I don't wish to let him cry it out since he really is a good boy, he has maybe cried a total of 30minutes since he was a born, so it would just feel wrong.
edited by Umm A on 14/09/2012
One thing the sleep consultant pointed out was that even though listening to them cry is hard, it's the only way they can communicate so they can be crying because they are frustrated and angry, or stressed because they are overtired. One thing that helped me was realising it was not something I was doing to him, but FOR him. My DS was a happy "good" boy too who had hardly ever cried and thankfully we only had to let him cry for twenty minutes... and in fact teaching him to sleep this way made him a happier boy....as he was not overtired anymore. he never once became upset with us outside of this and always had a big smile in the morning.
But I am not trying to get you to CIO, just explaining what we did and a different point of view. I hope you find a no cry solution so you are all getting more sleep.
I had also bought and read the no cry solution but realised on reading it that I had already tried most of the solutions in there which is why in desperation we resorted to a sleep coach thinking it would be a nightmare, when in fact within a few nights of hardly any crying we were sorted....
As for bedtimes, we are quite strict. If DH gets home late from work that's too bad, he'll see him the next day and make up for it on the weekend....keeping him up is not worth it as he's much happier and sleeps better with his regular bedtime.
<em>edited by sydneygal on 15/09/2012</em>
Oh I feel for you. I don't have any suggestions as all the sleep coaches I've heard of here seem to use CIO methods. Hopefully the no cry works for you.
My boy is always in bed by 7, and I find after that he's overtired and it can take ages to settle him. That must be very hard if your husband is not home till 7.30 though.
Good luck :)
Thank you :). I really hope this will work also, the CIO/CC is just not for us, there must be better alternatives.
I would love the 7pm bedtime, more time to be just me and more couple-time, by the time its 6pm i am pretty much done for the day, but i would feel like I robbed my son and husband of their bonding time if we changed the bedtime and the starting the day at 1-3am when he sleeps earlier is just aahhgggrr. He do seem to be happy about sleeping around 9:30, it only takes him about 5-10minutes to settle.
Hopefully he will sleep through the night within the next 9 years :P
Thank you very much, I would really appreciate it, my email is [email protected]
The articles look really good and I have made sure to save them, especially the weaning one, but for now I am okay with nursing him a few times a night, before he was eating all the night but it has been much better the last few months so I hope he will stop by himself.
I don't expect a sleep-miracle but I would be so happy if he at least would only wake every 2-3hours.
We have tried changing the time of sleep both to earlier and later but it only became worse, but it might be time for a new try, it is a little difficult though as my husband don't get home till after 7pm (and often closer to 8-9pm), and by 9pm i really really really need him to sleep.
We will also try to sign up for the Haya Club again as we have found that he sleeps much better after a swim (and not just a bath), would also be a great way for me to get fit.
Thank you again for your help, it is very kind of you
give me your email and I'll send you the no-cry PDF
also here are some gentle sleep training techniques for older babies
http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-training.html
and for nightweaning, if it really looks like he won't grow out of it on his own and you can't cope (I would maybe have tried this eventually but at 13 months my son just night-weaned by himself and started sleeping 12 hours) http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
As SG says, early bedtimes can actually improve the length of night sleep and getting the timing of naps just right seems to help too.
Oh I feel for you. I don't have any suggestions as all the sleep coaches I've heard of here seem to use CIO methods. Hopefully the no cry works for you.
My boy is always in bed by 7, and I find after that he's overtired and it can take ages to settle him. That must be very hard if your husband is not home till 7.30 though.
Good luck :)
Hi there....sleep deprivation is a killer isnt it! If your bub is waking that often it sounds like he has some sleep associations...does he require a dummy/boob/rocking or anything else to get back to sleep? When my DS was younger he would wake every 45 min for his dummy all night long so we had to teach him to fall asleep on his own. We worked with a sleep coach but it did involve some crying it out, but it worked and now DS sleeps a solid 12 hours and goes to sleep by himself with no tears. But there are other ways of getting rid of sleep associations that don't involve crying, they just usually take a bit longer. See if u can get your hands on the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, or give Kiwispiers a shout out I think she has a PDF of the book she could email you. Good luck and I hope you all get some sleep soon. Oh...and have you tried putting him to sleep earlier? 9.30pm is very late and he might be so overtired he can't settle into a deeper sleep, especially if he's only having short naps. My boy goes to sleep between 7-730pm and sleeps 12 hours plus has a 3 hour nap during the day. Sometimes the more they sleep, the more they sleep! Earlier bedtimes can do wonders, it's worth a try.
