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EWfood

ewmoda

is it ok to travel without my child ??

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 August 2011 - 15:40

I am considering the option of leaving my child while travelling.
- I want to visit Athens during Eid holiday
- I feel that it will be too busy for her and hard to handle her (8 months) as a single traveller: solid food, bottles, naps, carriers, visiting places not allowing infants, activities, etc etc
- "What if" .... hospital? accident? kidnapping? so scary
and so many other reasons.
But, I do not think I will have the courage to bear a day without being with her... please help !!!
Should I experience the fact of being away from my child or it is not even worth it to give it a try?
note: My friends wants me to have a "ME" time as I have been tru many things within the past 3 months (divorce, new job, new appartment, nanny, etc etc). However, I believe I am fine and do not feel like I need time for myself.

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MommyOficially17027

182

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 23:58

ok did u say he (ur husband) wants her to experience the traditional eid n all. is he from any arabic country? the decision is all urs and all we can do is advice so there is no need for backfiring. im not gonna advise u as ive never left my 25 months old even for 10 min alone, not even with my husband. but im just wanting to point out that there have been many many kidnappings and yes by the father itself. there r many mothers out there who will never get their kids back just because they thought a weekend wouldn't do any harm and they would be refreshed, well now those woman would do anything to turn back time but all they can do is cry and pray that one day they can see their kids again, i've seen many such cases and well if u were not divorced i would not say a thing but u are and its weird for me that he is pushing u by saying that u need it and all. i don't know ur husband so im not judging or implying anything but just think about it that WHAT IF....... u seem to be ok with everyone that agrees with u yet backfire at everyone who is against. this is not what this website is all about. we are only expressing our thoughts as most of us are mothers as well and just try to make sure u think twice before leaving on a trip without your little one

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 22:51

Daza, she booked to travel w her little one but then family and friends are suggesting that she leave her daughter w Dad and go on her own. (At least that's my understanding.) Thanks for the clarification BFC. Keila, if you originally booked to take you daughter and you want to take your daughter......then take her. You are her mum and although I'm sure your family and friends mean well, only you know what is best for you both. One of the challenges of becoming a parent is learning how to raise your children the way you want to raise them, not how other people think you should. We all do it differently, it's not an exact science and what is right for someone else might not be right for you and vice versa.

1340

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 20:54

I really really wonder just what question the OP was asking. Seems to boil down to two options...........is it ok, or is it wise. Perhaps if she were to come back and define her search terms she might get the advice she needs. Given her marital status, I'd say stay put, get a good lawyer and be very, very careful.

Pomegranate35436

867

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 18:24

if the OP is leaving her baby for 4 days with the father, what is so wrong with that??? it might do her the world of good to get some breathing space to herself, and come back ready to take on the challenge of being a single mum. as mums we all know how hard it is in the early years, and without any support from a partner, and having to take on a new job and all the rest, it could be the best thing for the OP to recharge her batteries. its not as if she is leaving her baby with a stranger!!! i am however assuming that although divorced, the relationship between the 2 parents is ok, and that the father wants to be actively involved. if she was leaving the baby with someone other than family, then I would wonder if you do go Keila, then dont keep questioning your decision, but enjoy it and use the time well so that you can return ready to be the best mum you can be to your daughter. good luck with your decision This is the best advice you've received. Becoming a Mom does not mean you have to lose yourself and (try to) be a superwoman (like other posters like to show themselves as). Everyone is entitled to 'me' time and if you think you need it, and have the resources (to take care of your daughter), then go for it! If you'd returned to work after your daughter was born and were now going on a work trip for a few days, then everyone would probably have a different tune........the fact that you are chilling out - they are probably just a *tad* envious. You've obviously been through a rough time which the smug ones have no concept of and if you want to go away just now and relax, clear your head, find yourself (and potentially a gorgeous Greek guy :-)) then go and enjoy!

671

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 16:51

Daza, she booked to travel w her little one but then family and friends are suggesting that she leave her daughter w Dad and go on her own. (At least that's my understanding.)

