Getting over my emergency c section

Thank you Ladies for your kindness. Nomad hows the weather with you? We are going home for Christmas & its going to be COLD !!! God bless you . Not too bad at the mo.....cold at -7*c but bearable!I really don't mind the snow and cold over the festive season,went to a Christmas fair this weekend and it was just ' so right ' snow falling, fires going ,chestnuts roasting,hot cocoa. Have a wonderful trip home.

Thank you Ladies for your kindness. Nomad hows the weather with you? We are going home for Christmas & its going to be COLD !!! God bless you .

My first son was born after 24 hours in labour & then a C section. I was 18 yrs old & had a very healthy pregnancy apart from the fact that my sons head never engaged. He had been turned but refused to stay in the correct position. I was in hospital throughout the labour. But my son went into fetal distress & the nurses were reluctant to call the surgeon at an unsociable hour. By the time the C section was started my son was already fairly distressed, when he was born he didn't breath for 11 minutes. He eventually died 10 days later from the traumatic birth & pre birth conditions. I also felt it must have been my fault. My sisters could almost deliver a baby while washing up . SO it must be me ?? All I can say to you is thank God you are both safe & well. Im not trying to diminish your feelings. Please know as a mother whatever we do for our children its almost never enough. God bless you & congratulations . Sorry for your loss, even though years have probably passed, this would be so hard and painful to go through. {{{HUGS}}} Neamhai, I ended up having an emergency C-section with my first, then my second baby was breach and my 3rd pregnancy was twins so 3 C-sections for me!!!! At the moment you are still very hormonal and probably sleep deprived. go easy on yourself, there are so many other things in life to beat yourself up about. Try to focus on the fact that you go this beautiful healthy little girl into this world safely and you did what you had to do. TDB, I can't believe that you were induced like that for the convenience of the Dr. How awful and stressful for your body! and your wee one. They do that kind of thing a lot in DXB from what I gather.

Neamhi your post just broke my heart.....so wonderful that you have family visits to the grave and your little angel lives on. A great big cyber HUG to you my cyber friend xxx Sirocco you have really hit the nail on the head,there is just not enough discussion about the possibility of c sections many I know don't even want to think about it but all possibilities should be discussed. My gynae, a relative,was a very no nonsense man lay all the cards on the table told me exactly how and why he would do vag as opposed to C section or the other way around. I had absolute faith in him even though I didn't like him, told me not to expect special treatment because we were family !! As if, I was so wary of him I wouldn't have dared ..... TDB I am sure that things will go a lot easier with your next birth as you have the advantage of knowing what happened last time and I am sure you have covered all these bases with you doctor. One thing we shouldn't forget is even with vag births mothers can still fell 'disconnected' which has a lot to do with PPD and not just c section births. TP OP I would definitely also look into the possibility of PPD not down playing the fact that you feel a failure for not being able to have a 'Normal' birth but just looking t it from a different angle. <em>edited by Nomad on 07/11/2013</em>

Neamhai, I am so sorry to read about your ordeal, and I do admire you for the way you have managed to keep your little angel's memory alive within your family. I do think there is an important point which is that no matter which decade, women are still not properly informed during their antenatal appointments about their chances of ending up with a c section and why that might be the best thing. We are all fed tons of information about natural options and how to prepare, yet we do not psyche ourselves up for the possibility it might not go according to plan. No wonder many are caught offguard and end up feeling like a failure. A more balanced view would no doubt help mothers who go through EMCS cope better.

Thank you TDB, I don't usually share that part of our lives as I know there are may Ladies who may be pregnant & the last thing I want to do is frighten anyone. It was horrendous & now 33 years later still is. At 18 I wasn't very good at standing up for myself or my SOn, which just increses the guilt. I should have protested I should have done something. In a hospital run by Nuns a womans voice in labour didn't really account for much. Unless you were connected or had enough money to become a problem. My children have grown up visiting there brother & now my gran children do the same. His life & death are a part of our lives even with the next generation. My grandson aged 5 on a visit to the cemetery wanted to know why we couldn't have a party. His sister at about the same age said we should bring a birthday cake. I have an angel in heaven of that Im certain. He has watched over us all these years & helped us through many tough times. Sorry for hijacking your thread.

My first son was born after 24 hours in labour & then a C section. I was 18 yrs old & had a very healthy pregnancy apart from the fact that my sons head never engaged. He had been turned but refused to stay in the correct position. I was in hospital throughout the labour. But my son went into fetal distress & the nurses were reluctant to call the surgeon at an unsociable hour. By the time the C section was started my son was already fairly distressed, when he was born he didn't breath for 11 minutes. He eventually died 10 days later from the traumatic birth & pre birth conditions. I also felt it must have been my fault. My sisters could almost deliver a baby while washing up . SO it must be me ?? All I can say to you is thank God you are both safe & well. Im not trying to diminish your feelings. Please know as a mother whatever we do for our children its almost never enough. God bless you & congratulations .

