birds and the bees talk.... | ExpatWoman.com
 

birds and the bees talk....

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:13

At what age? My daughter is nearly ten. I thought around 12 but I don't want her to find out from her friends first and possibly get embarrassed?

Although I realise at school its in year 6 so I guess soon?
<em>edited by Nobbles on 12/01/2011</em>

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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:59
You can do it with humour. this video is great Where did I come From http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Howie-Mandel/dp/B000BITVGU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1294901474&sr=1-1 also available as book http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539 Also hilarious and educational is the follow up What's Happening to Me http://www.amazon.com/First-Aid-Parents-Whats-Happening/dp/B000M5AUMG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1294901474&sr=1-2 or book http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Me-Guide-Puberty/dp/0818403128/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294901310&sr=1-3 I loved the video as a kid and had no extra questions for mom ;) edited by Wendopia on 13/01/2011 i got where di i come from for my then 6 year old...i was preggers, and she had Q..veru very good book.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:53
umm, why does knowing the ins and outs of s e x mean that your child will suddenly not believe in santa and the tooth fairy? we always had alot of animals and so i cant remember ever NOT knowing about 'the birds and bees' but i still believed in santa and the tooth fairy well up to 9 or 10 years old. telling your children about s e x doesnt take away their innocence, just their ignorance. Well said.....what a sensible post!!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:51
i like this link... http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/talking_to_your_kids_about_sex facts for families is also available in other languages too..i find them very resourceful.. http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/facts_for_families <em>edited by Goose on 13/01/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:51
umm, why does knowing the ins and outs of s e x mean that your child will suddenly not believe in santa and the tooth fairy? we always had alot of animals and so i cant remember ever NOT knowing about 'the birds and bees' but i still believed in santa and the tooth fairy well up to 9 or 10 years old. telling your children about s e x doesnt take away their innocence, just their ignorance.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:50
You can do it with humour. this video is great Where did I come From http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Howie-Mandel/dp/B000BITVGU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1294901474&sr=1-1 also available as book http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Peter-Mayle/dp/0818402539 Also hilarious and educational is the follow up What's Happening to Me http://www.amazon.com/First-Aid-Parents-Whats-Happening/dp/B000M5AUMG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1294901474&sr=1-2 or book http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Me-Guide-Puberty/dp/0818403128/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294901310&sr=1-3 I loved the video as a kid and had no extra questions for mom ;) <em>edited by Wendopia on 13/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:38
You have to base this on the individual child and make it age appropriate, being honest and open without delving into too much depth is IMHO the best way to approach this subject. Keep it simple and use correct terminology, answer when questions are asked and have a good laugh about it.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:29
It's OK..we just see things differently. I see preteen entering puberty...
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 10:08
I disagree Goose, every child develops at different times...what might be right for one 10 year old maybe not right for another....
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 09:53
Some good points raised but I think I will leave it for another six months or if she asks between then, I will tell her. I think children aren't children for long enough these days and whilst she believes in Santa and the tooth fairy etc I will enjoy her wonderful innocence for as long as possible. edited by Nobbles on 13/01/2011 IMHO you are fooling yourself(even that I can see why you would want to hang on to the "innocence"), u can't protect them forever...they depend on what they receive from thier own parents, especially at that age...if u have issues talking about it, mb she has issues asking u the Q.Just a thought..not trying to have a go.. u might be surprised how much she knows if u ask her openly about it...sometimes u have to be the one having to start conversation's.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 08:22
My mum didn't tell me a thing! the only pearls of wisdom she came out with were " tampax are for married ladies" ?????? and she's a nurse, so i believed her! All i would say is though, i learnt everything about this subject from a rather rough neighbours kids who knew far too much!! i was about 8 or 9, so i was shocked, and i think that most children have friends like this, maybe your kids know more than they are letting on ? I told my daughter it all straight she was more embaressed than me! i thought i'd scar her for life and put her off, i told her about STD's and the lot! poor child.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 07:58
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... So if one of her male schoolmates is talking her into "doing something fun" she will genuinely have no clue what it is all about and what it could lead to. Hmmmm, now I know finally how 11 year old girls can end up pregnant and have no clue how it happens. What's so wrong about telling your kids when they ask? It's not like they'll run off and do it right away? With my stepdaughter I had several talks like that. The first time when she was 6ish, and again and again whenever she asked. Always giving the information appropriate to her age. And most of the time it was her who said "OK, enough now" LOL edited by happymommy on 13/01/2011 I see you point but just because a child doesn't know about the birds and the bees, it doesn't mean that they willjump onto a boy when encouraged by a friend? In my experience 11 year olds that hang around with 13/15 year old are the ones that fall pregnant and are often out on their own with their parents not knowing much about where they are. These girls are streetwise and know exactly what they're doing without thinking about the consequences although I agree there will be some that will fall foul of a boys charm. Having said that, I think that a mother knows whether a daughter would do such or thing or even be in a position to be doing such a thing (e.g even being alone with a boy somewhere) and just because a child doesn't know about the birds and the bees, will they think of that kind of behaviour as normal for them? Some good points raised but I think I will leave it for another six months or if she asks between then, I will tell her. I think children aren't children for long enough these days and whilst she believes in Santa and the tooth fairy etc I will enjoy her wonderful innocence for as long as possible. <em>edited by Nobbles on 13/01/2011</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 07:51
When my kids were younger, I had a couple of books that I left in the bathroom for them to look at. Strange place to leave them, but it seemed to work. I just kept telling them that if they had any questions that they could ask me anything. My approach to them was that I would always tell them the truth because at least they could trust me to be honest as opposed to learning it second hand or getting incorrect info. Keeping in mind, the information I gave them was age appropriate. Knowledge is power and you don't want your kids getting into strange/weird situations because you weren't comfortable talking to them.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 07:50