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 14:54

My personal opinion would be to only go if: a) You are completely comfortable with leaving your baby. OR b) It's absolutely necessary that you go. You said you are planning on going on your own then you said that you had booked 'our' tickets. Does that mean you've booked to take your baby too? Or just a typo? <em>edited by Daza on 04/08/2011</em>

671

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 14:50

Guys, pls don't be too hard on the OP. She booked her tickets a while ago and now is experiencing pressure from family and friends to change her plans (plane tickets can be cancelled!). You can't blame her for wanting a sounding board. Hopefully the opportunity to talk things through here and to see some points made that she might not have considered has helped her to make a decision she is comfortable with. xx

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 14:41

I already booked our plane tickets. However, the father (who also think that I need time for myself) wants to keep the baby for these 4 days. I am not confortable with the idea but he is the father and know that they need time together. Thanks ladies for your replies and especially the ladies who gave me links and guidance for Greece. Why are you "not comfortable" leaving your baby with her own father ??? Later you say he was "begging" you to leave her with him ?? Sorry but these two statements alone would be enough for me not to let my baby out of my sight !! You asked if it is ok so you are asking for opinions - bit unfair to jump on ppl just because their opinions don't please you..agree with Lesley - why do ppl even bother with these threads ? OP asks for opinions, gets range of opinions including some a bit harsh, original premise changes slightly (in this case it changes to leaving the baby with father) or more pertinent info comes out, and the OP gets the hump that she's still not getting the validation she was seeking !! It's up to you - if you want your me time then go - you're a grown-up, it's entirely your own decision..on the other hand, if, as you originally stated, you don't really want to leave your baby then don't... of course it's all academic now and i've just wasted 5 minutes because you already bought the tickets !! lol Bon Voyage !! (but please think carefully about why your husband is so keen for you to go....) LOL Sue62, thats a few minutes of your life you'll never get back, especially when OP seems set on the idea. I think OP would be very wise to take special consideration to your last comment in brackets.

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 14:36

I already booked our plane tickets. However, the father (who also think that I need time for myself) wants to keep the baby for these 4 days. I am not confortable with the idea but he is the father and know that they need time together. Thanks ladies for your replies and especially the ladies who gave me links and guidance for Greece. Why are you "not comfortable" leaving your baby with her own father ??? Later you say he was "begging" you to leave her with him ?? Sorry but these two statements alone would be enough for me not to let my baby out of my sight !! You asked if it is ok so you are asking for opinions - bit unfair to jump on ppl just because their opinions don't please you..agree with Lesley - why do ppl even bother with these threads ? OP asks for opinions, gets range of opinions including some a bit harsh, original premise changes slightly (in this case it changes to leaving the baby with father) or more pertinent info comes out, and the OP gets the hump that she's still not getting the validation she was seeking !! It's up to you - if you want your me time then go - you're a grown-up, it's entirely your own decision..on the other hand, if, as you originally stated, you don't really want to leave your baby then don't... of course it's all academic now and i've just wasted 5 minutes because you already bought the tickets !! lol Bon Voyage !! (but please think carefully about why your husband is so keen for you to go....)

206

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 14:09

btw, I've seen some locals travelling with their husbands away for weeks from their very young children with no problem, not missing them to death or any traces of quilt. I would be very careful to judge if they are "responsible moms" or not. It's just different how they lead their lives... Some bring their babies and kids to their parent's house with all babysitters and an extra maid. One colleague did this in case of a 4-month old baby. Back to your question; even if you will not miss your LO too much (which is impossible to predict), I simply think it's not a wise decision in your case as I personally would never leave my child with the dad I just divorced. Especially when he insists :) But that's your life, your decisions and whatever you do I hope you feel inner peace at the end! Now when you've seen the social pressure following your decision just learn to deal with it. Be a Mom, do not let social pressure or others tell you how you need to feel about separating from your very young baby.

