How to catch a possible cheating husband?

control alt and history(H) ... these are the buttons you key on the computer ... but looking at it logically ... its a good personal route to follow ! edited by bowbellscowbells on 17/03/2011 <em>edited by bowbellscowbells on 17/03/2011</em>

give me his phone number and i do honeytrap!

Just thought some computers hava an automatic finder in them;when I google something most things enter automatically as soon as I enter the first letter....;And if his IP address is in abu dhabi it will automatically put in places and things of reference to there...So be careful Iwouldnt go and accuse him of an affair over those facts

I sure understand your feelings ryana and alot of us have been there. I am also though, in the 'be careful' camp. Now, my suggestion might not be well taken by some but I have found that things are not always as they seem and communication can work. Often in a marriage we each get sidelined by our personal responsibilities and often the caring and love and comfort we give our children or the thought and concern we give our jobs does not always extend to our partners because of fatigue, complacency etc. By the end of the day when we see each other we have had a long, sometimes frustrating, tiring day and do not take the time to acknowledge our partner as our partner rather than someone else to take care of...at times walking in the door and getting a 2 min holding hug from the partner could make all the difference in the world and a glad you are home or so glad to see you. We sometimes forget that there are 2 of us together, this goes for both partners and when there are children that can sometimes fracture and we do not connect. For either partner this can be upseting and if there is not any communication or it becomes less and less, the other partner might feel neglected, unsure, distant. Someone has to change things, does not really matter who but someone does...in this case Ryana it might have to be you. Look at how you greet your husband, do the 2 min hug and ask him to be patient ;)...take time to ask him things and tell him about you, hold his hand and touch his arm. Bring comfort with you not suspision, smile not anger. I only suggest this and certainly not to say yo are wrong in your thinking but to see if a change in the dynamics of your relationship will bring your husbands face back to you :)..he could also be feeling that the child is always first and that you dont speak with him anymore, he might also be feeling neglected like you do but does not how to say this, just as you do not seem to be able to say this to him. I have no idea if this will help in the least but, we do forget that the man we married, will still be the man we married after the children have gone and we both must keep our marriage up or we will have nothing in the end. If in the end, he is cheating on you, then you have done all you can and will have another big decision to make. Hopefully that is not why he is distracted and not including you in his life.

I'm also in the 'be careful' camp. You're suspicious because your DH is acting our of character so make sure the methods you use to try and find out (using his phone and hiding in the bathroom with it) is not out of character for you. Good luck.

Hoping & Praying that its just stress that has wound OP's husband and nothing else and may her hunch be totally wrong.... Btw, if its otherwise, the following links could come handy. http://www.thepayback.com/ http://www.revengelady.com/

Ryana please please please be very careful if you do decide to do any of the below. Just have a think about how hurt your husband is going to be if he finds out what you are doing when he is actually doing nothing but work damn hard to provide for you and your girl. You could actually be giving him good reason to stray. I seriously recommend you don't do anything until you have a little more reason to snoop around. I hope to god you sort this out quickly x

As I have been in this situation years ago... for me it was the not knowing, it drives you mad. Sometimes you need the actual proof to see as even though it hurts, it's a weight off your shoulders and you can then move on to the next step. A woman should always trust her gut feelings. i agree. ladies, lets face it ... we have that 6th sense and we should always trust it. think back how many times you had a niggly feeling about something - anything! - and you found out it was true, or whatever. i'm not saying the OP's husband is cheating, but better to find out that there's NOTHING going on than tossing & turning about this. good luck ryana. i hope he's stressed, overworked & tired from the long commute x

what is his favourite take out food? Phone the takeout in Abu Dhabi you think he would order from and place an order, they will ask for his number which you give them, the last address he ordered to will be stored on their system. It might be somewhere other than his office.

As I have been in this situation years ago... for me it was the not knowing, it drives you mad. Sometimes you need the actual proof to see as even though it hurts, it's a weight off your shoulders and you can then move on to the next step. A woman should always trust her gut feelings.

You will think of someone......... a new friend with a DD the same age who needs advice perhaps?! Just invent someone.

