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EWmums

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ewmoda

confessions of us Mothers

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 09:50

so I know we all want everybody to think we are perfect and we all know that we aren't perfect at all.
I know I had my share of bad parenting but we do what we can to get us through every day.
being almost always alone at home with my son I often in mornings give my son a muffin and put mickey mouse club house on my cellphone for him to watch which gives me about one extra hour of sleep.
i've let him play over an hour in the tub so I can finally get to cut my nails and pluck my eyebrows
i've bribed him with chips so he would stay calm in his stroller while i do the grocery

now i know im not the only one. so was wondering what other tricks are there. who else has done something out of desperation

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MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 July 2012 - 18:45

Hahaha thompson .... Poor little one.... Good he at least had fun

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 May 2012 - 12:53

Now this is going back some years but, DS had been invited to a party at the theatre it was Christmas time so lots going on, we arrived it was dark and ( thought ) he saw his friend and I (thought ) I saw the parents so in ds went ( he was 5) and I passed him over to a lovely lady who worked there and off I go for a few hours to finish the Christmas shopping........... I go back and collect him and I had got the date wrong!! However ds had a great time and I got to finish the Christmas shopping!!:) edited by thompson1 on 09/05/2012 <em>edited by thompson1 on 09/05/2012</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 May 2012 - 12:42

The one about 'mommy's juice' made me laugh as after a long day of helping me with my DD and DS my mother has 'Grandma's medicine' (white wine).

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 May 2012 - 08:15

i know this is a old old thread and half dead but im sure that we can collect more dirty little secrets ^_^

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2011 - 20:33

oh seems like lots of lovely bottles stories hahaha, my son only ones had his gums rubbed with bacardi because my mom thought thats the best way to sooth the pain of teething, I must admit that it did help but my poor little guy slept for like 5 hours . recently thought I was in such a hurry to leave and finally got him ready and just went to take my shoes when he suddenly was gone, so i search for him and find him in the bathroom emptying the whole baby bubble bath bottle in his very long curly hair *_* by this time my friends called me a million times but It took me another 10 min if not more to remove the bubbles from his hair and I turn to take the towel to dry him off and get him another tshirt but my dear son needed only those few seconds that mommy did not look to put some more of that bubbly stuff in his hair and saying mommy wowww wowww wowww soo cool *_* i could really not be mad at him as he seemed to be very excited and happy with what he did and thankfully my friends were understanding and could kinda laugh about it after they waited over half n hour for us :)

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 20:10

I feel better now. I took DS shopping with me one day in the UK over the summer, and he was in the trolley in the Majestic wine warehouse playing with a corkscrew while bump and I went wine shopping. I did my best to ignore all the stares and the look on the sales guy's face when I asked him where his Sancerre was.

Hello.Again.Kitty

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 20:06

I have to add though (to the gin post) that I was alone with my two under-twos and DS was very, very hard work for the first 6 weeks, so I was getting my shopping delivered and the lovely middle-aged Tescos chap helped take it all in to my kitchen and unpack, whilst DS was screaming hysterically in the living room... as I pulled out the large bottle of gin (the bigger bottle was on special offer, honest, guv!), I glanced up apologetically to him and in a priceless moment, he just looked at me with knowing sympathy, nodded and smiled. It's little instants like that when you know that you're still teetering on the right side of sanity!

morningbaby49005

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 15:31

he he! loving the resurrection of this thread!:)

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EW GURU

Latest post on 16 October 2011 - 13:41

Some brilliant ideas ... noting them all :)

Hello.Again.Kitty

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 October 2011 - 00:19

Not that we drink lots in our family, but... I was brought up with the idea that you should try everything once, which is fine... although my dad especially thinks it's hilarious to let my kids try wine and stuff. The problem is they like it, so we get situations like my DS asking for beer when he sees it (actually, so does DD), DD seeing a bottle of Red in the fridge and declaring "I like red wine. We could have it for breakfast!" and my personal favourite... I was probably writing something on a forum and DD (then about 20 months) was rummaging around in the kitchen. I hear some clinking (and a lot of silence) so turn around and see DD clutching my large bottle of Gordon's. I was about to shout at her a bit, but she burst into a big grin and said "Mummy's juice!" [cough'> Couldn't help but laugh. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 15/10/2011</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 October 2011 - 19:11

confession of my darling Mum from the 70's ... when she needed me to sit quietly (at home) so that she could have some peace to get on with cooking or something, she'd whip out the UHU glue tube and smear a little onto my palms and stick them together! When I pulled them apart, I'd happily sit for ages peeling every little bit of glue from my hands. If she knew I told you this, she'd kill me ;)

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 14 October 2011 - 16:29

and just to add as I sit here replying DS is currently playing with the toilet brush! thankfully its from one of hte toilets we don't use that often if at all. LOL... still pretty gross... ok I better go be mum

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 October 2011 - 00:17

Some friends were going to ikea, I tagged along. Got my poor darling's finger stuck in the stupid pram contraption. Was all swelled up and she was howling. Cursing myself. Why did I go? :( My poor baby. I feel like I'm a horrible mum :(

pilotsprincess12586

251

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 21:10

My DD was around 18months old and she fell down the sewage drain ( it was shared with the next door and blocked) the cover was taken off for this reason. I was in the garden pegging washing out, DD walked the plank of wood and fell in, covered in Poop, loo roll the works. That is hysterical. Obv it prob wasn't at the time, but it did make me laugh out loud!