671

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 13:09

I think it makes a big difference if she's going to be with her Dad - assuming she's attached to her Dad. My 11mo took a week's trip with her Dad when I was overseas attending a work conference (and job interview for the job I now have), and they had a fab time. If however you are the primary caregiver and she isn't attached to her father, then I honestly think she'd be better off with you at this age as she would find the separation from you hard (and as I mentioned before, I suspect that you may find the separation from her hard, too). This is aside from any concerns about custody issues which may or may not arise. Whatever you do, no-one should judge you for leaving your little one in the care of her father. Good luck with your decision, and I'll post an account of my Greek trip for you when I get back :). xx

1617

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 12:03

I am a HUGE fan of adult holidays and do at least one a year with just me and DH (sometimes more); we always leave DD with my mum. So I'm probably at the other end of the spectrum although she was older than 8 months when we first left her (I think from memory she was about 2).

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 12:02

I often left my young children with their dad when I went away with my Guides for weekend camps etc. He did the same when he was a Scout leader. I don't see the problem if a child is left with the other parent, whether divorced or not. It takes 2 to make a baby and in my book the care is shared. My DD was 8 months old first time I did this and she was fine with her loving daddy. I came home 3 days later to beaming smiles and no sign of neglect on her father's part!! When she got older (around 18 months) I took her with me on Guide camping trips. She now runs her own Guide unit.

594

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 11:42

A new divorce.. u are already in to your "ME" time, aren't u! Moral police or no police.. I wudn't leave my kid who is now 8 yrs with anyone but my DH or my parents if its an emergency only....for vacation... my kid is my family...my ME time as vacation is incomplete with out her. DH and I did have a 3 days break wen she was 5....but we missed her terribly and feel guilty till this day for not taking her along! If leaving with biological father is out of question than Nanny is not a good choice... any emergencies can happen...forgods sake.. 8 months and ME time...wow! I know I will be lynched for this... bring it on....

557

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 11:25

To OP, was the divorce particularly nasty? I have a friend who divorced her husband, and he wasn't very happy about it. Her mother became very ill and she left her kids with a good friend for a week to fly out to help her mother. The ex then promptly filed charges against her for abandoning the children. It was a huge mess. The divorce was not nasty. We are in good terms. He is begging me to leave the child with him as he wants to introduce the child to his family and wants her daughter to experience the EID holiday with all the traditions. Also, he is insisting for the "ME" time as he has his after the divorce and said that he feels so much better. Anyhow, thanks for this, I have never thought about this! I would then advise on the side of caution on this..... ( I missed the part where she said about divorce...) Might be a good idea to reconsider.....the last thing you want is to lose custody of your child! I would not risk it myself, no matter how good the divorce was/is....it's always a divorce! You just never know.....people do strange things for the strangest of reasons....

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 11:10

To OP, was the divorce particularly nasty? I have a friend who divorced her husband, and he wasn't very happy about it. Her mother became very ill and she left her kids with a good friend for a week to fly out to help her mother. The ex then promptly filed charges against her for abandoning the children. It was a huge mess. The divorce was not nasty. We are in good terms. He is begging me to leave the child with him as he wants to introduce the child to his family and wants her daughter to experience the EID holiday with all the traditions. Also, he is insisting for the "ME" time as he has his after the divorce and said that he feels so much better. Anyhow, thanks for this, I have never thought about this!

Princess_I45169

1953

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 11:09

I do always wonder why these sorts of questions are asked on a forum like this. No offence but you must have know there'd be a wide spectrum of opinions and if you're not prepared to see those then don't ask. Me too - it's so hugely personal and can only ever be answered by the person who asked.... It's the same as the "where shall i go on holiday" question.

911

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 11:07

My answer to your question is without a doubt, no. Your baby is 8 mnths old but even if they were 8 years old I always wonder why parents say they need a holiday without their children - I have had the odd night away but a full blown holiday? Abroad? Never. The furthest I've ever been is an hour's drive away. You've already answered your own question anyway at the bottom of your post - you don't need the time away so why are you contemplating it? I do always wonder why these sorts of questions are asked on a forum like this. No offence but you must have know there'd be a wide spectrum of opinions and if you're not prepared to see those then don't ask.

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 11:02

Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. or maybe I should leave my DD go hungry and count on you to provide for us. Oh dear. Whatever. exactly. this entire thread seems like a royal wind up by th OP... cue original confused post - followed by rude replies to everyone......very strange i don't even see how a post like this could end up in 7 days and it's not even thursday :\: and your answer to my question is ???