And switch off your own phone! as the battery is dead!!!!! ;)

If you need proof then........... fake a phonecall on your phone and pretend the battery has suddenly gone, ask to use his phone quickly, so he can't say no. Pretend to make a call, whilst walking around, laughing etc, go out the room then either lock yourself in the bathroom whilst looking through his phone or do it quickly whilst out the room. If you don't know how to use his particular BB, go to a phoneshop first and familiarise yourself with how to get into texts, address, last call etc. I did this years and years ago with an ex boyfriend who wouldn't let me near his phone, laptop etc. I found out he had 7 women on the go! Great idea!!! Better to get a GF to call him on your phone as your battery is dead and take the phone from him and get to the bathroom! I like that one too ;)

I really wouldn't worry about this. You'll drive yourself mad otherwise. It doesn't sound like anything suspicious. He's probably just stressed out with work. We sometimes forget what a huge responsibility our husbands have, not just the job but making sure that we & the kids are having a good life too. Give him a hug when he gets in and maybe occasional thank him for everything he does for you and your girl. You'd be surprised how much he'll appreciate this. As for the internet searches, you should see what i've recently googled! Shocking but all so innocent :)

If you need proof then........... fake a phonecall on your phone and pretend the battery has suddenly gone, ask to use his phone quickly, so he can't say no. Pretend to make a call, whilst walking around, laughing etc, go out the room then either lock yourself in the bathroom whilst looking through his phone or do it quickly whilst out the room. If you don't know how to use his particular BB, go to a phoneshop first and familiarise yourself with how to get into texts, address, last call etc. I did this years and years ago with an ex boyfriend who wouldn't let me near his phone, laptop etc. I found out he had 7 women on the go! Great idea!!! Better to get a GF to call him on HIS phone as your battery is dead and take the phone from him and get to the bathroom! <em>edited by Nobbles on 17/03/2011</em>

I wouldnt say showering as soon as he walks in the door is a sign, My OH has always done this. Back home I had a couple of friends who did investigation work, they said check to see if shirts / clothes smell of perfume, check car for hairs, spending more money, going out more often on their own!!!!! just afew ideas. Maybe you are both over tired, what with you having a daughter, and his work, it could be just normal life getting you both down. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, mention you feel that your closeness has shifted.

If you need proof then........... fake a phonecall on your phone and pretend the battery has suddenly gone, ask to use his phone quickly, so he can't say no. Pretend to make a call, whilst walking around, laughing etc, go out the room then either lock yourself in the bathroom whilst looking through his phone or do it quickly whilst out the room. If you don't know how to use his particular BB, go to a phoneshop first and familiarise yourself with how to get into texts, address, last call etc. I did this years and years ago with an ex boyfriend who wouldn't let me near his phone, laptop etc. I found out he had 7 women on the go!

I will be away 1 month...he can't have off that much...my family needs to spend some time with me and dd...we dont get to see them often. I think that you need to concentrate on your own little family at this time. you'll have a rotten, miserable time if you're away for a month and suspect that he is cheating. Could he just be superstressed at work? Shutting down is a mechanism often used by stressed out husbands.

personally, I dont think he is, doesnt sound like anything suspicious really. If he was having an affair, he would as you say, see her during the day when you say he has the opportunity. He wouldnt sit at home on the PC messaging her would he? You dont have financial issues that maybe he is keeping from you? Mbe he is just stressed with work and thats his way to chill out when he gets home?

I think it comes to how much time he spends out "with friends" or "late work". If the Abu Dhabi work makes him come late why don't you think about move there to? Maybe he is not cheating at all, maybe just trying to unwind ..... I see for myself, If my husband was to see everything I look in internet I would be in big trouble. :\:

On my computer the history has nothing exept what I found in the search drop list...the banks are in uae and we dont need any new ones. I am planning to go for a vacation in my home country with dd soon and dh will not come along. He doesnt come late...but he has a job witch gives him free move during working hours. I am not able to see what he is doing on the laptop as the angle he is in is blind spot for me.. Why won't he go on holiday with you? Is he planning on going away that week himself........