I probably sound cheap but advise needed re gift. | ExpatWoman.com
 

I probably sound cheap but advise needed re gift.

704
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:02

A close family member is getting married in the summer. Its all happened fairly fast and so we didnt' have a lot of time to plan our holidays, book in advance. Needless to say we are paying about 30,000 AED to go (economy). We are going specifically for the wedding and then returning. Typically money is given in those money envelopes (though some guests will give a gift) at the reception averaging about $150 (AED 570) per person so in our case $600.00 (AED 2800). After spending on the tickets, the hotels, I kind of feel like thats more than I want to give...I wanted to get a nice gift for around 500-600 AED but since it is a close family member feel like I am being cheap and should just suck it up. Does anyone have any wisdom to share? Suck it up or just go with it - Thoughts ladies!?!

1811
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 19:36
Yes I agree it's worth giving the expected gift as they may hold it against you for years and overlook all the money you are spending on getting there. We have this regularly too and people forget that it costs a small fortune to travel for a wedding, pay for hotels, car hire, clothes etc it sometimes uses up all our holiday money:-( We've also got to bring presents (gold) for dh's mother and sisters. When it's my side of the family I go alone and it's so much more sensible!
238
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 19:05
Husband's brother? Sorry but in this case (and only because its a sibling) I would fork up the flight/hotel costs AND give as good a gift as I could afford, not too fancy but something nice. Yeap, sorry when it's that close a relative you've got to suck it up or risk trouble in the family for ever after!
166
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 18:10
Husband's brother? Sorry but in this case (and only because its a sibling) I would fork up the flight/hotel costs AND give as good a gift as I could afford, not too fancy but something nice.
704
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 18:05
We have to go..its my husbands brother! lol so I really did mean close relative. Ninonemo, we invited a lot of our relatives from abroad to our wedding as well and didnt' expect a gift but bc its his brother I don't know if I'm being a bit overly frugal. I like the idea of a well thought out gift...Now to figure something out. Thanks everyone.
379
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 18:04
Your heart is in the right place, but that is a huge amount to spend. If you could easily afford 35,000AED, and not "feel" it, for a wedding, that's one thing. But, if it's coming out of your savings, you don't know what tomorrow holds and may find yourself in a situation that may be costly. I'm sure if you explain that since the wedding announcement was so sudden, it would be a huge expense at this time, but will be sending a gift, it would be understood. It's the thought that they would like for you to be there, but would in all probability would understand if you couldn't.
270
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:54
When I got married we invited some people who lived in other countries and we were not expecting they would give us a present. Some of them did (very nice and small presents) but some of them did not and we fully understood! Sensible people understand these situations!
272
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:43
how about you don't all go (just you and your smallest one) leave the 'big' ones with dady.. it's only a couple days (i assume).. and take the due gift as expected of you (or buy a gold jewlery)... that should balance your expenses
280
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:15
dont go and send a really nice gift in your absence, I am sure they will understand. Probably even better...
876
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EW GURU
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:12
dont go and send a really nice gift in your absence, I am sure they will understand.
280
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:09
I would go for what is common (although I am quite happy in my country gifts are much smaller than that). It is definitely an expensive trip, but this last bit, you will overcome as well. And at least you avoid people having all sorts of opinions on your gift.
Anonymous (not verified)
0
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:08
Don't go, save your money as it's been so last minute. Invite them here for a holiday - it'll be much cheaper in the long run. If you are from a culture where the money envelopes are traditional you may feel committed to keeping up the tradition, but I think a well thought out gift (no matter what cost) is a much more personal gift and should be appreciated.
1579
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 10 April 2011 - 16:07
Find a special and personal gift in your price range. Put plenty of thought into it and I am sure that it will be appreciated.
 
 

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