172

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:57

To OP, was the divorce particularly nasty? I have a friend who divorced her husband, and he wasn't very happy about it. Her mother became very ill and she left her kids with a good friend for a week to fly out to help her mother. The ex then promptly filed charges against her for abandoning the children. It was a huge mess.

142

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:47

Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. or maybe I should leave my DD go hungry and count on you to provide for us. Oh dear. Whatever. exactly. this entire thread seems like a royal wind up by th OP... cue original confused post - followed by rude replies to everyone......very strange i don't even see how a post like this could end up in 7 days and it's not even thursday :\:

280

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:25

I can't help but wondering how this conversation amongst men/fathers would be... Something like 'oh the mum takes care... cool... enjoy!' Men always say how women bring each other down and then I really feel embarrassed and try to defend us, but you know what... it is true! The OP clearly feels guilty enough, do we really need to get this rude? The dad is going to take care of the child. THE DAD!!! Is that not a great win-win situation?

425

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 10:08

I've let my first baby of then 3 months to my mom for a small week of holiday alone with my hubby. It is one of the fondest memory we both have. It was a great time for being a couple again (and MUCH NEEDED !), and my mom and dad had a blast with their grandson. My mom also had very often the last son of my brother, from very young age, and regularly had other cousins at home while the parents take some time off. I even let my 3 kids a full week to close friend (in my home) while I was having a business travel with my DH. I used to do the same when I was a kid and absolutely loved these holidays, even though I absolutely don't remember if I was having holidays to grandparents while a baby. But, for me, it's normal to have holidays without the parents, and it's normal to let the kids, even babies to the grandparents so they can have their own time together. The connection they make then is something exceptional and that will never happen while you're around. So yes, I would say that, it's for 4 days only, your baby is with his father. Might be a good idea to have some time for yourself. Then, if you're al alone and think you will miss your baby too much and it will actually be harder for you to be without the baby, then, take your little one with you and have a blast both of you. You could also start with a "sleep over" to dad's place during a week end. It's only 2 days, and you won't be very far if there is any need. Most of all, do what YOU feel is ok. What YOU really need. The baby will sense it and will be ok too. I find it funny to read so strong comments to let the baby for 4 days with the father, while I reckon the same mothers will let their babies in nurseries or with nannies, so with strangers for the whole morning or day, every morning... If you're working, it's what you have to do aren't you ?

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:55

Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. or maybe I should leave my DD go hungry and count on you to provide for us. Oh dear. Whatever.

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:55

I personally would not even consider traveling without my 10 month DD, even if I had/was going through a hard time, but those of you who are calling other posters on here the moral police, please sit back and consider the fact that the OP DID ACTUALLY ASK IS IT OK OR NOT? Just because the answers don't fit in with her or anyone else's opinions is beside the point. You ask a question on a public forum, you have to have broad shoulders and accept what comes back at you. I actually find the OP's post very silly. She asks if its ok, says that she doesn't even feel she needs this 'me' time, then goes on to say she has already bought the tickets. OP, you've made your mind up already, why the need to bring it to EW to justify your decision? Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. Let me repeat my question me: is it ok or not? You: no FULL STOP... Now go on Why the need for the question when the tickets have been purchased? Duh Tickets can be changed... I cancelled my last ticket 2 hours before flying

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:53

Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. or maybe I should leave my DD go hungry and count on you to provide for us. My mind is not made up... please re read

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:53

I personally would not even consider traveling without my 10 month DD, even if I had/was going through a hard time, but those of you who are calling other posters on here the moral police, please sit back and consider the fact that the OP DID ACTUALLY ASK IS IT OK OR NOT? Just because the answers don't fit in with her or anyone else's opinions is beside the point. You ask a question on a public forum, you have to have broad shoulders and accept what comes back at you. I actually find the OP's post very silly. She asks if its ok, says that she doesn't even feel she needs this 'me' time, then goes on to say she has already bought the tickets. OP, you've made your mind up already, why the need to bring it to EW to justify your decision? Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. Let me repeat my question me: is it ok or not? You: no FULL STOP... Now go on Why the need for the question when the tickets have been purchased? Duh