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... mine too! and the tooth fairy! bless lol yes and the tooth fairy...i dont remember my mum giving me the talk,all i remember is some dodgy programme i had to watch in high school, and discussing it with my friends at school... Never had the talk from my mum. Remember the school video! I remember a couple walking hand in hand into the sunset with the sea lapping at their feet! Lol! I saw the exact same video! I think I was 10. I also never had the talk at home.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 07:23
There are some really good books that are age appropriate on the market (eg) Whats happening to me / For Girls Only and many others for boys and girls. It's great to cover the topics but then give the children something they can read and digest by themselves, often they come back with questions or comments such as ..... I didn't know that.......
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 06:31
Nothing is wrong when u tell your kids when they ask... My dd hasn't asked she's in year 5 ... And I know none of her friends know either . They get taught it in year 6 ... A six year old will not understand it all and prob just laugh. There's a lot of growing up between year 5 and going to high school ... And each parent will know when it's time to tell there own child.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2011 - 04:46
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... So if one of her male schoolmates is talking her into "doing something fun" she will genuinely have no clue what it is all about and what it could lead to. Hmmmm, now I know finally how 11 year old girls can end up pregnant and have no clue how it happens. What's so wrong about telling your kids when they ask? It's not like they'll run off and do it right away? With my stepdaughter I had several talks like that. The first time when she was 6ish, and again and again whenever she asked. Always giving the information appropriate to her age. And most of the time it was her who said "OK, enough now" LOL <em>edited by happymommy on 13/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 22:09
By the age of ten they will find out from you or from someplace/person else.Either way they will find and they do find out. We been talking on and off in varius degrees about this since early age...especially since last baby in the house.There is plenty literature out there to aproach this subject in the manner u feel most comfrotable. <em>edited by Goose on 12/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:58
Dont really remember a great deal, but my mum did say "dont ever come home pregnant, your dad will kill you" and keep your legs closed. I had a different approach to both my girls.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:57
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... mine too! and the tooth fairy! bless lol yes and the tooth fairy...i dont remember my mum giving me the talk,all i remember is some dodgy programme i had to watch in high school, and discussing it with my friends at school... Never had the talk from my mum. Remember the school video! I remember a couple walking hand in hand into the sunset with the sea lapping at their feet! Lol!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:35
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... mine too! and the tooth fairy! bless lol yes and the tooth fairy...i dont remember my mum giving me the talk,all i remember is some dodgy programme i had to watch in high school, and discussing it with my friends at school...
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:31
That sounds rather old to me! Are you sure she isn't already au fait with with the whole affair from other sources? (I certainly was at that age, despite a fairly sheltered upbringing.) And haven't you already had the periods talk? Yes, had period talk over a year ago but surely *** is a topic that should be discussed a little while after that? Maybe I'm old fashioned? I guess I'm worried my daughter will this me and hubby are gross! Lol! But doesn't it lead on logically enough to why we have periods, baby-making etc? I'd have seen it as all of a piece. Honestly, I'd talk to her as soon as possible. I had that conversation with my godson when he was six - was highly amused he thought I was the person to ask! I think she's far more likely to pick up misinformation and 'ew, that's gross' attitudes from her peers, whereas if you talk to her, you get to choose how she's introduced to the idea of s&x. (That is, if she's genuinely not been discussing it for years with her friends!)
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:29
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ... mine too! and the tooth fairy! bless
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:28
You can get a child friendly version in book form - Dorling Kindersly used to do one that was very good. It put it in proper terms but in a simple way Not sure if you would get one here though
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:27
Oh nice! :\: ETA - to GA's post <em>edited by Sanddy_Dogg on 12/01/2011</em>
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:27
my dd is 10 ...in yr 5.. she knows all about periods but we left out the birds n the bees...my dd doesnt know and her friends dont know yet either ...she still believe s in santa lol and tries to convince her friends that he is real ...
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:26
I was told 'properly' at age 11, when I began getting periods. My mum gave me a book (aimed at young teens) which explained and left me to it, answering any questions I had. I'll never forget though - a friend got her first period whilst I was at a sleepover at her house, and her mum's method of explaining things was to drunkenly slur "well that means you have to use a c**dom from now on!". Poor girl was 12!! :\:
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:23
That sounds rather old to me! Are you sure she isn't already au fait with with the whole affair from other sources? (I certainly was at that age, despite a fairly sheltered upbringing.) And haven't you already had the periods talk? Yes, had period talk over a year ago but surely *** is a topic that should be discussed a little while after that? Maybe I'm old fashioned? I guess I'm worried my daughter will this me and hubby are gross! Lol!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:22
I don't know but my 6 year old DS asked just a few days ago how Mummies and Daddies got babies. I tried to do a simple version of Daddies giving Mummies a seed for their eggs when they have a 'special cuddle'. He asked what a special cuddle was like, and was it like a cuddle that parents give their children so of course I said no, so he asked again. I kind of fluffed and said I can't remember and he said, "Oh come ON, you MUST remember!" I'm hoping he'll forget about it now for a few years. I've been a bit more specific with DD who's coming up 12 quite a while ago and she hasn't asked since. There are some books on the subject that come recommended, and I think it's been discussed on here at some point.
Anonymous (not verified)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:20
DS is 6 & asked his dad a couple of months ago exactly what did we need "willys" for? DH replied to him "Do you really want to know?"" DS replied "Yes!" So DH explained to which DS raised his eyebrows & said "Right daddy - that's enough about willy's"
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 January 2011 - 21:19
That sounds rather old to me! Are you sure she isn't already au fait with with the whole affair from other sources? (I certainly was at that age, despite a fairly sheltered upbringing.) And haven't you already had the periods talk?
 
 

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