unemployment and "friends" | ExpatWoman.com
 

unemployment and "friends"

115
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 11:28

Hi Ladies,

I have the feeling that some of our "friends" have become really distant with my family since my husband has lost his job here. On the other hand other people that I barely knew offered us some help (like setting up dinners with people that could be helpful in the job hunting or offering us their sponsorship...).

Anyway I feel very sad about these "friends" that do not invite us anylonger and refuse also our invitations...

What do you think ? am I being paranoid ? or what would people act this way ? I really do not understand....

115
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 20:43
thank a lot for your kind thoughts and opinions...
238
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 19:13
You're most likely not being paranoid. A good friend should be "in your face" in this type of situation - checking to see if there was any way they could help, making sure you're travelling alright emotionally. Take it as a good time to "spring clean" your relationships.
379
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 19:09
Just checked and saw that indeed DH is setting up his own business. Good luck to him and I hope it takes off soon, and takes off big!!!! And when it does, see how fast your "friends" return, along with a load of excuses as to why they couldn't be there, blah, blah, blah. Don't be shy about mentioning to them how quick they were to abandon the friendship and how you don't need them back in your life.
266
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 18:19
Sorry to hear you're going through this, but it's better in the long run, you'll know who your real friends are! Hope your husband finds something soon, hugs!
192
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 18:17
look in this way: at least now you know who is who. Agree with AriVW, As says a French proverb:C'est dans le besoin que l'on reconnaît ses vrais amis and in English I think is "A friend in need is a friend indeed" I have read in another thread that your husband is about to set up his own company so good luck to him and wish you and your family all the best.
1100
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 18:13
Sorry, but I don't think you're just being paranoid, I have a friend who also lost their job recently, and the families so called friends basically did the same to them.... needless to say, my friend landed a far better job after 6 months of nothing, and suddenly a bunch of "friends" have come out of the woodworks again....
379
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 17:10
I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult period. I am all too familiar with it. Your husband will bounce back, as mine did. It's as if they are afraid of catching "unemployment" along with afraid that you may ask for some help. They are just making it easier for you to avoid them when your husband does bounce back. It's those that you least expect it that are there for you. Don't let it get you down, learn from it: friends are far and few in between in Dubai. Good luck to the both of you. Time takes care of so many things, and I hope one of those will be hubby finds employment. What does he do, if I may ask?
1811
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 12:26
I'm sorry you've experienced this and I hope a better job turns up soon for your husband. Unfortunately, a lot of people in Dubai like to network and want to know you for who you know and how you might be able to help them. I guess they were never real friends in the first place. I'm glad you have discovered some people who are really decent.
131
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 12:02
look in this way: at least now you know who is who.
858
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EW GURU
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 11:44
Sad but true. Dubai is full of fair weather friends... I got diagnosed with depression quite a few years ago and a close friend, who I honestly thought would always be there for me (as I was for her) basically disappeared. Turns out she didn't like to associate with people 'who brought her down'. I understand in a way, I was a bit of a misery guts for a few months, but she knew I was on mediaction and therefore trying to get better (which I did without her help, thank you very much!). But to me, friends should be there through the good times and bad and I would never 'dump' a friend because they were ill. On the other hand, a friend who I thought more of an associate really, turned up trumps. The genuine friends will stay and you're better rid of the others. Good luck and hope your husband gets a fabulous job and when your old 'friends' come crawling back hoping the good times will roll again, you can tell them where to stick it.
392
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 07 April 2011 - 11:33
i had a "friend" who i was friends with back home for many years. she moved to dubai many moons before i got here, and was doing well for herself. i got here, on my tod, and from the minute i put foot on uae soil our friendship has never been the same. she was so scared that i was going to ask her for help, money, a place to stay, car lifts etc that she just kept her distance. (i havent done any of that, and am very proud of the fact that i managed on my own & have succeeded in the end.) needless to say, we are no longer friends. good weather friends, i think that's what they're called. if they cant be there through the bad times, then you dont want them there for the good times. a pity that we have to go through a bad patch before we see who our real friends are. sorry to hear about your husband's job. best of luck x
 
 

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