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:51

I personally would not even consider traveling without my 10 month DD, even if I had/was going through a hard time, but those of you who are calling other posters on here the moral police, please sit back and consider the fact that the OP DID ACTUALLY ASK IS IT OK OR NOT? Just because the answers don't fit in with her or anyone else's opinions is beside the point. You ask a question on a public forum, you have to have broad shoulders and accept what comes back at you. I actually find the OP's post very silly. She asks if its ok, says that she doesn't even feel she needs this 'me' time, then goes on to say she has already bought the tickets. OP, you've made your mind up already, why the need to bring it to EW to justify your decision? Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up. Let me repeat my question me: is it ok or not? You: no FULL STOP... Now go on

1403

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:46

I personally would not even consider traveling without my 10 month DD, even if I had/was going through a hard time, but those of you who are calling other posters on here the moral police, please sit back and consider the fact that the OP DID ACTUALLY ASK IS IT OK OR NOT? Just because the answers don't fit in with her or anyone else's opinions is beside the point. You ask a question on a public forum, you have to have broad shoulders and accept what comes back at you. I actually find the OP's post very silly. She asks if its ok, says that she doesn't even feel she needs this 'me' time, then goes on to say she has already bought the tickets. OP, you've made your mind up already, why the need to bring it to EW to justify your decision? Maybe your time spent on here could be spent spending time with your baby before you jet off leaving him/her, especially when your mind seems made up.

223

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 August 2011 - 09:40

Very interesting. Now it turns to : it is ok.

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UAE president announces 2025 will be the 'Year of Community' in the emirates

Confirmed: 2025 Will Be The 'Year of Community' in The UAE

Breakfast with penguins at Ski Dubai Mall of the Emirates

You Can Now Enjoy Breakfast With Penguins in Dubai

How to convert another country's drivers license in Dubai

How to Convert a Non-UAE Driving License in Dubai: A Complete Guide

Registrations open for EYFS curriculum Willow Children's Nursery in Dubai

Where to Choose the Best EYFS Children's Nursery in Dubai Marina

List of confirmed UAE public holidays in 2025

List of UAE Public Holidays in 2025: Announced and Expected Dates

Outdoor cinemas in Dubai for the winter season 2024

The Best Outdoor Cinemas in Dubai to See Open-Air Movies This Winter

Executive Hospitality Programme at South View School in Dubai

Introducing the Executive Hospitality Programme at South View School Dubai

Expat legal consultants in the UAE | Dr. Hassan Elhais

Meet Dr. Hassan Elhais: A Pillar of Legal Expertise for Expats in the UAE

Saray Spa promotions at JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai

This Luxury Dubai Spa Has Some of the Very Best Breaks To Escape To

A Complete Guide How to Get an Influencer License in Dubai and UAE

How to Get a UAE Influencer License: Step-By-Step Guide & Requirements

UAE Emirati Lawyer Awatif Khouri in Dubai and Abu Dhabi

Meet the Emirati Woman Breaking Grounds in UAE Law: Awatif Khouri

Dubai's gravity-driven tunnel to reduce flood risks by 700%

Pictured: Flooded roads from the record-breaking storm that hit Dubai in April 2024.

Dubai Flood Risk to Be Cut Down by 700% With New Tunnel

8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai for busy moms

8 Beauty Treatments in Dubai: Self-Care Recommendations for Busy Moms

Mashreq NEO NXT Account | Why Kids and Teens Need Financial Education

Why Teens Need Real-World Financial Education?

E-scooters are no longer banned on the Dubai Metro stations and trains

RTA Finally Lifts E-Scooter Ban From Dubai Metro

Spa packages at Saray Spa in JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai

Step Into the Ultimate Relaxation Bliss With Saray Spa's Pampering Packages

How to book Dubai taxi through WhatsApp

Booking Taxis in Dubai: How to Hail a Taxi Through WhatsApp

Experience Extended Stays and Special Savings at Le Meridien Al Aqah Beach Resort UAE

Soak Up the Summer With the Ultimate UAE Staycation Special

RTA Dubai flying taxi official launch date

Image credit: Joby Aviation.

RTA Finally Confirms Launch Date of Dubai's Flying Taxis