Advice on a few issues | ExpatWoman.com
 

Advice on a few issues

190
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 04 June 2011 - 19:48

My DD has turned 18 months and a few things have changed with her so I was wondering if anyone else has experienced these things and any help or advice to get things back to how they were.

Firstly, she used to be a fantastic eater but now has started to be really picky. Only eating the bits off her plate that are really nice and demanding things she wants. I have tried to get her to eat things but she is sooo stubborn if she doesnt want it she simply wont eat it.

Secondly, she goes to bed really well but has started wanting me to stay with her until she falls asleep or else she screams the place down and gets ridiculously worked up. Would you stay with her ten mins (she falls to sleep really quick) until she falls to sleep or let her fall asleep alone and deal with the crying so she gets used to self soothing again?

Also, she has started nipping and biting. No - one else, not daddy or friends, just me. I tell her no and she laughs and carries on. I told my mum who said "in my day we would do it back to them and it stopped the problem straight away". Although I agree this could work, i also think, if i nip/bite her isnt she going to think if mummy can do it so can i?

Any advice appreciated :)

1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 June 2011 - 23:10
If she did these things one at a time i'd deal with it but everything seems to have changed at once! Wouldn't that be wonderful, if they scheduled all their little issues to never overlap! ;) You'll almost certainly find that it will take months, but as I said, it's a process [rolls eyes and heaves a big sigh'> and will pay-off... honestly! DD's still... herself... but amongst her class at nursery, even though she's one of the more vocal and opinionated ones, she's also one of the most emotionally aware.
190
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 June 2011 - 21:06
Thank you for the advice :) Spot on the mark as usual and good to get someone elses perspective. I'll try the things you have mentioned and hope we get some improvements. If she did these things one at a time i'd deal with it but everything seems to have changed at once!
1861
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 June 2011 - 12:38
To answer in order: - picky eating. Yup, my DD was/is the same. I just plough on regardless, so if she decides that she won't eat something, she'll go without. Try and start giving your DD reasonable choices - so a choice of 2 puddings, say, so that she feels as if she's got what she wanted, but it's on your terms! - sleeping. Gar - it's peaks and troughs, isn't it?! If it doesn't bother you, then there's no harm in rolling with it. She's shown you she can self-soothe, it's just that at this point in time, she doesn't want to. I'm sure there's a developmental explanation for it too! - biting etc. When their verbal communication is limited, but they're starting to feel more complex emotions, they can sometimes "get physical". DD did it when she was... yes, 2! Try to understand what she's trying to say. It sounds as if she's trying to be affectionate, so if/when she bites, say "No, no biting. If you want to say you love me, give me a cuddle!" or "No, no biting. If you want to say "Come and play with me", say "Come mummy [or whatever she's capable of saying'>!" and then tell her to say sorry for biting you. This will fall on deaf ears probably for the next 6 months, but stick at it, because it's part of a process and will serve you in good stead. DD would hit or push when she wanted to be left alone, so our little spiel was "No, no hitting. If you want him to go away, say "Go away please"". Also reinforcing why they're saying sorry is really, really useful, because it gets them thinking more about what was amiss in their behaviour, instead of just lobbing a random "sorry" over their shoulder. You won't get much actual remorse, but it's a start. DD (now a few months off 4) is now very good about saying sorry and knows exactly why she has to!
 
 

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