Am I being unreasonable? Really annoyed!! | ExpatWoman.com
 

Am I being unreasonable? Really annoyed!!

1039
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 19:59

Tell me if I'm overreacting please...about to flip on DH!

I've just seen pics on his friend's Facebook wall from Jan, and he's driving my car!! I never heard anything about this - all I know is that this man is 21, has a new license and has only this week got his own car. Me and DH share the car but I'm paying the financing so am responsible for it...

I'm furious! Am I being really weird and posessive? It's not even a particularly nice car...but just the thought that he's letting someone he doesn't even know very well use it, without telling me, has got right under my skin. I guess he has been using it for months whilst I'm at work - ewww and then he's touched the steering wheel and I don't know where he's been (he's 21...in Dubai...so, really, that is gross to me).

Sorry this probably sounds so petty...argh!

407
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 February 2011 - 10:37
Its a bit confusing about the picture you mention, is it taken from the inside or out? Who would have taken the picture? May sound a weird question, but really - don't understand. So there's at least one other person who gets shuttled in the car? Best scenario for me would be that DH actually sat with him while he drove the car and was giving himself a break from driving. Loaning my car would be invasion of my private space for me. I leave my stuff - shopping, jewellery, money, paper work in my car at times. Its plain wrong to have not got your permission or at least told you. Great that you can vent here and get perspectives, but the possibilities are endless and only you know if its a harmless over generous DH. In my case when my brand new car was lent out and came back with scratches from the outside and FILTHY + a cig burn on the seat (must admit then BH was fuming too)...I eventually learnt the guy it was lent to was ex BH's partner!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 February 2011 - 10:12
That is annoying. But I think you should just start by asking your husband calmly about the matter. Maybe he has a good reason for this? I find many men don't talk about something if they consider it a non-event. I'm not saying that this would not make me angry - just make sure you give him a chance to talk before you jump to any conclusions...and if the idea of someone else driving your car makes you cringe - check out the other thread on where to go to get your car cleaned on the inside ;)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 22:43
i don't look at mine lol Ha ha some people would say that is weird! :D
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 22:41
i don't look at mine lol
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 22:40
why woould he have put the pic on his facebook in the first place and why are you looking at your DH's facebook ?? seems you have lots of issues going on... you need to ask your husband why he is loaning out your car without checking the insurance... Why would she NOT be looking at her DH's Facebook?????????????
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EW GURU
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 22:14
I would be absolutely annoyed as well. It's a very bizarre situation, that its actually happened and your DH hasn't mentioned it! And why has your DH and this guy made an effort to exclude you in general?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:51
Your marriage has communication issues. Perhaps they are small, but they are there. You should speak and have a long talk too.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:49
facebook is responsible for so much damage between couples!!! For goodness sake just speak to your DH about it, there could be a very reasonable explanation. no... facebook is responsible for so much damage full stop !!! i swear some people shouldn't be anywhere near it !! Oh for heaven's sakes. Facebook is a website. people are responsible for their own mistakes, not Facebook,cripes. Yeah but seems a huge % of the population just don't have the IQ to be able to use it without proplems.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:45
facebook is responsible for so much damage between couples!!! For goodness sake just speak to your DH about it, there could be a very reasonable explanation. no... facebook is responsible for so much damage full stop !!! i swear some people shouldn't be anywhere near it !! Oh for heaven's sakes. Facebook is a website. people are responsible for their own mistakes, not Facebook,cripes.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:21
facebook is responsible for so much damage between couples!!! For goodness sake just speak to your DH about it, there could be a very reasonable explanation. no... facebook is responsible for so much damage full stop !!! i swear some people shouldn't be anywhere near it !! Yep, very dangerous thing for 99% of the population!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:19
facebook is responsible for so much damage between couples!!! For goodness sake just speak to your DH about it, there could be a very reasonable explanation. no... facebook is responsible for so much damage full stop !!! i swear some people shouldn't be anywhere near it !!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:18
