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Is DH undermining my authority?

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70

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 20:47

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling it isn't quite right. And you are right - it is well intended - he is just trying to make it easier. I wouldn't mind if he did it occasionally - just not every time he discusses his behaviour. Thanks for opinions - it's helped.

3220

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 20:29

My DH also does it. Its well intended and boys tend to listen better to their daddys.

184

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 20:27

Pancake, my DH does the same. Before going to work/work trip overseas everyday, he will give a prep talk to my DD on being "good to mummy". Like you, I find it quite annoying. So, I told him just ask her to be good and LISTEN to mummy, LOL.

Hello.Again.Kitty

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 19:58

It's well meaning, but maybe the turn of phrase needs tweaking. I had a similar issue with DD's nursery - her [lovely'> teacher had realised that DD loves her Daddy and was eager to please, so would kind of bribe her by saying things like "This will make Daddy happy" or, yes, "Be good for Daddy". I had to ask her to stop, because just as you do, I feel that "being good" should be in general, not a/ reward based or b/ for a specific person. I think your DH wants to help/support you and realises how challenging toddlers can be... not least because they seem to save all their extra-wonderful behaviour for Mummy... because we're just so spethial. DH gives DD a pep talk in the morning, but phrases it all quite well, imo... as in "I want you to be really good today and to listen to Mummy and do as you're told"... or if she tries the good cop/ bad cop thing with both of us present, we say "what did Mummy/ Daddy just say to you?" so that there's no interpretation and reinforces that when one of us says something, kiddo won't look to the other for confirmation, because it's just bounced right back.

70

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2011 - 19:35

OK, this may sound a strange one but hear goes... DH is always saying to DS (3) things like "Now you be good for mummy today" or "You do as Mummy said". Basically all behaviour seems to relate to me. I feel that DS should just be good - not for me - he just should. It is just a feeling I get when DH says this that it is not quite right but am I over reacting and reading too much into this?

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