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 17:37

My DD was around 18months old and she fell down the sewage drain ( it was shared with the next door and blocked) the cover was taken off for this reason. I was in the garden pegging washing out, DD walked the plank of wood and fell in, covered in Poop, loo roll the works.

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 11 October 2011 - 17:29

I wouldn't call it bad parenting, but more like a survival kit for a struggling mother :D cartoons on TV or DVD - for 15-30 min of sleeping for tired mother french fries - for fussy eater 7up or Sprite - for tummy problems chocolate - for supermarket shopping lollypop - for visits to doctor games on phone or iPad - for very bored child at the restaurant chewing gum - for ears while landing/take off on airplane chips/sweets/biscuits - for screaming child at the back seat of the car

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 23:34

its been some time since ive posted something in here, and i cant imagine nothing new happening to u guys until now hahahahahahha. anyway last time when i was not well and called in a maid to clean up a bit so i can lay in bed, my son kept on trying to pull me out of bed so i told him if he lets mommy sleep for 10 min he can do whatever he wanted. so gladly he just left and he was soo quiet for more tha 30 min, than I wake up to see if he is still ok or flushed away or something and there he was, all blue from top till toe and he had markers and the whole toilet was red, than in between the tiles of my entire bedroom he painted with red and green marker, i looked at the maid who just finished the house and yes she had started with the bathroom n bedroom hahahahha. man the look on her face was not a happy one but i did promise her more money and to be able to relax a bit more i just let my son play again with hsi markers in the living room while the maid was cleaning the bedroom again *_* that maid never picked up her phone anymore after that day hahahahah

pilotsprincess12586

251

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 17:41

I didn't know breadstick bribery in the supermarket / mall / car was bad parenting? I couldn't get through a day without them! I lost our DS in LHR T5 when we returned back to Dubai in Sept. As we went through security I was putting the buggy up and trying to hold the baby all at the same time and assumed that DS (aged 2) was with my DH who was faffing putting his belt back on. Suddenly realise he's not with me, nor DH, slightly frantic then saw a member of BA staff with a v upset small child who had caught him on his way to the 1st class lounge trying to get in! Well, at least he has expensive taste. But my what a panic for a sec, and I felt like such a bad mother. Of course then I had 7hours on a plane with him and all my love and panic for him when he was lost ebbed away with every passing hour.... ;)

pilotsprincess12586

251

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 17:41

I didn't know breadstick bribery in the supermarket / mall / car was bad parenting? I couldn't get through a day without them! I lost our DS in LHR T5 when we returned back to Dubai in Sept. As we went through security I was putting the buggy up and trying to hold the baby all at the same time and assumed that DS (aged 2) was with my DH who was faffing putting his belt back on. Suddenly realise he's not with me, nor DH, slightly frantic then saw a member of BA staff with a v upset small child who had caught him on his way to the 1st class lounge trying to get in! Well, at least he has expensive taste. But my what a panic for a sec, and I felt like such a bad mother. Of course then I had 7hours on a plane with him and all my love and panic for him when he was lost ebbed away with every passing hour.... ;)

kiwispiers15400

2782

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 14:10

Ok I have a new one hot off the press, while re-reading this just now, DS was in my peripheral waving something at me, I finally looked and it was a gas lighter, the push button type!. How this child has survived the last 14 months I do not know!

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 13:58

Awesome. Cracking up. Only way I can get ds through shopping is with food so always take something, recently discovered his love of those ginger biscuits from ikea... Have stocked up ;) Was outside with ds he had just started walking so must be round 1st birthday. I had to turn stove down as dinner boiling over. I was all of 20 seconds to return to ds drinking like a dog on all fours out of the dogs water bowl. Ahhhh ha ha, gross!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 October 2011 - 13:27

Sorry for bringing a dead thread back to life, but I haven't laughed like this in ages :D

kiwispiers15400

2782

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 22:02

rat poo, that one wins :)

