why do we need housemaids??? | ExpatWoman.com
 

why do we need housemaids???

186
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 07:28

Im a working mom! have a 6 years old daughter! i have had maid for the last 6 years but she has decided to go back! she was with us for 2 years. im sick and tired of maid issues and i wish i could live without one!!!
but how!!
its not the chores im afraid of! its the schools in dubai that dont have proper after school like western countries so that she could stay till i get back from work!!!
Maids are so costly and its a **** finding a good one!! Can't go through it all over again :((( she is only leaving in June and Im already thinking about it !!!
what do u think i could do!

2192
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 10:28
My friends in the UK ask me the question all the time ! why do I need a housemaid ?!!!! My response to them is that I need help. I work full time as does my husband. my son is at school full time and gets the school bus home and is dropped off by 3.30. I cant put him in after school club because it would mean arranging for pick up at 4.30 and I cant afford it every day. School bus is the only option. I need somone to supervise him until 6.30 which is when I get home. I have no family here and my neighbours also work so I cant ask them. I have tried to ask for help from the other mums in the school but I feel like im imposing. They do help me when it comes to the odd occasion when the school is closed due to maintenance problems. So my only solution is to have a housemaid. In the UK it was a different story where we would our son off to breakfast club in the morning and I was allowed to work flex hours as long as I have done 35 hours at the end of the week. I cant see any other way of managing. Im certainly not lazy and can be bothered to look after my child !
619
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 12:51
so, say someone offers to help with after school childcare, and you can't pay them for *legal reasons* , can you buy them a small gift as a thank you? Or would that also be seen as a payment? It may seem like a silly question to some, but genuinely, if someone were to offer me after school help & I couldn't pay them, I'd want to thank them somehow...... Technically, that would be considered payment. In regards to bubbling macaroni's reply, yes, she is right. BUT, and this is a huge BUT, people aren't going to reveal on here if they pay someone for these services, or receive money, gifts or other payment for these services. For example, let's say you don't have a maid, but your next door neighbour does. You are friends with your neighbour and you ask her if her maid could come to your house one evening to babysit your kids while you and hubby go out for dinner. I'm sure many people have done this, since they know the neighbour and the maid. Tehnically this is illegal, but is often done. Now, honestly, how many of you would want to chase after this maid, have her thrown in jail or deported for simply babysitting somone else's kids for a couple of hours. Yes, if she commits a crime or breaks the law in other regards, you would have a problem, but if your friend or neighbour is happy with her, then most likely all would go well.
605
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 12:18
so, say someone offers to help with after school childcare, and you can't pay them for *legal reasons* , can you buy them a small gift as a thank you? Or would that also be seen as a payment? It may seem like a silly question to some, but genuinely, if someone were to offer me after school help & I couldn't pay them, I'd want to thank them somehow......
1236
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 12:16
I never had a maid during my 2 years in Doha and laughed out loud when my DH's boss's wife told me i should have one. Why? I asked? Her answer? " You are the wife of a senior member of staff and we ladies don't demean ourselves by doing housework"!!??? We lived in a modest apartment (having turned down the huge villa we were offered) There were 2 of us who would have rattled around in the place. We were thought of by many as being a bit strange. The villas and apartments are so large in these countries that it must be daunting for any woman who has previously lived in a modest home to even think about cleaning them and it gives these ladies jobs too. I get irritated when I have to have tradesmen in the house for an hour or so so dear knows how I would have coped with someone cleaning up my mess. I knew women who had maids, respected them and had busy lives but I also knew women who had maids and put themselves on pedestals thinking that they were something special and just loved being addressed as Ma'am. I respect the fact that many people have maids and feel that their quality of life is enhanced by having someone to clean for them but it was just not for me. One of my Doha friends did have a large villa and cleaned it herself while a new young mum friend does it all too and she lives in an equally large villa. It's all down to personal preference.
30
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 12:00
SueB, who is your cleaner. I want sparking floors!!
5452
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 11:52
I have a housemaid for two main reasons: cooking and babysitting. I am a horrible cook and I don't want my kids or DH eating instant meals every night so it is nice to have someone who can cook and who likes to cook. I rarely use my housemaid for babysitting, but it is nice to know that I have someone there when I may need it. I have no one else to rely on so I believe the housemaid's role is important in my home.
619
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EW GURU
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 11:31