Thank you very much for your answer, and yes it is a killer.
He doesnt really use the dummy, and at night we don't rock him to sleep anymore (we did the first 6months, and still do it during the day). He likes the breast during the night but not everytime he wakes, and I can make him sleep again without nursing.
I don't wish to let him cry it out since he really is a good boy, he has maybe cried a total of 30minutes since he was a born, so it would just feel wrong.
Regarding the late sleep time, we have tried both putting him to sleep earlier and later, but when we put him earlier he woke up between 1-3am and thought it was morning, it was a horrible time. I would love have him sleep at 7pm if it wasnt for the early wake-up and the fact that his dad doesn't get home from work until 7:30-9pm.
I will try and read the no cry sleep solution (sounds great already).
Again thank you very much for your answer, we might try and move the bedtime a little again, maybe it will work this time :).
Your boy sounds like a little sleep-angel, I hope that will be us in the future, if not I will start working and tell his dad to quit his job and do the nights :P
<em>edited by Umm A on 14/09/2012</em>
I am in a similar situation, bubs is 11months old and still gets up around 3 times a night. Some nights all he wants is to be be breastfed, almost like having the boob permanently in his mouth or else he cries. Please could you email the PDF to me too? Getting desperate now as I have 2 other children at school and with lack of sleep, I am a nightmare! Email is [email protected]
Thanks
give me your email and I'll send you the no-cry PDF
also here are some gentle sleep training techniques for older babies
http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-training.html
and for nightweaning, if it really looks like he won't grow out of it on his own and you can't cope (I would maybe have tried this eventually but at 13 months my son just night-weaned by himself and started sleeping 12 hours) http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
As SG says, early bedtimes can actually improve the length of night sleep and getting the timing of naps just right seems to help too.
<em>edited by TurkishDervish on 14/09/2012</em>
give me your email and I'll send you the no-cry PDF
also here are some gentle sleep training techniques for older babies
http://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-training.html
and for nightweaning, if it really looks like he won't grow out of it on his own and you can't cope (I would maybe have tried this eventually but at 13 months my son just night-weaned by himself and started sleeping 12 hours) http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
As SG says, early bedtimes can actually improve the length of night sleep and getting the timing of naps just right seems to help too.
Hi there....sleep deprivation is a killer isnt it! If your bub is waking that often it sounds like he has some sleep associations...does he require a dummy/boob/rocking or anything else to get back to sleep? When my DS was younger he would wake every 45 min for his dummy all night long so we had to teach him to fall asleep on his own. We worked with a sleep coach but it did involve some crying it out, but it worked and now DS sleeps a solid 12 hours and goes to sleep by himself with no tears. But there are other ways of getting rid of sleep associations that don't involve crying, they just usually take a bit longer. See if u can get your hands on the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, or give Kiwispiers a shout out I think she has a PDF of the book she could email you. Good luck and I hope you all get some sleep soon. Oh...and have you tried putting him to sleep earlier? 9.30pm is very late and he might be so overtired he can't settle into a deeper sleep, especially if he's only having short naps. My boy goes to sleep between 7-730pm and sleeps 12 hours plus has a 3 hour nap during the day. Sometimes the more they sleep, the more they sleep! Earlier bedtimes can do wonders, it's worth a try.
Hi ladies.
If anyone know of a good sleep coach then please let me know.
It has to be someone who doesn't use the cry it out or controlled crying approach.
My son is 12 months and I am really desperate by now.
His first two weeks he was an angel, then we came to Dubai and he just stopped sleeping.
He usually wake up 2-3 times every hour all night long (he sleeps from around 9:30pm till 4-5pm and then he usually take one or two short naps in the day).
The first 6months I was going nuts, then I seemed to learn to cope with it, but now I am so exhausted again, my mind and my body just can't do it anymore.
Please help with contact details for a sleep coach or just your personal advice.
Thank you in advance