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 21:37

ahhahahahah no comment

Hello.Again.Kitty

1861

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 21:33

Lol! Hilarious! :) I must be really tired coz I read it and was thinking why you would take a child who'd swallowed panadol to african and eastern ;) And then i thought 'you shouldn't mix medicine and alcohol" ;) (blush!) loL! * off to ice my head and get coffee* edited by ashc on 04/08/2011 Now [i'>that[/i'> really would see me being denounced to social services - my daughter's just over-dosed and I'm off to the offie to make sure I have enough gin! A&E = Accident and Emergency (and yes, I always smile when I see the alcohol emporium of the same acronym - "OMG!! It's an emergency - I'm completely out of gin! Quick, off to A&E with you!") ---- Hmm... more coming back to me now. Was bf-ing DS and heard the front door open, so shouted to DD to not go out. Of course, she did, ran straight into a rose bush and came in with her cheek pouring with blood. She's still got the scars... BUT she's never run out the front door since. Was chatting to someone in JBR and DD, then 9 months old, was crawling on the pavement (that isn't even ok, really, is it? Eeek)... the person then asked, in passing, what DD was eating, so I remembered I was the mum and prised her mouth apart. It looked grey and crumbly, so I looked around where she was. Rat poo. Was [cough'> probably typing some parenting words of wisdom on EW with my back to the kids. I catch a whiff of nappy, but think something along the lines of "oh, it can wait until I've finished typing"... some minutes later, DS pulls himself up on the sofa and chuckles, so I turn around, look at him and go... "what have you been eating?!" Bleugh. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 04/08/2011</em>

MommyOficially17027

182

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 20:58

haha kiwispiers. the going out the door thing i also had once but he was butt naked and i live in a flat, so there he went and we just had new neighbors moving in next door *_* what a good first impression that must have been hahaha but the thing is that he can unlock the door on his own and than before u know it he is out, thank god he cant reach for the elevator button else id be in real trouble bath time was also crazy for me, they can be really slippery little suckers haahahahah. now i just pop him in a bubble bath and he swims in there and plays for an hour or so and if im too tired i wont even wash him but just dress him and put him off to bed :( ive let him today watch over 3 hours of tv so i can cook something and be a bit online *_* @Muurtje haha thats bad but I remember something similar happening with my brother back home, mom also kept him upside down in the big dustbin <em>edited by MommyOficially on 04/08/2011</em>

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EW GURU

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 20:00

This post has made me laugh! My friends Mum once held her upside down by her ankles over a stairwell and told her that if she didn't stop being a pain she would drop her. Friend looked up, smiled and said: No you won't. To this day still have great respect for Mum for not actually dropping her!

kiwispiers15400

2782

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 19:36

hahahaha yes honey ur not yet in the bad moms club lol dont tell me thats the only thing ever happened? *_* that would make me feel like a really really bad mother hahaha as well as the vomiting, carving knife/baby sword and hot green chilli incidents?, I'm pretty good in what I feed him, since he has reflux and allergies I don't have much choice, but otherwise, ummm... I haven't changed his cot sheets in ages and I'm pretty sure there is a brown stain in the shape of a one year old in fetal position starting to form. DS spent the first 4 months of his life watching Baby Einstein DVD's while he had "tummy time" and I had "mummy time" then he started crawling at 5 months (no doubt from all the tummy time) and climbing onto the TV cabinet by 6 months and that joy was over, until I discovered that after a walk, I have a small window where I can leave him strapped in his pram in front of the TV before he realizes. I left the front door open last week and retrieved him form the footpath, not sure how long he had been there but isn't it great I spent so much time teaching how to go down steps backwards so as not to hurt himself. I opened a door into his head once and told DH he got the bruise from falling over. :) I let him play outside in 45 degrees every afternoon while I watch from the comfort of the AC'd kitchen Oh and I nearly drowned him as a baby, but he is a wriggly little worm come bath time, I can be forgiven right? edited by kiwispiers on 04/08/2011 <em>edited by kiwispiers on 04/08/2011</em>

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 19:23

Oh ladies what a lovely thread,I have been laughing so loud my husband came in to see what I was up to !! You should consider moving this to the main forum, I don't usually drop into the Preg/baby forum ( I am a gran ) and came upon this. You all sound like really loving and fun mommies dealing with all the ups and downs of child rearing as they come.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 04 August 2011 - 19:00

hahahaha here comes all the dirty little secrets lol, although i prefer to call them tips heheheheh OK so one really bad one that i forgot to mention is when I bought some laxatives and when home i kept all the shopping on the ground to run to bathroom, when i came back ds opened the box of the laxatives and managed to swallow 2 of them *_* the best part was that i had over 5 bags on the ground yet he found only that one haha. i got soo scared and he pooped for 3 days like crazy hahahahaahha hmmm... swap that for Panadol Extra, as wot happened in our family (DH left some on the table without me knowing)... DD [i'>obviously[/i'> found them and started popping her new "sweeties" as I was hanging out the washing. I deduced that she'd probably taken 3, so whisked off to A&E. Thankfully apparently you need to have about 10g of paracetamol before it starts getting dangerous, but seeing her on a hyper caffeine high did lighten the mood - her jumping up and down on the patient's bed with a broad grin on her face shouting "hello another doctor!" as the paediatrician came in. Lol! Hilarious! :) I must be really tired coz I read it and was thinking why you would take a child who'd swallowed panadol to african and eastern ;) And then i thought 'you shouldn't mix medicine and alcohol" ;) (blush!) loL! * off to ice my head and get coffee* <em>edited by ashc on 04/08/2011</em>

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