I personally think maids make people lazy here in Dubai. Seems nobody wants to take care of there own kids or clean up their own messes. I'm referring to more so nonworking moms. As for working moms, what other options do you have? If there isn't any after school activities for her to be involved in, a maid might be the only way? The problem is that there aren't many options. there are ways how other countries / our mothers solved the baby sitting problem without maids. like asking the neighbor. here hardly anyone introduces themselves or talk or invite over the neighbors. we no longer "ask for the missing ingreadient" from the neighbor when cooking. or help out eachother. why is that? just an observation. Please see below: And let's not forget that working mums who need a hand are so restricted by regulations that no one will come forward and offer services especially on here due to the *legal brigade*! So many people, especially on this forum are so quick to jump on someone for 'breaking the law'. You can't give a friendor neighbour a ride to work because that's considered a car lift and it's illegal. You can't babysit for your friend or neighbour for pay because that's breaking the law. You can't be a photographer at a wedding because you don't have the visa for it. You can't sell muffins for fundraising because you would need a license for this. It goes on and on. I really don't know why some people here are so intent on going after people who want to work part time to help someone out, or to hire someone part time to help them out. I have never known such an environment as here for this aspect, in other ME countries mums car pool, share child care and are far more helpful than here. I really found that too. I lived and worked in Thailand for 4 years and the environment there is so much more relaxed and welcoming. I taught ESL and I made a good living from it. A lot of my work was the result of word of mouth. There are technicalities for visas there in that you are only allowed to work on the site that your visa states, but everyone did other teaching, like at corporate sites, in students' homes, in coffee shops, etc.
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 10:38
dentro, it was more to popsicles reply :)
461
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:55
My original reason for having a maid was for afterschool child care when I work ( kids are now older ). I do enjoy not coming home to a messy house or laundry. My kids clean their rooms for the most part and help with dishes, vacumming, laundry and dusting. So, having a maid is a luxury item for me. When we came here we came for job stability, lifestyle, culture and money. We find with our helper that we have more quality family time but we're still teaching the kids to learn to clean and they do watch me clean and realize that our maid really is a helper. My husband golfs alot. That's his luxury item. My kids get to travel and quad, that's theirs. And if there's anyone that hates us that have maids, just to let you know our girl only works a few hours a day, weekends off, and we pay for her sons school. She is treated with love and respect.
4329
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:44
The thing is there is a difference between community spirit and getting used! I have been at the receiving end of a working mother whose son would just turn up for a lift home with my son....you could say - Well why don't you say something but it is very difficult when it involves a child who is actually suffering as well in all of it ( parents separated, Mum out all the time with job and boyfriends, sons left to fend for themselves etc) and he wasn't the only one. Some parents try to solve it ( when the children are older by throwing wads of money at them for the week for taxis and takeaways). I know I am not the only one- just speaking to someone again yesterday who has a working "friend" who does this all the time with activities "well your daughter is going anyway, can Blah Blah come along and I will do pick up" etc etc but then of course, it is never as straightforward as that. Unfortunately these are often the same women who will bleat on about their "career" in some office or other.
103
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:34
And let's not forget that working mums who need a hand are so restricted by regulations that no one will come forward and offer services especially on here due to the *legal brigade*! I have never known such an environment as here for this aspect, in other ME countries mums car pool, share child care and are far more helpful than here. I always had a house full of other's children and other parents always reciprocated when needed, community spirit.
4329
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:33
She can't without seriously sponging off other people who don't work and cadging lifts and care for her children - we have all been there on the receiving end of this , I am sure! Or she gets a part time only for the after care.
1184
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:30
...seriously, why when someone asks a question we have people who trot out the old "why can't you take care of your own children. Maids make people lazy. Why can't you clean up your own mess especially if you dont work"blah blah blah. Sure there are people who have the maids take care of their kids and they are not all expats. I am a non working woman and I have a cleaner come in. I could spend my days cleaning and organizing, cooking etc but I dont want to. I hate Ironing and am not good at it. I can always find better things to do that do my house. It is not dirty, maybe a bit dusty lol...my clothes and husbands clothes are clean, my kitchen gets cleaned but does not always sparkle. When the cleaner comes in, at the end of the day, the house sparkles, clothes are ironed, floors are washed. that makes us both happy and we can afford it. If a mother who works and has children needs help so be it. Many moms in Canada have some kid of helper be it baby sitter, nursery or after school programs. And..my gosh, we also have cleaners lol....so stop with the puckering of the lips and let us get on with it lol... that is all ok, but the OP's question was how she could possibly AVOID having a maid as she actually does not want one.