doesn't make much sense...is it a sporty car or something ? and if he normally excludes you why did DH want you to look at pictures of his work do ? Did he not realise the pic of your car was on there ? Sorry, i wouldn't be happy if it was me....
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:16
facebook is responsible for so much damage between couples!!! For goodness sake just speak to your DH about it, there could be a very reasonable explanation.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:10
He had actually told me to look at his mate's profile as there were some pictures from a work do on there which he wanted me to see, so that's how I came across this picture. And why would he put the picture...I would guess because he felt entitled to use the car (probably because DH let him!)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 21:01
why woould he have put the pic on his facebook in the first place and why are you looking at your DH's facebook ?? seems you have lots of issues going on... you need to ask your husband why he is loaning out your car without checking the insurance...
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:34
seems like it's a question of lack of respect..... Seems like you and DH need to have a serious chat about lots of things..... Good luck (and minimum age on standard insurance is 25)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:28
The problem is that DH uses it when I'm at work - or so I thought - most of the time if I'm working and he's off he'll go to his friends' houses including this guy. That bothers me anyway as sometimes I feel like this is just my house and he's a visiting boyfriend or something, only here when I'm here! I suppose there's nothing I can do really, so maybe I'll just leave it. He KNOWS that this would annoy me, definitely, so if he's been doing it anyway then I don't think kicking up a fuss will stop it or make him 'realise' it upsets me. You know what? I am SO glad to be going home next week. That's the next thing isn't it - people staying in the house while I'm away. I will go ballistic!! Arrrgh!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:23
Yikes, I would be fizzing! I don't generally lend my car to people - not because I'm precious about it at all, but because I have a fair few years' no claims so I get a decent discount on my insurance premiums. I don't want a situation where I end up paying more because someone else dinged it. It'd be too awkward. But if someone had used it without my knowledge and damaged it, yes, I'd be furious.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:21
Can U buy those steering wheel locks like you get in Halfords here? Then you can keep the keys and no-one, but no-one will be able to use the car except you!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:20
He hasn't said anything yet - he's asleep. I don't know whether to say anything as he'll just say I'm being crazy. Maybe I am just strange - it bothers me that someone would use my things (a car no less) without even asking (DH) or making any effort to say thanks (the man) or any effort with me in general. I'm fairly sure that our policy is only 3rd party cover for under 25's. So if he crashed it I would have to pay for the car to be fixed. Touch wood it hasn't happened (though it does explain the several massive scratches and one dent which have appeared and DH had no idea about).
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:14
My insurance fully covers drivers over the age of 25 and those aged 23-25 have to pay a greater excess, so it would be worth checking your policy. If he's made a point of excluding you, then make a point of excluding him from your car!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:14
Aw bless! We all have our 'thing' I suppose. Get the Dettol wipes out and give them to DH to go and wipe the surfaces for you! What has he said about it all?
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:11
I know the germs thing sounds bizarre, but I just cringe at the thought of some random man being in there! Plus I have a lot of stuff in there which I don't want people messing with - personal items and documents etc. He was definitely driving as in the pics the car is in motion (the outside is all blurry). DH has never let me meet this guy or the group in general and they've actually made quite an effort to exclude me, so it bugs me no end that he's using my stuff. I actually don't like him very much (is that possible never having met him lol!)
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:05
It's not petty at all but it is deceitful. I wouldn't be happy either!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 12 February 2011 - 20:05
I'd be a bit annoyed that DH hadn't told me, but only because he might bot be covered by the insurance (a lot of policies only cover drivers over 25 or named drivers, check your policy). But I wouldn't care that he had touched the steering wheel, lol, what on earth do you think he was doing prior to touching the steering wheel, I'm quite curious?! Ask your DH, he may have only borrowed it, or even sat in it once. See what he says and then work out if it is worth being upset about.
 
 

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