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Married or Single??

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:33
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:30
[b'>I think marriage or divorce are both paper works[/b'>. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the eyes of public. Not for everyone. For some people there is true tradition and spiritual meaning behind it. And for those people, I think marriage is a beautiful thing. I don't reduce marriage or divorce to a simple government process...it's just that's what it is for ME.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:27
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons.....
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:26
But in many other countries, couples who've lived together for a certain amount of time are seen as having a common law marriage anyway, and therefore have the same rights as a married couple, should there be any separation.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:24
I think marriage or divorce are both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the eyes of public.
271
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:24
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:19
@CT Really, we only got married for legal reasons. We were already living together as a family and considered ourselves as such (ie mom and dad went to all school functions/meetings, dad coached weekend sports teams, etc). Nothing has changed for the better/worse and we don't plan for it too. If we hadn't been in our particular situation, we would have continued on living a "normal" unmarried life...but committed and happy just the same. So for us, shedding something we never wanted will be returning to our true intentions for our family...nothing will change though (except now I have a banging life insurance policy, and it's tempting, very very tempting! J/K). :) I think staying true to ourselves is important and I'm glad he and I agree on it. Though for power trip reasons, I may have to file first! :) @SQ I think for people who want to be married and have that connection with tradition, religion or whatever...then marriage is a great and beautiful thing for them. If my children want that, then I support it and will love it! It's just a personal thing both DH and I share...we were for all intents and purposes married before we were actually married. In fact, other than our marriage certificate (which is genuine -- not Karama genuine), our marriage could be a total hoax ... no one was invited and we didn't announce it to anyone. We just did it and moved on. I emailed my mom and she said, "good job" or something to that effect. No wedding gifts, no cards, no hugs...just another day in the GleekFamily life.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:01
This is getting confusing. I like marriage. I think it is good for children to have 'married' parents
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 10:51
No, I'm not joking...but I'm not unhappy. We are both in love and plan on staying together forever. It's just neither of us wanted to be married (we were already living together with children and dogs!). It's more of the we don't need a piece of paper or a jewelery on our hands to maintain committed to each other. If being married is just a piece of paper is divorce not the same? What will change for you with a divorce if you continue being committed? *genuinely interested not being sarcastic* I feel like divorce too is from the heart... the financial implications--those are a whole other ball game for me.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 10:47
No, I'm not joking...but I'm not unhappy. We are both in love and plan on staying together forever. It's just neither of us wanted to be married (we were already living together with children and dogs!). It's more of the we don't need a piece of paper or a jewelery on our hands to maintain committed to each other. If being married is just a piece of paper is divorce not the same? What will change for you with a divorce if you continue being committed? *genuinely interested not being sarcastic*
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 10:45
No, I'm not joking...but I'm not unhappy. We are both in love and plan on staying together forever. It's just neither of us wanted to be married (we were already living together with children and dogs!). It's more of the we don't need a piece of paper or a jewelery on our hands to maintain committed to each other. I think a big part of it is that we aren't religious. The tradition of marriage to us doesn't mean as much as to other people. And since we can't live here w/out being married (though we were married before we even knew we were coming here)...we can't get divorced until we leave! I hope we are here for a while...if that means I still have to be married, then I'll deal. ;) But don't get me wrong...when I see couples together for 50 years, I just melt (I'm a sucker for love!). I like your sentiments Gleeky. I think it's sad when people are forced to have a bit of paper to confirm their commitment to one another. I think marriage as an institution is on it's way out for many people. yeah, i kinda feel the same way. our wedding was just a celebration of what we'd already discovered years before.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 10:09
No, I'm not joking...but I'm not unhappy. We are both in love and plan on staying together forever. It's just neither of us wanted to be married (we were already living together with children and dogs!). It's more of the we don't need a piece of paper or a jewelery on our hands to maintain committed to each other. I think a big part of it is that we aren't religious. The tradition of marriage to us doesn't mean as much as to other people. And since we can't live here w/out being married (though we were married before we even knew we were coming here)...we can't get divorced until we leave! I hope we are here for a while...if that means I still have to be married, then I'll deal. ;) But don't get me wrong...when I see couples together for 50 years, I just melt (I'm a sucker for love!). I like your sentiments Gleeky. I think it's sad when people are forced to have a bit of paper to confirm their commitment to one another. I think marriage as an institution is on it's way out for many people.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 10:05
No, I'm not joking...but I'm not unhappy. We are both in love and plan on staying together forever. It's just neither of us wanted to be married (we were already living together with children and dogs!). It's more of the we don't need a piece of paper or a jewelery on our hands to maintain committed to each other. I think a big part of it is that we aren't religious. The tradition of marriage to us doesn't mean as much as to other people. And since we can't live here w/out being married (though we were married before we even knew we were coming here)...we can't get divorced until we leave! I hope we are here for a while...if that means I still have to be married, then I'll deal. ;) But don't get me wrong...when I see couples together for 50 years, I just melt (I'm a sucker for love!).
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:57
? As cheesy as it was, I loved it very much .Especially that it was said by Rumi , a poet from my country whose poems I adore .
