Friend having problems with new born - advice needed

Hi there, sorry for the huge delay. I couldnt find this post, thought it had been deleted then I found it had been moved to this section. Phew! So update - friends mums wasnt there, so the good thing was my friend was able to speak openly about mum too. Seems she wouldnt miss mum if she went home (due Oct time to return home), and she doesnt help too much. She is old fashioned and my friend doesnt like/approve of some of her methods, mum doesnt change nappies and isnt bonding with her grandson - she shakes him when he cries as this is apparently how she used to with her 8 kids! How times have changed! I reassured my friend she was doing an amazing job, that she was normal, all babies cry, that she had to keep trying and trying and cant give up after trying something once; I advised her the best tip I learnt from another freind is soon she must get into a routine and stick to it no matter what. The great news is, he fell asleep while I was cuddling him and so allowed her and her husband a few mouthfuls of food together while I held baby. My friend very clearly is stressed when he cries, it looks like she is about to cry herself and I dont know how to help with this. She and her husband were a team, and they are both sharing the cuddling, and settling, changing nappies, etc. I dont think he is working the long hours I perceived, and he was very hands on. They are a young couple and doing their best. I suggested she doesnt read any books for a while or internet and just uses her instincts. She has asked if I can try one of those slings, so will go to find one over the weekend and take it round to her straight away. I was relieved to know she wasnt fasting. They were happy I took so much food so that she didnt have to worry about cooking and preparing food for a few days too. I washed up and put the dishes away, tried to leave as little behind, though they fought this and tried to treat me like a guest - I told them to sit down and rest and this was my way, so get used to it - they know me now ha ha! Ive had gripe water suggested for the dummy as it would be great if he found comfort with this to reduce the crying. Her husband walked me to my car even though there was no need, then I realised he wanted to talk to me - he thanked me for visiting and said my friend needed this. She missed her friends and her work and her old life, as much as she loves her son and is looking forward to everything he brings to her life, her life has changed more than she imagined. So I will make sure I keep in touch and keep going to see her and gradually over time I will be able to help her more. Thanks for all your advice and concerns, I will help her try everything suggested and decide which Drs she wants to see too. She worries too much, I imagine like all new mums. Im no expert and dont have kids myself, I can just be a good friend and keep supporting her.

Nadia007, thanks so much also. I am hoping to persuade her eventually to go for walks with me - I live in Mirdif and she lives in Sharjah so its not easy for us to meet up. And she lives somewhere that is a maze to get in and out of! Lets hope your advise and reassurance can help her. Im even thinking now to get her to read this so she knows she is normal.

Thanks A Rancher, I really appreciate yours and everyones help. I will check back in after Wednesday and also see if I can get her Dr Sears book. I will google it, but I may have to read it for her! : )

I dont think she is fasting, I know before she had him she was going to breastfeed him and therefore knew she would not be fasting. But I will check. He is a gorgeous baby, so telling her he is, is very easy : ). Ive advised her now I will bring Iftar for everyone so that she knows she can have a rest in advance. Ive also offered to do anything she needs whether its washing, ironing, cleanign, shopping etc. And I will make sure I see her at least once a week. I have a busy work life so I cant go as much as I would like. She really deserves a break though. Ive offered to take her to the spa, when she is good and ready!

Thanks. Ive been in touch on sms, and offered to help but she doesnt come back with anything, just about how down she is. Im happy Ive managed to get her to agree for me to come over and she did say thanks for remembering her! Poor girl. Asti, I will let her know what you have said re him sleeping with her in her bed, hopefully both will get some sleep at some point this way! She is a strong, stubborn woman, and its heartbreaking to see/hear her suffering. Im going to ensure that I organise their dinner for Wednesday evening, take some little gifts for her and her son, and offer to do whatever she needs/wants. My problem is that her mum is there and is supposed to behelping her and I dont want to upset mum either!