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Where to report child abuse...

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:03

The couple and their 5 year old daughter that live above us are really starting to traumatize me. Constant yelling, shouting, hitting noises, crying and doors slamming at all hours of the evening and through the night. I've called the police so many times but according to them if it's a "family matter" they can't come...WTH!? Just now, they locked their daughter on the balcony for 2 verrryyyyy long minutes. I feel so bad, I want to go upstairs and take her out of there, but I'm scared of the dad!

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230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 05 January 2011 - 21:10

Thanks for your concerns! If I may ask, what services does Al Ameen offer? What will they be able to do? I know that the girl is not sick or unhealthy because the dad is always yelling and screaming at her in a very loud voice, locking her in the bedroom or on the balcony and that's what causes her to cry.

1337

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 21:22

Thanks for your feedback. According to the AD thread, the Dubai Foundation For Women & Children can't do anything unless there's a police report filed. I really am confused on whether or not I should say anything. The family is of Egyptian decent from what I know and the daughter doesn't go to school. When we are home on the weekends, during the day, it's the same thing! I'm afraid of what will happen once we "know" each other and our feelings are out and then imagine bumping into them in the hallways or elevator. It's a very quiet building. We have a friend on their floor who also hears noises and screaming through the night. edited by na115 on 03/01/2011 I have a child who spent many a year screaming throughout the night as well as other things - he wasn't being abused, he's autistic. It went on a lot during the day as well, so did a lot of other things that probably had the neighbours talking. At times we must have been seen as the worst parents on the planet. Just some food for thought. <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 03/01/2011</em>

394

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 20:01

I can completely understand what u are going through. I have had Egyptian neighbours for the past 10 months with two young boys. Every night the kids kept crying, father shouting and sometimes hitting...all went on till about 4 am. It used to disturb me a lot (had posted on the Qatar forum)but I could not do anything. For the last few weeks, I hear the kids leave/return from school and they are not up so late at night. Its very hard and I felt helpless so I can relate to your post. I had other neighbours from down the hallway come and ask me why my kids were crying so much but when I told them it was next door nobody wanted to approach that family. I hope that the little girl starts school soon and things improve. Take care

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 18:49

It can be very difficult to interfere in another family's business and even more distressing when a child is involved. It could also make things worse for the woman or the child by having "busybody" neighbours at the door. Could your DH perhaps watch out for the man outside the building and on the pretence of getting something from the car just say that they can be heard day and night. These walls are so thin blah blah. He might take it better from a man. OR could you speak to the woman when you know that her husband is out? Do other residents hear the noise? This is a really difficult problem and everyone who has replied share your concerns for the child. Do you see the child often, does she look scared or have bruises? If this family are aware that the whole block hears them, they may quieten down. As for being scared of them, this man cannot take everyone on. I agree that getting involved is not great but on the other hand, it's hard to turn a deaf ear on a child in danger.

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 17:21

I think it's best to go through Al Ameen. This is not something you can solve by yourself. I'm not sure there are any social services here, especially not for expats. There was a case a few months ago where a man was keeping his son chained up in the garden, the son was removed for a few days and then sent back home to his father's care - I don't know if there has been ongoing monitoring. It's really a very sad situation. It's strange that the girl is not going to school at 5. Maybe the family has a lot of problems with visas, finances etc and they can't afford school fees and the child may not even be legally resident so can't be registered at schoool. Sorry, I haven't helped with any better suggestions.

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 16:47

Thanks for your feedback. According to the AD thread, the Dubai Foundation For Women & Children can't do anything unless there's a police report filed. I really am confused on whether or not I should say anything. The family is of Egyptian decent from what I know and the daughter doesn't go to school. When we are home on the weekends, during the day, it's the same thing! I'm afraid of what will happen once we "know" each other and our feelings are out and then imagine bumping into them in the hallways or elevator. It's a very quiet building. We have a friend on their floor who also hears noises and screaming through the night. <em>edited by na115 on 03/01/2011</em>

2222

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 10:06

umm......when my kids are being exceptionally naughty I throw them out in the garden for a couple of minutes and shut the doors so I can't hear them. They then quieten down and come back in full of remorse. Just saying A bit different to a balcony......

Freckles 128127

787

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 10:03

umm......when my kids are being exceptionally naughty I throw them out in the garden for a couple of minutes and shut the doors so I can't hear them. They then quieten down and come back in full of remorse. Just saying

32

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 January 2011 - 09:58

There was a similar post on here sometime back. You could try the contacts provided on this thread and some good advice as well. http://www.expatwoman.com/abudhabi/forum/messages.aspx?TopicID=67933

429

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 23:53

U shud call the Al Ameen services. They are very very nice and speak english! And they respond very fast. You can make them listen to all the noise. Apart from the child abuse, u can just tell them u r losing sleep because of the constant uproar. Atleast maybe then the parents will limit their fights to when the child is in school. And i personally would suggesnt that you do not get involved. Assuming that you are an expat, this isnt your home country where you would get support because u did the right thing. Instead you can fall into trouble for interfering in others "family matters". Poor kid! My heart goes out to her.

2262

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 23:03

you could start here? I am sure they will lead you to the right people. http://www.timeoutdubai.com/community/details/6366

455

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:49

Thanks. So just to clarify....there's noooo familiy/child protection service here??! I dont think anyone on here knows or I guess you would have had an answer by now I do have someone I can ask at the office tomorrow who should know - I ll come back to you

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:45

Thanks. So just to clarify....there's noooo familiy/child protection service here??!

