Married or Single?? | ExpatWoman.com
 

Married or Single??

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 20 January 2011 - 09:20

Its really very confusing sometimes. When I am alone and I feel lonely, or when the rent comes up and I have to worry, that’s when I feel my life would have been easier if I were married. I would have someone to share my life with. But then I talk to people and mostly they only complain about the marriage and have issues with their husbands. They tell me they wish they were still single and if they knew what marriage is like, they would never get married.
Well, I have many years of living alone and also had a year experience of living with my boyfriend. Even though we had our share of problems as a couple, I feel I was a much happier person when I was living with him....

Do you regret being married?? If you coulds go back , would you get married again ??Where you happier when you were single?

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EW MASTER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 21:49
I prefer being married especially to someone who works away a lot so I get a lot of "me time" too. :-P I like!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 21:09
Thanks for all thoses perspectives! I am new to Abu Dhabi, will soon move here to join my husband. We are legally common-law married where we come from in Texas. We did not register the marriage there. Can we get a marriage certificate here? What is the process? I'm from houston! i got married in houston, so not sure how to get married in the UAE, though. sorry!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 18:12
Gleekfamily, you sound very knowledgeable about this topic. I am staying with my husband this month to get some medical care. Anyone going to have a problem with that? I lived in TX under common law marriage as well. I married DH before we left the US. Common law marriage only establishes your rights in a particular state or country that accepts this type of family arrangement. I don't believe common law exists in Dubai -- it must be an official marriage certificate. As far as whether you can stay with him, technically I don't think you are allowed as you aren't married in the eyes of the UAE government.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 18:07
Gleekfamily, you sound very knowledgeable about this topic. I am staying with my husband this month to get some medical care. Anyone going to have a problem with that?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 17:49
Thanks for all thoses perspectives! I am new to Abu Dhabi, will soon move here to join my husband. We are legally common-law married where we come from in Texas. We did not register the marriage there. Can we get a marriage certificate here? What is the process? No. You must be married officially and have that marriage license apostilled in TX.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 26 January 2011 - 17:47
Thanks for all thoses perspectives! I am new to Abu Dhabi, will soon move here to join my husband. We are legally common-law married where we come from in Texas. We did not register the marriage there. Can we get a marriage certificate here? What is the process?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 25 January 2011 - 09:58
Married 4 years, been together for 10 years - I was 19 when we met online. Don't regret it, he's the love of my life. Having said that, we do have our ups and downs just like other ppl. Wouldn't change him for the world. That is beautiful...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 19:44
Married 4 years, been together for 10 years - I was 19 when we met online. Don't regret it, he's the love of my life. Having said that, we do have our ups and downs just like other ppl. Wouldn't change him for the world. How sweet!
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 18:57
Married 4 years, been together for 10 years - I was 19 when we met online. Don't regret it, he's the love of my life. Having said that, we do have our ups and downs just like other ppl. Wouldn't change him for the world.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:43
I didn't read the whole thread...so For the ones who believe they don't need to get married to be together or to raise kids ...Yes you are right you don;t need the paper ! But if the loved one he is in a critical condition in a hospital and someone most make decision, sorry to say you need the marriage paper ! Or worse, if something happens wit one of you ..what the other can do when cames about assets, money .... kids ,if you don't have a marriage certificate. I believe marriage certificate gives you security and rights ...
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:25
@ Tallybalt: Just because someone thinks marriage is a piece of paper and has no value, doesn’t make your marriage meaningless. I agree 100%.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:21
Let me see, you do not celebrate or focus on marriage because....you do not celebrate or focus on the love between you and your husband? I know this isn't what you're saying, but you're trying to render marriage as a meaningless form or institution that means nothing except what the people who chose it put into it. A marriage isn't something one necessarily "believes' in as one would believe in a particular god. It's something one does because of a whole host of reasons, most of which have to do with symbolism, love, duty and sensibility. If you want to cop out of marriage, fine, but that doesn't preclude me, or many people, from describing your perspective as morally and culturally weak. I agree with you 100%.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:19
Well, I started this post to get some advice from mature single or married women of EW. It seems that it has turned to a war between to of the ladies though. I believe marriage like most other things in life is a personal choice. We do not have to necessarily agree with other’s choice but we must respect them.@ Tallybalt: Just because someone thinks marriage is a piece of paper and has no value, doesn’t make your marriage meaningless.@ gleekfamily: And just because some people believe marriage is the bases of family does not make your family unstable or illegitimate. Personally, I admire people who stay together and raise their children, without being married. In such a case it is only love that is keeping your family together not a legal obligation. Again I must insist, I have nothing against the concept of marriage and I do believe that for most of us marriage is our way of making our love official.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:11
Tallybalt, you are entitled to your opinions about my life and reasoning. I don't fault you or accuse you of anything just because I chose a different lifestyle. In fact, if you look at the root of what I'm saying, we are saying similar things about what marriage SHOULD mean to people (love, commitment, etc). However, I'm saying that getting married is not the only way to show such love or commitment to one another -- it is one way.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 15:06
