Gina Ford or the Baby Whisperer?

Before I delivered my baby I read all GF books... and once I had my baby in my hands nothing made sense to me: Let him cry? A feed at 7.30 pm for 20 minutes? It is no way I was going to do that to my baby!!!!! From the very beginning my baby slept and ate on demand: When he is crying I offer him breast and if he does not want my breast I try to sleep him. And yes, he feels asleep in my arms and he sleeps in my bed regularly. Babies need love and to be close to their mums as much as they can. If they cry they need to be held, even if the only thing they need is love and physical contact with Mummy. Now I have a 3 months old baby who sleeps through the night (he wakes up once for feeding, but because he is next to me in bed I only have to offer my breast and none of us is really awake during this night fed). And he was sleeping all night since the first month. GF advises Mums to introduce a formula feeding in the evenings! That is so wrong as if you feed on demand you won't ever need formula. GF only makes sense if you need to come back to work soon and you are not planning to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months.

I didn't read any books in the beginning....fed DS on demand, let him fall asleep on me when he was tired etc. That was the easiest thing for us both at the time and with a c-sec recovery worked well. I read BW at around 2-3 months when a friend lent it to me but to be honest when DS didn't seem to fit into the EASY routine all it did was stress me out. From about 4-6 months DS went from a great sleeper to a really bad one, waking every 45 mins through the night due to his dummy sleep association problem, so then I did wish I'd read a bit more earlier and maybe avoided the dummy and letting him be rocked to sleep etc. But I wouldn't give up all those lovely cuddles when he was a newborn for the world (waking every 45 min through the night was another story though!!). Feeding wise he never fit the feed every 3 or 4 hours mold until he was about 6 months and at that point I tried to follow a loose GF plan which luckily for us seemed to suit him, but certainly wouldn't have any earlier. Enjoy the early days, go with your instincts...don't read too much (or just cherry pick the relevant info without getting too stuck on the details), just come on EW and all the ladies will help you out - that's what I did!! Lastly I will say I was very anti GF in the beginning, but in the end it was her routines that worked for us later down the track, however we didn't follow them to the exact minute and shifted around them to suit us. I also found keeping a journal very helpful in the early days to see the patterns (feeding, sleeping, pooping etc). I still do it now - more to ensure DS gets a balanced diet but I do think I have a "journal addiction" LOL

For all you pregnant ladies freaking out, honestly most things to do with newborns are easy, its truly not hard to change a nappy, bath a baby, dress them, swaddle them etc. The two biggies are figuring out when they are tired, and when they are hungry. (and attitudes to sleep and food are the most divisive between mothers) Hungry is fairly obvious they make a little eh eh eh noise, you stroke the side of their cheek and they turn, open their mouth etc, its called a rooting reflex and its a cue you can't really miss once you learn it. Tiredness is probably harder and I think the single biggest mistake new parents make is missing the tired cues, and keeping their baby up too long, baby gets over stimulated, starts to cry, parents wave toys around, offer milk etc and baby gets more annoyed, when they are finally given a chance to sleep they are too agitated and find it hard to settle. If you work on a 90 minute maximum awake time as a starting point (including BFing) and allow for a long chilled out winding down time, then basically with a newborn they wake, you feed them, change them cuddle them/talk to them for 10 minutes or so then swaddle them and allow them to relax and gradually drift off to sleep, (in your arms, in a sling, in a bouncer, in a bassinet.... it really doesn't matter with a newborn) then you stand a much better chance of having a well rested happy baby than if you try and "play" with them for longer and wait until they seem really really tired or cry before attempting to settle them. That's not a magic recipe though (although it worked really well for my newborn), some babies find it much much harder to settle and need more help with soothing, and you will have to play it by ear but pretty much all babies settle better, and feed better, when they are not over tired and over stimulated. if you remember just that and only that, then you are off to a good start. As far as breastfeeding, for some women it goes well from day one and they don't need any help, but for others it can be quite a learnign curve for mum and baby. So many books give terrible advice and all the good books and DVDs in the world pale in comparison to having hands-on advice from a properly qualified LC who is physically in the same room as you, (what may look like a good latch to you, your friend, your mother in law and even to a hospital nurse can actually be really really off) def set aside a little money for an appointment with a board certified LC, there is a list of BFing support in the family section of EW.

