till like midnight, so i got used to putting her down for her sleep at like 8pm... then she would wake up at like one when i was just getting to bed so i would nurse her and put her back into her bed, then after that, i would just bring her into bed with me so i could just nurse her... well time passed now the 2 1/2 -3 months i have had a similar routine, now i am back home with daddy. at first i was a little nervous to bring my dd in our bed, but i totally had gotten the laying down and bf thing down to a T, mind you, like you said falling asleep like that is soo uncomfortable, and you know it as you wake up... (eeck, my back and neck have never needed tlc like this before... ) so here is our schedule: at around 7 -730 i give DD a bath and massage, and if i am not to exhausted,i read her a story do some its bitsy yoga and relaxing time.. then after that around 730 -8 ish i feed/nurse her, since we have only bf she finds it very calming and sadly i will admit she wont fall asleep on her own without my boob in her mouth :/ but oh well... if she does i am amazed... after that when she falls asleep i put her to sleep in her crib, that is in her nursery, and lately, as of last week, she has been sleeping soundly through the night only waking at like 4 30 am or 6:30 am if i am so lucky, then i bring her to bed and lay down and nurse her there... she sleeps till like 8 am. sometimes i wake up before 4 am and take her to my front room and feed her but that takes only a couple minutes, and sometimes we fall asleep on the couch together. after that i put her in her crib. its only when i notice the sky turing colors do i bring her to my bed. when she is in bed with me i find that my husband loves it and now is sorta programmed to sleeping on the edge of the bed, as with me, there is now a big gap between us i dont mind that though, cause when we wake up to our dd in the morning she is soo happy and talkative compared to when she wakes in her crib. yes she does do the snacking thing, but dont worry i dont think it will ruin her... just be happy you soothe her. in the end i am sure tat will give her confidence , she will always know you are there for her as her comforting loving mommy... i may be rambling on... if you want e-mail me my addy is julianneandrews at mac dot com... i would be happy to talk about this or any other mommy thing... like achy backs or what have you : ) the things we do for our wonderful babies :)