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:54
?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:42
Khatoon, you start a lot of threads about not being in love, or bad encounters. Maybe it's on your mind too much? You guessed it right .It has been on my mind too much lately . I think its time to stop worrying and just enjoy my life .... wana know how i met my husband? (okay, we did meet when we were 18) he spilled coffee on me. He practically burned my beauties. When i felt the hot liquid burn through my shirt, I wanted to go nuclear on my offender...but when our eyes met, I never wanted to be parted from him. So, don't look for love. Okay, (and I'll share something super cheesy-- it was included in our wedding invitations--vomit inducing, I know) 'The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along.' Rumi it's been my motto since I was 12.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:34
[i'>Do you regret being married?? If you coulds go back , would you get married again ??Where you happier when you were single? [/i'> No, yes and the same but younger lol Will be married 25 years this year and no i have never regretted it. Most of our friends are also still married. We have had ups and downs the same as anyone else but i don't think i would like to be single again now at my age - being single and YOUNG is of course more fun...but you don't stop having fun when you marry (at least we never have), it just means you have someone to share it with.. *LIKE*
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:22
[i'>Do you regret being married?? If you coulds go back , would you get married again ??Where you happier when you were single? [/i'> No, yes and the same but younger lol Will be married 25 years this year and no i have never regretted it. Most of our friends are also still married. We have had ups and downs the same as anyone else but i don't think i would like to be single again now at my age - being single and YOUNG is of course more fun...but you don't stop having fun when you marry (at least we never have), it just means you have someone to share it with..
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 09:12
Gleekfamily....just am wondering why u are waiting to leave Dubai until u divorce? Life is too short to place on hold.....as you have said, you are young so my advice is to sort this out asap. It sounds from your post that your mind is made up. There is no point hanging on and pretending or just going through the motions. It destroys your soul in the end. I totaly agree with what you said !!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 16:44
Gleekfamily's just joking!! ;)
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 15:34
Gleekfamily....just am wondering why u are waiting to leave Dubai until u divorce? Life is too short to place on hold.....as you have said, you are young so my advice is to sort this out asap. It sounds from your post that your mind is made up. There is no point hanging on and pretending or just going through the motions. It destroys your soul in the end.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 15:22
Hi, Glee . You have a different point of view about marriage compared to most of other EW members who have replied to my question. You seem to be very unhappy. Also I have a feeling that your husband is not a very understanding man.Maybe you hate being married to the wrong man !!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 12:54
I hate being married. Soon as we move out of here, DH and I decided we are divorcing. My reasons: - I'm just tired of being announced as, "This is my wife, Gleeky." Why do I need a title? Now if it was "This is HRH, Gleeky" that's a different story. - I feel obligated to be the one to clean the house, iron and do the laundry, when we both know it's a shared responsibility. So while he doesn't get mad, I feel guilty (something compounded by how his mother runs her house). - I don't wear a ring and am young-ish w/ 2 children...so get lots of "Oh really, you have 2 children???" comments and it's kinda annoying. I'd wear the ring, but I lost it and DH won't replace it (just like how he won't replace my mobile that's been gone for more than 3 months). It's one of the handful of things I look forward to as part of leaving Dubai! :)
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 12:45
They say good things happen when least expected. I am going to take your advice and stop thinking about it. I’m sure it will happen at the right time. Happy to see so many happily married people :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 11:22
If I get married one day, it will not be because I can't take care of myself or pay the rent, it will be simply because I will enjoy the company of someone. Love it! That's how it should be!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 11:19
Well Khatoon, maybe you are paying attention to people only when they are complaining:) I am single in my mid-thirties, have friends who are happily married and happily single:) Also I have some with miserable marriages of course. I like my freedom normally but last week dealing with a broken car and a tiny mouse in my apartment, I so wished there was someone in my life who can take care of this stuff, but thank God it didn't last long:) If I get married one day, it will not be because I can't take care of myself or pay the rent, it will be simply because I will enjoy the company of someone.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 10:31
The grass always seems greener to some people, i have been married 8 years, together almost 12 and we are still so in love, i have never regretted a single moment spent with my DH he is my soul mate and i could not imagine my life without him, he is my best friend. Like someone else said, we are better people for being together, we have achieved so much together in our life and thats simply because we are together, i met DH when i was 21 unsure where i was going with my life, enjoy being single havng fun and then he popped along and that was it, i instantly new i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, we had a whilrwind bought a house together after 5 months, 2 years later had a DS a year later got married - bliss Aw you ahve made me go all gushy now i Love my DH X :)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 10:00
Khatoon, you start a lot of threads about not being in love, or bad encounters. Maybe it's on your mind too much? You guessed it right .It has been on my mind too much lately . I think its time to stop worrying and just enjoy my life .... I know it's trite, but love comes along when you least expect it and when you're not looking for it. I think that's because if you're comfortable with yourself, you attract the kind of person you want.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 January 2011 - 09:56
Khatoon, you start a lot of threads about not being in love, or bad encounters. Maybe it's on your mind too much? You guessed it right .It has been on my mind too much lately . I think its time to stop worrying and just enjoy my life ....
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 January 2011 - 07:27
I dont regret getting married, its the best thing Ive ever done, love my DH to bits, just couldnt imagine my life without him,
 
 

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