I went with BW as I found GF far too militant- it's a baby!!! But I don't think I followed BW to the letter exactly, you've got to listen to your instincts as well, but it was an absolute lifesaver when my LO was 5 weeks old & us first time parents had no clue at all what we were doing!!! There will be tears from all family members with a newborn, but hang in there, you'll figure it out!!!

email sent, ladies you can remove your addresses :)

I've also read both but decided that another book, "The sensational baby sleep plan" seemed more flexible and made more sense, to me. You can buy copies of it at the bookstore in Dubai Mall. Author is Alison Scott Wright. She also has a website. Every now and then I do check GF's book to see how we are tracking! I couldn't do CIO either and in the end invented my own sleep training which was very much focused on LO's needs but largely based on controlled crying (never more than 2 mins though!).

Sorry to hijack the thread but would it be possible to also send a copy of the PDF to me? Weve got 7 weeks to go and I feel like I know nothing... panic is setting in! Thanks <em>edited by Hugsys on 28/06/2012</em>

Suuch a long time ago for me now.....but my advice is GF is not a baby manual, be aware that not all babies "fit" nicely into GF's routines, read it and take away the key messages but if the baby is clearly not a GF baby and it doesn't work, don't let GF override your motherly instincts and your close observations of your newborn baby. I also recall GF doesn't sit well with breastfeeding. BW is a lot more flexible, taking a step back, I think there is a lot of common grounds IMHO, I think you could read and digest them and reconcile them in your head, but need to let your instinsts guide you through the early months. For a more balanced view, I would also recommend the What to Expect.... edited by Sugarbeach on 27/06/2012 <em>edited by Sugarbeach on 27/06/2012</em>

I've read both and they're very similar tbh, the sleeping/feeding routines are almost the same. Probably out of the two the BW as it has advice on following tired signs for the first few months, rather than GF's strict timings, which makes more sense as circadian rhythms don't really solidify until the 12 week mark. The breastfeeding advice in both is terrible/misleading/iignorant though and although some women can feed that way, you'd risk breastfeeding not working out for very long if you followed it to the letter and ignored your babies cues, I only really figured that out 3 months into following the EASY routine, at which point I realized that I could either switch to formula/top up or feed the exact way the BW warned against. I did my own research and discovered all her advice regarding the "dangers" of snacking / foremilk vs hindmilk etc was WRONG, by feeding on cue my babies reflux improved, his weight gain increased a percentile and I successfully BF until 22 months. That experience turned me off the BW a lot but if you ignore that part and read up on breastfeeding yourself, the nap timings are helpful I guess and the tired signs stuff is really good. as is the advice regarding "props" Everyone says the BW is less strict but apart from the tired signs for the first few months I personally think they are both pretty strict and its up to you to use your discretion to figure out a plan if you find your baby doesn't fit their pattern as they don't really allow for variations. For the BW, "The BW solves all your problems" is the one I'd buy. I also found the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child good for explaining how infant sleep works and how to figure out the best nap times for your baby, the author (a well published medial sleep researcher and Pediatrician) doesn't worry about a feeding schedule at all, which is far more appropriate for a breastfeeding mum as there are huge variations between women in terms of how much milk they can let down per nursing session, so nursing on cue is a much safer way to keep your baby well nourished and keep your supply up without having to supplement. Since I'm not really ok with crying based sleep training, I also found the book "the no-cry sleep solution" very useful in terms of getting your baby into good sleep associations and gently breaking any bad ones, The BW is NOT no-cry, its just anti leaving babies to cry alone so I guess its a bit of a middle ground between CIO and no-cry techniques. If you'd like the NCSS as a PDF I'm happy to email it to you, just let me know your email address.