For Those Who Have Had 2 Children Under the Age of 2 | ExpatWoman.com
 

For Those Who Have Had 2 Children Under the Age of 2

115
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 November 2011 - 10:12

How did you prepare your older child for the arrival of the baby? DS will be 20 months when his sibling is born. All tips and advice greatly welcomed.

TIA

1861
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 21 November 2011 - 19:01
DD was 21 months when DS arrived and she certainly noticed! My advice would be to make any changes a couple of months in advance - new bed, new room decor, and even your manner towards them. I know it sounds harsh, but with a newborn, you will not be able to pick your toddler up at his/her every whim, nor jump to attention every time they demand something, so wean then off that behaviour early - without becoming distant or less affectionate. I, for example, instigated sitting down for cuddles, so if DD wanted a cuddle, we'd sit down on the sofa and have proper cuddles, not her being randomly picked up. When bubs comes, feeling time can be a sticky point where #1 will often come and want affection. Give it, but on your terms, so for example, use feeding time, as reading time. Also, #2 is #1's brother or sister, so try not to be over-protective of the newborn - they are surprisingly hardy and #1 needs to learn how similar they are as well as the associated boundaries. Obviously, the fontanelle shouldn't be prodded, but try not to flick #1's hands away from a maybe not-so-gentle stroke or intervene as soon as s/he gives #2 a big cuddle. You may also want to have a load of toddler meals already frozen and ready to ram into the microwave one-handed. Lastly, record "Get off your brother/sister" and "Gently" and have both phrases ready for seemingly eternal playback.
92
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 November 2011 - 10:51
Well my DD was 2 yrs when DS arrived. I kept telling her though before that , that your brother is coming, you will have a playmate, he will be very small so, you'll have to take care he doesn't cry etc etc. But actually there was no need to do that. DD had hard time coping with the changes. She became very cranky because she saw my attention is divided already. Just keep involving your first one with whatever you do with the second coz children do feel a lot of negligence and insecurity in this whole change process. The smaller one won't know anything yet so if possible give more attention to the elder one . Good Luck it's going to be fun:) P.S : Now DD is the one scolding me whenever DS cries for anything lol.
294
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 November 2011 - 19:35
My first wasn't 14 months when DD was born and he didn't even care. And then they were both still young when #3 arrived (3 under 3). #3 was early and was in hospital for a couple of weeks and that still didn't make too much of a difference. As much as it is lovely to have a new baby in the house, we never made a big deal about it as they slept a lot during those first few weeks which meant we could still give the eldest child attention which meant he didn't feel left out. By the time baby was a bit older, the attention was about even between them and never had any problems at all.
2937
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 20 November 2011 - 10:43
DD was born three weeks ago and DS is 17 months. Anon is right - he hasn't really noticed! When he first came into the hospital to see us he was interested, and he's still interested, but apart from the odd peek into the crib (and the odd throwing of toys in her direction, or over-enthusiastic patting) he hasn't seemed to be that bothered. His behaviour, though, has most definitely deteriorated since she arrived! He totally ignores the word 'no' now, even more than before, and throws a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way. A few friends suggested getting him a toy baby to carry around, and for me to do the same so he got used to me having another 'baby' with me, but DD was early so we never got the chance.
5452
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 20 November 2011 - 10:21
IMO, I don't think you can prepare a child of that age for a new sibling. They are totally unaware. My DD was 18 months-old when her sister was born and her arrival at home was not noticed at all by DD1.
 
 

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