Hmmm… quite strange: two posters here have opposite view on a marriage. One of them is defending her opinion and giving the reasons, still leaving the room for others who has different point of view. Another poster insisting, attacking, insulting and pointing that only one way of thinking/feeling should exist regarding the fact of marriage. GF, Im with you on that one. I think that woman who hasn’t enough confidence will always insist on marriage.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 14:50
Let me see, you do not celebrate or focus on marriage because....you do not celebrate or focus on the love between you and your husband? I know this isn't what you're saying, but you're trying to render marriage as a meaningless form or institution that means nothing except what the people who chose it put into it. A marriage isn't something one necessarily "believes' in as one would believe in a particular god. It's something one does because of a whole host of reasons, most of which have to do with symbolism, love, duty and sensibility. If you want to cop out of marriage, fine, but that doesn't preclude me, or many people, from describing your perspective as morally and culturally weak. It is the exact idea of conforming to something you don't believe in for yourself. I do not feel like it adds anything to OUR family or OUR lives. It is not something we celebrate or focus on. It is like saying: - Because I live in an Islamic country, I should become a Muslim. I don't believe in religion. I respect religion and beliefs of Islam (and all other religions), but it's not in MY HEART so I couldn't revert just because it would conform with the life here. Bless the people that do feel the attachment in their heart, I'm sure it's an amazing thing for them. - Because I was born in the US, I should feel obligated to say the pledge of allegiance. Well, I don't. Because I don't believe in my heart that it is "one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." There is liberty and justice for most, not all (ie gay rights). I respect other peoples beliefs about marriage...they are just not my own. Why must I be judged? I am living lawfully in the country -- it infringes on my personal beliefs, but it's a sacrifice I made for our family.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 14:15
It is the exact idea of conforming to something you don't believe in for yourself. I do not feel like it adds anything to OUR family or OUR lives. It is not something we celebrate or focus on. It is like saying: - Because I live in an Islamic country, I should become a Muslim. I don't believe in religion. I respect religion and beliefs of Islam (and all other religions), but it's not in MY HEART so I couldn't revert just because it would conform with the life here. Bless the people that do feel the attachment in their heart, I'm sure it's an amazing thing for them. - Because I was born in the US, I should feel obligated to say the pledge of allegiance. Well, I don't. Because I don't believe in my heart that it is "one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." There is liberty and justice for most, not all (ie gay rights). I respect other peoples beliefs about marriage...they are just not my own. Why must I be judged? I am living lawfully in the country -- it infringes on my personal beliefs, but it's a sacrifice I made for our family.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 14:06
They were illegitimate. If that bothered you you should have married in the first place. I wouldn't discriminate against your children because of their parents' failures, but it still doesn't obscure the simple fact they were born out of wedlock and as such, were illegitimate. I still do not understand why a couple who genuinely loves each other and have all intentions of staying together for the rest of their lives refuse to get married. You are the product of a society with its expectations and to turn your back is still selfish. A society requires commitment from its citizens and accepting its rules and expectations is part of the dues we pay to be in a civilization as opposed to an anarchy. @Tallybalt Thank you for casting a dark cloud over our very loving family. Yes my children were born out of wedlock -- as I said, DH and I don't believe in getting married. I dare you look in our children's faces and tell them that they are illegitimate -- what an ugly, ugly term. I don't have to justify our life decisions to you...and I don't think others have to justify theirs to me! Like I said, it's a personal choice for us. I don't think it's a choice all people should make -- maybe read my other posts and you'll see that in fact I do think marriage is a wonderful people that respect and value it as it should be. To do something because it's the done thing to do (along with the societal pressure to conform to such a life event) is not what makes strong marriages last. <em>edited by Tallybalt on 24/01/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 14:01
In some places it is more socially acceptable to be married (if you have kids) There are other places where people may not say that, but they sure as heck think it Gleekfamily you have your rights as all do, but, I cannot see the point of not conforming? why? what harm does it do you? It will most certainly do the kids more good than harm for you to remain married. In the future your children could lose out of something because your family may appear dysfunctional.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 13:49
@Tallybalt Thank you for casting a dark cloud over our very loving family. Yes my children were born out of wedlock -- as I said, DH and I don't believe in getting married. I dare you look in our children's faces and tell them that they are illegitimate -- what an ugly, ugly term. I don't have to justify our life decisions to you...and I don't think others have to justify theirs to me! Like I said, it's a personal choice for us. I don't think it's a choice all people should make -- maybe read my other posts and you'll see that in fact I do think marriage is a wonderful people that respect and value it as it should be. To do something because it's the done thing to do (along with the societal pressure to conform to such a life event) is not what makes strong marriages last.
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EW GURU
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 13:32