455

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:41

One thing that makes me SOO mad about all of this is that one night it was realllyyy horrible and heated, (I had nightmares from it), I called the police, they said they can't come unless the guard call them. So I quickly called the guard and he wouldn't pick up because he was SLEEPING! Granted it was 2 am, but that's his job! If the police came them, it would have been the perfect time because the fight was going on for 2 hours and it was LOUD! The next morning, I had the heart to call the company and put in a complaint about the guard. It was crucial that he be awake, alert and on the job at that time and he wasn't. PRECISELY !!!! And quite frankly if you get no where with the wife come back on and we ll find where you can report this properly - don t worry we ll help sort it In my opinion half the security guards are a complete waste of time ! Lived here many years and can count on one hand the number of good security people we have had Take care

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:38

One thing that makes me SOO mad about all of this is that one night it was realllyyy horrible and heated, (I had nightmares from it), I called the police, they said they can't come unless the guard called them. So I quickly called the guard and he wouldn't pick up because he was SLEEPING! Granted it was 2 am, but that's his job! If the police came then, it would have been the perfect time because the fight was going on for 2 hours and it was LOUD! The next morning, I had the heart to call the company and put in a complaint about the guard. It was crucial that he be awake, alert and on the job at that time and he wasn't. <em>edited by na115 on 02/01/2011</em>

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:35

na115 try and find a time when th husband is not there and yes i would go up in a friendly way and try nd talk Best of luck let us know how you get on x

230

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:32

I call the guard every time something happens and he goes and talks to them and asks them if everything is ok and checks up on them. He comes back and tells me that "Yes, they were arguing" or "The child was troubling them" or "The husband has a bit of a temper". I know all of that, which is why I want something done! The police say that they will not come unless the guard calls them and tells them to come. I have talked to the security guard numerous times and asked him to call the police at least once to scare them and for them to realize they are creating a negative environment not only for their family but others around them, but he hasn't yet. You all are right, I need to get the courage to go up there and talk to the wife. The idea to take the daughter out of there for a bit is really good. I have a feeling it would have to be done while the husband is away. Any of you up for coming with me??? :\ <em>edited by na115 on 02/01/2011</em>

455

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:32

Tell him / them that you will be reporting them if it continues as you believe it is not correct x this i do not agree. he will not listen to you if you say that. he will moreover get ****** and tell you to mind your own business. he will also argue more w his wife, blame her and the kid for causing "all this trouble with neighbors" be careful, threats and yelling does not help I did not mean shout i meant go up and speak to them as a " friendly " neighbour trying to help WHERE did I say yell ??? OP will take on board all opinions yes ???? yell was my addition. yours was the threatening part. but that does not work, neither does any yelling. Whatever dentro

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:29

Tell him / them that you will be reporting them if it continues as you believe it is not correct x this i do not agree. he will not listen to you if you say that. he will moreover get ****** and tell you to mind your own business. he will also argue more w his wife, blame her and the kid for causing "all this trouble with neighbors" be careful, threats and yelling does not help I did not mean shout i meant go up and speak to them as a " friendly " neighbour trying to help WHERE did I say yell ??? OP will take on board all opinions yes ???? yell was my addition. yours was the threatening part. but that does not work, neither does any yelling.

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:28

I agree with dentro, don't threaten to report the dad as he'll just take his anger more on his wife and child. It sounds like a conplicated situation so tread carefully.

455

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:28

Tell him / them that you will be reporting them if it continues as you believe it is not correct x this i do not agree. he will not listen to you if you say that. he will moreover get ****** and tell you to mind your own business. he will also argue more w his wife, blame her and the kid for causing "all this trouble with neighbors" be careful, threats and yelling does not help I did not mean shout i meant go up and speak to them as a " friendly " neighbour trying to help WHERE did I say yell ??? OP will take on board all opinions yes ????

1811

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:26

What a terrible situation. Does the little girl go to school? You'd hope she gets some time away from the fighting. Maybe you can befriend the mum and little girl and help out that way? Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:26

Tell him / them that you will be reporting them if it continues as you believe it is not correct x this i do not agree. he will not listen to you if you say that. he will moreover get pis.sed and tell you to mind your own business. he will also argue more w his wife, blame her and the kid for causing "all this trouble with neighbors" be careful, threats and yelling does not help <em>edited by dentro on 02/01/2011</em>

455

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:21

I would def go up the dad won t hurt you if he s sensible or he will end up in jail !!!! Tell them you are very concerned and make sure you give specifics ( like the balcony episode ) Tell him / them that you will be reporting them if it continues as you believe it is not correct Then from there make a decision But PLEASE do something x

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:21

I have no idea where to report these things here, but why don't you approach them and offer to help. Ask if the little girl can come to your house for half an hour to give them a break. that is also a great idea. nothing to be afraid of.

1184

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:20

you do not need to be afraid. just do not criticize them. go up and tell them the noise coming from their apartment is really too loud, could they turn the tv down, or do their activities quieter. that gives them a hint but does not embarrass them or make them angry. it is not helping the girl though, but for that, the parents probably have to divorce first, and that cannot be adviced simply.

369

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:07

I have no idea where to report these things here, but why don't you approach them and offer to help. Ask if the little girl can come to your house for half an hour to give them a break.

88

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2011 - 22:07

What about Al Ameen services? It must be awful, do you know them and can you speak to the wife when the husband is at work?

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