103
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:29
"the schools in Dubai don't have proper after school"........... Schools weren't really designed to be baby-sitting services in Dubai or anywhere else. Schools in the Uk offer many services now such as breakfast clubs and after school care. It is not about babysitting. They have moved on from sitting with slates and beating children with canes to being a vital part of the local community. The Gov in the UK realise that people are in exactly the situation the OP describes and so they have moved to policies like this to allow women the ability to work if they want or NEED to do so. Absolutely Spongemonkey as well as schools having opening hours that relate to the majorities working hours.
4329
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:28
To the OP, solutions are difficult here and that is why some women do put their worklives on the back burner while here. Maids can be a wonderful solution here to so many issues - if you get the right one.
2262
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:27
...seriously, why when someone asks a question we have people who trot out the old "why can't you take care of your own children. Maids make people lazy. Why can't you clean up your own mess especially if you dont work"blah blah blah. Sure there are people who have the maids take care of their kids and they are not all expats. I am a non working woman and I have a cleaner come in. I could spend my days cleaning and organizing, cooking etc but I dont want to. I hate Ironing and am not good at it. I can always find better things to do that do my house. It is not dirty, maybe a bit dusty lol...my clothes and husbands clothes are clean, my kitchen gets cleaned but does not always sparkle. When the cleaner comes in, at the end of the day, the house sparkles, clothes are ironed, floors are washed. that makes us both happy and we can afford it. If a mother who works and has children needs help so be it. Many moms in Canada have some kid of helper be it baby sitter, nursery or after school programs. And..my gosh, we also have cleaners lol....so stop with the puckering of the lips and let us get on with it lol...
471
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:27
there are ways how other countries / our mothers solved the baby sitting problem without maids. like asking the neighbor. here hardly anyone introduces themselves or talk or invite over the neighbors. we no longer "ask for the missing ingreadient" from the neighbor when cooking. or help out eachother. why is that? just an observation. That is why most people can never feel ''at home'' here. No sense of community, no family, you are just on your own...
4329
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:24
"the schools in Dubai don't have proper after school"........... Schools weren't really designed to be baby-sitting services in Dubai or anywhere else. Schools in the Uk offer many services now such as breakfast clubs and after school care. It is not about babysitting. They have moved on from sitting with slates and beating children with canes to being a vital part of the local community. The Gov in the UK realise that people are in exactly the situation the OP describes and so they have moved to policies like this to allow women the ability to work if they want or NEED to do so.
1184
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 09:19
there are ways how other countries / our mothers solved the baby sitting problem without maids. like asking the neighbor. here hardly anyone introduces themselves or talk or invite over the neighbors. we no longer "ask for the missing ingreadient" from the neighbor when cooking. or help out eachother. why is that? just an observation.
176
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 08:19
"the schools in Dubai don't have proper after school"........... Schools weren't really designed to be baby-sitting services in Dubai or anywhere else.
1692
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 08:10
Or if you don't have/need to work, give up until your child is old enough not to need you at home. Afterschool stuff is just not that readily available, and those that are only seem to be for about an hour after school, which still doesn't help working parents.
188
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 07:58
I personally think maids make people lazy here in Dubai. Seems nobody wants to take care of there own kids or clean up their own messes. I'm referring to more so nonworking moms. As for working moms, what other options do you have? If there isn't any after school activities for her to be involved in, a maid might be the only way?
349
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 23 September 2011 - 07:54
Sorry to hear about your dilemma Sima. Reasons for having a maid: I come home from work, dinner has been made, the house is clean and I can sit quietly with the children and do some homework plus go for a swim and walk the dogs. The weekends are free to have some family time and hubby and I can go on a date. Our pets have 24 hour care at home when we are away and the plants don't perish because they are getting watered. We have a lovely older lady working for us now, she is almost like a grandmother to the children and they adore her. Just want to add, I also work full-time and did so without a maid for a full year - in hindsight there wasn't much quality time for DH and me as a couple or for all of us as a family. Keeping in mind that as an expat you don't have extended family to babysit etc.
 
 

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