Sleep routines and travel

I'm still struggling with LO's sleep and we've been back for 4 weeks now ..... I've got her going to sleep on time which is always consistently at 7.30-8pm. She usually falls asleep on her last bottle and I put her down in the crib .... If she doesn't fall asleep then I put her in her crib awake and it takes a few attempts of stroking her, shhhhh ing her, putting her mobile on, maybe giving her a pacifier ..... But usually within about 15 minutes she will fall asleep. If I leave her and walk away then she'll usually cry and protest and depending on how tired she is maybe fall asleep or maybe not without my help ... She gets up at between 7.30-8.00am. Her bedtime and time she wakes is fine but it's what happens in-between that is totally random ..... Sometimes she sleeps through till 4am for 8 hours straight has a quick 10 min feed and then back to sleep until morning and other nights she wakes up like 5 times a night. Sometimes she wakes up and ends up playing a bit and rolling on to her front and then screams because she can't get onto her back, other times she needs to be fed to go back to sleep, or a pacifier might work or I might leave her to cry for a few minutes and she'll go back to sleep. But it's all totally random???? With other babies I understand they wake looking for their pacifier and mummy just needs to pop it back in and they go back to sleep but with my LO it tIes different things at different wakings to get her back to sleep but the one that never fails is to put her on the b**b which I know I shouldn't do too often. My husband suggested we try CIO which we did for 3 days but it didn't seem to improve and I don't like the thought of leaving her to cry in the middle of the night in case she actually needs me to roll her back over, or she is hungry or thirsty or has some teething pain ... Does anyone have ANY suggestions as to what might be causing her to wake some nights and sleep OK on others? She has never slept for than 8-9 hrs without waking. I don't know what to do??!

My 10.5 month old is going through the exact same thing! We have also just arrived back from a few months away with a 7hr time difference. My DD seemed to shake the jet lag really well. We put her straight back on her normal routine as soon as we arrived. We got in at 5am and i put her back to sleep until 7am at which time i had to wake her but we started straight back on her normal routine. The afternoon wasn't easy but the following day she was right back on track. She has however been waking a bit during the night - she used to sleep 7-7 without a peep. At first i started going in to settle her but found she was starting to rely on it and wouldn't let me put her back down until she was in a deep sleep. Now i just wait to see if she will re-settle which generally she will do within a couple of minutes. If she doesn't i send my husband in to give her a quick hug and put her back down..she knows she can't fool him into a longer cuddle! Natashak - the routine book I used has some good advice for traveling and has worked wonders with my DD since we started it. It's called Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall and I can't recommend it enough!

Hi - I wanted to post a similar thread so thought I'd jump in onto this one (sorry!) .... My DD is now 3.5 months old and for the last 6 weeks we've been in the US. She was quite an unsettled sleeper before we left but whilst in the US she fell into a wonderful routine of 7.30pm bedtime routine and she'd go to sleep between 8pm-9pm and then sleep through until around 5am (around 8hrs without waking) have a quick feed and then sleep again until 7am. I was absolutely delighted with her schedule. Now we are back here (9 hrs time difference) and she naps whenever she wants which is fine as she always did and I am trying to put her to sleep at Midnight to start with and slowly bring it earlier and earlier. The last few nights she has gone down at Midnight and been happy to sleep until Midday but wakes up literally every 2-3 hours and probably doesnt settle properly until around 5am when she goes longer stretches (but not 8 hrs straight like before). Obviously she wants to sleep until the afternoon so should I let her sleep as long as she wants or wake her up? And what time should I wake her up? I woke her up yesterday at 12pm and it didnt make any difference so do I need to wake her much earlier so she gets very tired and falls into her 'night' sleep before 5am? Oh and also, in USA, I got her sleeping in her crib in her own room and she would self-soothe herself in the night when she'd wake but here it seems she only settles properly if she is in the bed right next to me and has the b**b for comfort???? It is almost like I am back to when she was 1 week old ??!! Have I completely ruined her routine by the travel or will she fall back into a routine herself? Any advice please. Hi Natasha - timezone are always a sleep routine killer :) What I would recommend in this case - is to put DD to bed at whatever time she is tired (if it is midnight to begin with, then that will be ok in the meantime and you will hopefully modify that to a bit earlier by influencing her daytime sleeps). Usually we would not be waking a child before they wake naturally in the morning - but given the cross-timezone travel and DD sleeping til 12pm - she will not likely change without some input from your end. If she is sleeping at 12pm - you could look at waking her at around 8am. Feed, play, then put her down again for a nap when you feel she is tired. When she awake for a feed again - fit in some more play time etc before her next nap to try and prevent any long night-time like sleeps through out the day. If she reaches a 3hr nap, then it would be ok to wake her again (she will likely need feedin again anyway, so it wont be too disruptive to do so). This will slowly bring her back into a daytime waking pattern, and night time sleeping patter. Anytime after dark that she goes to sleep - treat that as the night time sleep. If she wakes anytime before morning - indeed, treat her like a new born and keep the lights low, little stimulation/interaction so she begins to adjust to night time being restful. It won't happen in 1 or 2 days - but if you continue with the same pattern her body clock will adjust to it quite easily. Once you have her sleeping for a stretch at night time continually - just nap at times and lengths that she needs naturally and you'll probbably find at this age her routine will start to become quite predictable timewise Good luck :)