Hi wifeindubai, I really don't get why people feel like they have failed if they have a c section. I had a similar situation to you, 12hrs of labour, 3hrs pushing and nothing happening. I was given the choice to hang on for another hour or have the c section, to be honest I was so tired by then, I saw the offer of a c section as a blessing. Turns out the cord was wrapped round my baby's neck so he would never have come out 'normally.' If you think about it we are really lucky we live in a time where medically, they can do such operations. I certainly don't feel like I have failed, or taken the easy way out, like you I have experienced both types. If I am lucky enough to have another baby in the future I will def be opting for a planned c section. As most of the girls on this thread have said, the most important thing is you have a healthy baby. Please don't waste your precious time with your new baby wishing the birth could have been different, they are not going to care how they came into the world! Congrats and I do hope you manage to stop beating yourself up about things. xx <em>edited by gingerbreadlady on 06/11/2013</em>

If you search for the recent "positive birth stories" thread you will read some vbac stories including my own. I did not see my c section as any sort of failure although I did get annoyed by peoples sympathetic "ohhhh's" when they discovered I had had the section, as though something terrible had happened. I can tell you I actually had less pain with my c section than my vbac, and my baby was equally as healthy. Probably your labour didn't progress as your baby was not in the right position (possibly hyperflexed like my first baby was?), or maybe your epidural was too strong and so you were unable to feel to push properly, neither of these two things are your fault and frankly, there are a lot of worse things that can happen to you than having a c section. I can imagine your birth was scary and painful during the pushing stage, maybe you are a bit traumatised and could do with talking that through with someone? With my Vbac everything went very smoothly and I pushed for around 10 minutes tops,(I think less actually) and it still felt like hours so two hours to me sounds like a serious effort, I can't even imagine. I did not take an epidural and was pushing in a kneeling position which I think was helpful in moving things along, something you may want to consider if attempting a VBAC as they tend to call a c section even more quickly with a VBAC. Maybe look at it this way, you had a difficult birth and you ended up with a healthy baby, so basically you had a successful birth. Try saying it out loud "I had a successful c section" as many times as possible until you can accept it. What if? Well really, what if?, If you had pushed for longer and managed to get your baby out vaginally what would have been the difference, no abdominal scar? a few weeks less pain? You'd still have the same baby and be the same mother at the end of the day. Your body will heal, you'll forget the pain, try to enjoy your baby and move forward.

I had an emergency c section about 3 months back, after 7 hours of pain and no progress even after getting epidural. I was dilating but my babys head was still floating because she was in a tricky position. I so not expected it because my tummy was so low during my last trimester and everyone who met me said I was going to have a normal delivery. My postpartum days were very painful and only thing which made me happy was my healthy little daughters cute face. Be happy that you got your baby perfectly fine. I have heard tragic cases which I don't want to even mention it over here. Btw Congratulations!!!xoxo <em>edited by mssassy on 06/11/2013</em>

Hi WID, I went through a similar course of events, and ended up with an emergency C section just like you. Prior to that, I had prepared as much as I could: yoga, swimming, acupuncture, hypnobirthing and more. Yet when I eventually held my baby, the only thing I could think of was how lucky we were to have a healthy baby and how things could have gone horribly wrong had it not been for the intervention from the Doctors. As Perkynana says, you went through both types of labour, that is no mean feat. Enjoy your precious daughter and don't dwell on this. You did great and you are now the incredibly lucky mother of a gorgeous daughter. No one will judge you for having an EMCS, I promise.

Hi WID, many many congratulations on the birth of your daughter! I also can't offer any advice but just wanted to say that you did your absolute best - what happened was written both for you and for your baby girl. these things are beyond your control and not in any way reflective of your behaviour/ effort etc. Please dont beat yourself up about it, these first few days and weeks with your newborn are so precious and fly by so quickly, immerse yourself fully in memorising how she looks right this minute, how she smells, how tiny her hands and feet are. in a few weeks she will be different and you will miss this time.

Hi there, I had a very similar experience, fully dialated but not progressing, ended up with emergency C section. I can understand why you feel this way but honestly, don't, just focus on the fact you have a healthy baby and that you are fine. I had all these plans about hypnobirthing, no medication etc and it all went down the drain once contractions got to 2 mins apart but I was still only 4cm. I was glad I chose the epidural at that point and it really helped once we went in the OR as well, as they simply had to up the dose and it all could happen very fast. It did not go the way I expected but I later realized I was hanging on to a somewhat selfish idea of what it should have been like. Nobody should judge you or think you made any less of an effort because in the end you had the c section. If they do they are being unreasonable and you should pay no attention whatsoever to them. And you shouldn't judge yourself, just enjoy your lovely baby:-)

Wow, think of it a different way - you went through both types of delivery during one birth. You got your baby all the way through a natural birth and then experienced a c-section. You did the hard work twice - that is amazing and you should be proud of yourself for going this. I am in awe of all the women who experience this - the first half was hard enough let along adding in the section as well. There are so many things in our lives which we can not control, or in hind sight wish we had done differently. When I delivered DD2 I wish I had recognized when my body was going through the different stages (I didn't experience them with DD1 due to the epidural) then I would have been a bit more emotionally ready for her arrival that evening. I had done all the classes but I guess just never asked the questions which would have helped me on the day to be a little more ready. In saying that I have taken all the positives, turned a few of the negatives into funny anecdotes to share with DD when she ( in 30 odd years time) prepares to become a mum and asks me about my two deliveries. I know I didn't go thru what you did but I just wanted to post to say well done and enjoy your little girl. Lots of other ladies have been in your exact shoes and will have much more pragmatic advice. Take care