Yes. Mom, dad, a couple of illegitimate children. Lovely. I find your take on relationships to be selfish and intellectually weak, to be frank. A marriage is a wonderful symbol of the unison of two people, that they have formally decided to step forward as a couple in the eyes of society. When you turn your back on marriage because "it's only a ceremony or a piece of paper" you completely ignore the importance of the role of marriage, both as a symbol of love between two people and as the basis of a family, in the history of human society - there's a reason why every major civilization and culture has marriage as a cultural institution. To opt out of marriage for no good reason is just being selfish. @CT Really, we only got married for legal reasons. We were already living together as a family and considered ourselves as such (ie mom and dad went to all school functions/meetings, dad coached weekend sports teams, etc). Nothing has changed for the better/worse and we don't plan for it too. If we hadn't been in our particular situation, we would have continued on living a "normal" unmarried life...but committed and happy just the same. So for us, shedding something we never wanted will be returning to our true intentions for our family...nothing will change though (except now I have a banging life insurance policy, and it's tempting, very very tempting! J/K). :) I think staying true to ourselves is important and I'm glad he and I agree on it. Though for power trip reasons, I may have to file first! :) @SQ I think for people who want to be married and have that connection with tradition, religion or whatever...then marriage is a great and beautiful thing for them. If my children want that, then I support it and will love it! It's just a personal thing both DH and I share...we were for all intents and purposes married before we were actually married. In fact, other than our marriage certificate (which is genuine -- not Karama genuine), our marriage could be a total hoax ... no one was invited and we didn't announce it to anyone. We just did it and moved on. I emailed my mom and she said, "good job" or something to that effect. No wedding gifts, no cards, no hugs...just another day in the GleekFamily life.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 13:32
i've replied! Me too :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 13:17
i've replied!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 12:49
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything? Maybe you are right ...But it is a little complicated. I would give you more details if we were in chat room. But all I can say right now is that if anyone has to make a move to fix this, would be him... i want details. but you're right, there are no chat room functions here. if you wana email me: kishmish at gmail dot com I would give you more details, if you tell me that you can give some advice that I have not already received! And if you could tell me why you think you can help me with this?? If you have similar experience or some sort of specialty that can help me, I would be extremely happy to ask for your help. I'll be honest. Not sure If I'll give you advice you haven't already received. But if you need someone to be a sounding board and you haven't already done that then feel free to email. ;) you have got mail :)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 12:09
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything? Maybe you are right ...But it is a little complicated. I would give you more details if we were in chat room. But all I can say right now is that if anyone has to make a move to fix this, would be him... i want details. but you're right, there are no chat room functions here. if you wana email me: kishmish at gmail dot com I would give you more details, if you tell me that you can give some advice that I have not already received! And if you could tell me why you think you can help me with this?? If you have similar experience or some sort of specialty that can help me, I would be extremely happy to ask for your help. I'll be honest. Not sure If I'll give you advice you haven't already received. But if you need someone to be a sounding board and you haven't already done that then feel free to email. ;)
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:59
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything? Maybe you are right ...But it is a little complicated. I would give you more details if we were in chat room. But all I can say right now is that if anyone has to make a move to fix this, would be him... i want details. but you're right, there are no chat room functions here. if you wana email me: kishmish at gmail dot com I would give you more details, if you tell me that you can give some advice that I have not already received! And if you could tell me why you think you can help me with this?? If you have similar experience or some sort of specialty that can help me, I would be extremely happy to ask for your help.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:50
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything? Maybe you are right ...But it is a little complicated. I would give you more details if we were in chat room. But all I can say right now is that if anyone has to make a move to fix this, would be him... i want details. but you're right, there are no chat room functions here. if you wana email me: kishmish at gmail dot com
425
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:48
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything? Maybe you are right ...But it is a little complicated. I would give you more details if we were in chat room. But all I can say right now is that if anyone has to make a move to fix this, would be him...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:43
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ... well, if you still find yourself thinking about him...perhaps you should get back in touch? maybe he *is* the one and both of you need to re-evaluate everything?
425
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2011 - 11:40
I think marriage or divorce is both paper works. But, don’t we buy houses and cars on paper? Don’t we register our names on papers? In this world, we need papers to prove our decisions are firm, to make things official. Everything in this world must be documented and signed to become official in the yes of public. My ex boyfriend asked me this on our first date, he asked me if I believed in marriage or not. I told him that marriage is just a piece of paper , but it is what makes people's love for each other official. It is like buying a house on a plot. I might give you my house on a plot, but if anyone questions our decision, or if anything goes wrong ,what is the proof that I gave you my house??? He wrote this poem for me then: When I give you my love, like a house on a plot, do I have to be your spouse to show that I love you lot? You were a veil and I still see beauty in your eyes, I am afraid you might have failed in that beauty to disguise. ...so how come you two split up? He had to go back to UK and the only way for me to go with him was for us to get married. And I never wanted to get married for the wrong reasons..... still keep in touch? has he moved on? are you still in love with him? Well , its been few months now , and no we are not in touch , He is with my friends and I know how he is doing .Still in love ??? Yes.And has he moved on ??? I don't think so ...
 
 

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