Thanks SlobberKnocker for all that great advice. I've tried going in and out but her crying gets louder, sreechier and more unbearable. How long does it take to break the stubbornness? :( Stovetop - it will really depend on your baby. I agree, it can be really difficult when your baby is crying like that. As long as you know she has all her physical needs met, and you are re-assuring her emotionally - you also just need to reassure yourself that she is not crying because you need to "fix" something or "do" something (As this is our natural reaction to a baby's cry). I would say for the first few nights at least, you need to be prepared to be going in and out for an hour or two or maybe more. Its so dependent upon the baby. More or less the baby needs to reach their peak amount of effort at crying several sleeptimes in a row before they begin to realize that no matter how much effort - they will not sway you. After that they will realize the results are not worth the expenditure of effort - and thats when the pattern will begin to reverse again. Some babies may only cry for half an hour each night for a week before deciding its easier just to settle themselves. Some babies are more stubborn naturally or have had the crying/comforting pattern re-enforced quite repetitively - so they may keep crying for several hours for a couple of weeks. There really isnt a right or wrong timeframe. All I would say is that if you start to do this, you have to be ready to stick with it. If you go in and tuck her in every few minutes for an hour - then after an hour of crying you feel bad and go in and sit there until she sleeps - then this is re-enforcing that she needs to just cry harder/longer in order to get you to come back - so it will make it all the more difficult the next time. Its definitely not an easy process to go through, and is usually tiring and time consuming and can be emotional. If DH is around, it might help to take it in turns to be the one going back in to tuck her in. The other thing is - ensure you are lengthing the amount of time before going back in each time (so she does not associated he crying with you coming back faster). Hope this helps a little xx <em>edited by SlobberKnocker on 17/01/2012</em>

Hi - I wanted to post a similar thread so thought I'd jump in onto this one (sorry!) .... My DD is now 3.5 months old and for the last 6 weeks we've been in the US. She was quite an unsettled sleeper before we left but whilst in the US she fell into a wonderful routine of 7.30pm bedtime routine and she'd go to sleep between 8pm-9pm and then sleep through until around 5am (around 8hrs without waking) have a quick feed and then sleep again until 7am. I was absolutely delighted with her schedule. Now we are back here (9 hrs time difference) and she naps whenever she wants which is fine as she always did and I am trying to put her to sleep at Midnight to start with and slowly bring it earlier and earlier. The last few nights she has gone down at Midnight and been happy to sleep until Midday but wakes up literally every 2-3 hours and probably doesnt settle properly until around 5am when she goes longer stretches (but not 8 hrs straight like before). Obviously she wants to sleep until the afternoon so should I let her sleep as long as she wants or wake her up? And what time should I wake her up? I woke her up yesterday at 12pm and it didnt make any difference so do I need to wake her much earlier so she gets very tired and falls into her 'night' sleep before 5am? Oh and also, in USA, I got her sleeping in her crib in her own room and she would self-soothe herself in the night when she'd wake but here it seems she only settles properly if she is in the bed right next to me and has the b**b for comfort???? It is almost like I am back to when she was 1 week old ??!! Have I completely ruined her routine by the travel or will she fall back into a routine herself? Any advice please.

There are likely 2 factors at play. First - it is very common for sleeping habits to be disturbed during travel. Second - your baby is developing object permanence at this age. Regarding travel - its sounds as though your DD has become dependent on you being right there to resettle her. This habit does form within a couple of weeks (can happen in a matter of days). If crying (or crying harder) has been getting you to her side, it has been re-enforcing the behaviour. Regarding object permanence - at 9 to 10 months, you baby starts to "remember" you after you leave their sight. Before this, they were not able to picture you in their mind after they could not see you. This is the time in a baby's development that if you hide a toy, they will actually look for it. Often parents find that their child cries for the first time when leaving them with someone else, or sleeping habits might be a little unsettled for the first time. Usually this is easily resolved, but its likely complicated by the other factors with the travel. Its a very tiring routine for both the parent and the baby when unsettled sleep patterns develop. They are not necessarily difficult to change - but it can be uncertain and emotional. There are many theories out there for how it should be handled. There are usually heated debates around how to handle it - some people will tell you to sit with DD no matter what. Some will tell you to just cry it out with no intervention. The good thing in your case is you already know she IS capable of settling herself. And this IS just a habit that has formed (note, not a phase - as a phase will end on its own, and a habit requires a conscious effort). What you need to do is establish a balance between showing your baby you are still there for her - but at the same time reduce the amount of intervention she needs to resettle. Here is a method that is quite successful, and seems to strike that balance as much as possible. Put your baby to bed, do all the usual things you used to do that let her know its sleep time, and then leave the room. If she cries - wait a minute or two, then go in, tuck her in and tell her again its sleep time and leave right away. Continue doing this, lengthening the amount of time between going back each time until she finally goes to sleep. This lets your baby know that it is definitely sleep time and that although you are still there and not 'leaving' her, she needs to settle without any intervention from you. You will usually find that it will get worse before it gets better - she is used to crying and having you come and sit with her. So she will likely cry harder and harder the first few times, expecting that she just needs to make more of a fuss to get the result that the fuss got before. As long as you are calm, confident, going back at the increasing intervals to tuck her back in and show her you're there - she is not afraid. In this case - she is crying because she wants you there simply because she got used to you being there. Its similar to when a baby cries for their dummy - its not because they are afraid, or because they physically "need" a dummy - its because they are used to it and they simply [i'>want[/i'> it. Its not unlikely she will get a bit of a temper to her cry at this age when she feels she's not getting the response she is used to lately (temper cries are the red-face high pitched ones). Its important to be steadfast - every time you give in to the crying, she will cry harder next time. If she senses you are unsure - she will feel insecure. If she was always a good sleeper - you will likely find it quicker to get her back into a self-settling pattern than a baby who has never self settled before. The important thing you need to remember is that she CAN self settle, and she can do it again. Hope this helps