There really is. If you've got a chest infection you can tell the world, but if you're ill with a depressive illness - and it is an illness, like meals and Green-ish and HK have all reminded me on many an occasion :D - you don't want to talk about it in case people think you're weird. You actually feel more contagious having something like PND than I think you would with chicken pox!
So very true. I think part of the stigma is that it's so invisible, or can be hidden so easily and because it's so internal, even your nearest and dearest, even if they try so hard, can't really understand it or what you're going through. It's not like a broken leg, where everyone can relate to the pain and inconvenience!
Just as an aside, as part of the post-natal care we receive in the UK, a health visitor visits the new mum in her home and one of the main points of this is to see if she may need extra support due to PND. The HV fills in that questionnaire with the mum, but when mine did, she wasn't really concentrating on the questions, but watching my reaction to them. Because of my previous experience, and the fact I was on my own with 2 under 2, I had already told her I was worried that it might happen. We had a good chat afterwards and she said that if it was all down to the questionnaire, they'd send them in the post, but it was important to go round the mum's house and be with her - far more telling. She said, that ironically a house like mine (utter chaos) was far more reassuring than a spotless one (bear in mind it's rare to have cleaners in the UK), as was someone who'd "let it all out" rather than someone who'd smile and nod and put on a brave face.
My antenatal teacher admitted she'd suffered from extreme PND. She said that every single day, she couldn't face dealing with her new baby to such an extent that she'd leave it upstairs in the cot and busy herself downstairs, trying her best to ignore it. Whenever anyone came to visit, she'd say the baby was asleep or make some other excuse. I don't know what help she needed in the end, she didn't go into that much detail, but it happens.
<em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 01/02/2011</em>
There really is. If you've got a chest infection you can tell the world, but if you're ill with a depressive illness - and it is an illness, like meals and Green-ish and HK have all reminded me on many an occasion :D - you don't want to talk about it in case people think you're weird. You actually feel more contagious having something like PND than I think you would with chicken pox!
I completely agree with all HAK and DC have said. Exercise was a wonderful thing for me - I made myself a priority for a short time every day and did something for me - exercise was a great way to enjoy that time. Sleep... Oh I wish!!! But yep, so important.
Also, as DC suggested, Dr Smylie is fantastic.
Talk about it all, feelings, thoughts etc with DH. Start keeping a journal of how you're feeling. Take time for you. These are all great things to do for any mum! But if you're suffering PND - especially so. You can't look after bub if you don't look after yourself first.
I wish there wasn't so much stigma attached to mental illness - do seek help and either way, making that first step towards feeling better will help.
There's also the Edinburgh Post-Natal Depression Scale, which is probably similar to the one meals suggested. I did the EPNDS one a while ago and also scored 20 :(.
I went to Dr Smylie at the Dubai London Clinic in Festival City and she was very understanding. She referred me to Sabina Christensen at the Jumeirah branch but I haven't been to see her yet as I'm starting to feel better.
Just one question for you - are you getting enough sleep? I'm by no means my normal, happy self yet but now DS is sleeping better I feel like a whole new person. I'm sure some of the way I've been feeling is due to PND but a huge chunk of it was utter exhaustion.
a lot of that is actually perfectly normal - we're suddenly thrown into a situation that no one could prepare us for, where a person is entirely dependant on us and yet seems to have their own agenda! So many of us feel like this quite a bit.
BUT, PND is when it starts affecting how you lead your life. Look out for feeling completely out of control and/or seeking solace in things you can control (a typical one is ignoring the baby in order to keep the house spotless). There's much more to it than that, but in essence, try and chuck yourself out of the house and meet up with other mums. Some will come across as serenely coping perfectly, others will be "normal", but just getting out is fabulous.
Other things to try are keeping active, exercising, eating healthily and regularly and yes, talking about how you feel. It's how we deal with things.
You poor thing :( Obviously the best thing to do is find a good GP and speak with them. However, there are checklists you can do yourself to see how you rate with regards to severity. I find the one on this website good for assessing yourself...
www.beyondblue.org.au
It is, however, completely normal to worry about who will look after our LO's should something happen - that's why we make wills! But PND is serious and the earlier it's assessed the easier to get on top of.
Just a quick question - are you on the mini-pill? Often this can cause the same sypmtoms you're describing and another method of birth control may be best.
so i made DH do the checklist on my behalf and i score 20.. it's bad! what do i do now? any GP should be ok or should i consult some specialist? :(
You poor thing :( Obviously the best thing to do is find a good GP and speak with them. However, there are checklists you can do yourself to see how you rate with regards to severity. I find the one on this website good for assessing yourself...
www.beyondblue.org.au
It is, however, completely normal to worry about who will look after our LO's should something happen - that's why we make wills! But PND is serious and the earlier it's assessed the easier to get on top of.
Just a quick question - are you on the mini-pill? Often this can cause the same sypmtoms you're describing and another method of birth control may be best.
thanks for the reply and the website meals.. no, am not using any pills..
You poor thing :( Obviously the best thing to do is find a good GP and speak with them. However, there are checklists you can do yourself to see how you rate with regards to severity. I find the one on this website good for assessing yourself...
www.beyondblue.org.au
It is, however, completely normal to worry about who will look after our LO's should something happen - that's why we make wills! But PND is serious and the earlier it's assessed the easier to get on top of.
Just a quick question - are you on the mini-pill? Often this can cause the same sypmtoms you're describing and another method of birth control may be best.
how do i know if i am suffering from it? i think i am having the symptoms, like crazy mood swings, feeling of loneliness, don't feel like doing anything, sometimes feel like running from everything and last night i had this weird thought that if something happens to me who will look after DS!!